Haru no Kousekiinai Arimasu
by Natsudori Lina
Summary: Black hair disheveled from what sleep he had managed to achieve, he leapt from his balcony with a last longing look at his bed. Tuxedo Kamen had work to do. And she was waiting for him. COMPLETE 12/31/11
1. Prologue

This not my first Sailor Moon fic, but I've lost the only other one I've ever written. This is merely the prologue, but I hope you enjoy it.

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A pale moon shone down on the sleeping city of Tokyo. At three in the morning, it was a time when only ruffians and workaholics were still awake. The city, for the most part, slept peacefully, but a few select residents of Minato-ku, who would best fall into the category of workaholics, soon would find their sleep interrupted by that other brand of insomniacs, the ruffians. These were a class of ruffians all their own, as were the workaholics who fought them. Policemen were no match for these monsters. Instead, the city, the _world,_ found themselves relying on costumed teenagers with powers the likes of which had never been seen.

And tonight, as the night sky flashed a disturbing black, unbeknownst to most, a demon that was surely from the depths of Hell was unleashed.

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Tsukino Usagi's blue eyes popped open, instantly alert. Something was wrong. The knowledge and certainty of it niggled at the edge of her senses, gnawing on her stomach. Something inside of her was clawing at her belly, desperate to get out, to escape the cage that had been created for it.

Usagi's hand shook with weariness as she pressed it to her mouth. She moaned resignedly. Again? It was the third time this week. She already had detention for running out of school during lunch yesterday and not returning until later.

She cast a hopeful glance at brooch on her bedside table, lying alongside what appeared to be a pink calculator. Nothing had happened yet. Maybe—

Her hopes were dashed. The golden brooch began to pulsate softly, washing the room in a pink light. Usagi sighed, willing her hands to stop shaking. The communicator was bound to go off at any moment. Wearily, she threw the covers aside, eased her trembling feet onto the floor and crossed to the table.

Within seconds, the communicator began beep, at first so softly that only the feline who slumbered on her bed registered the sound, but it grew louder bit by bit, until the sound threatened to wake up the other humans in the house. She stared at the communicator with an inscrutable expression on her face. After what seemed an eternity later, she pushed the button to answer the distress call.

She donned a cheery, sleepy expression, and stretched her mouth into a great yawn. "Moshi moshi?" she questioned blearily.

"Usagi no baka!"

So it was Rei this time.

"What took you so long to answer the communicator?"

"I was asleep."

"Typical Odango Atama. You could sleep through a tornado. It's no wonder you're barely passing your classes."

That stung. She knew Rei meant it in jest, but still.

She waved a hand at the communicator flippantly. She'd left it on the table so that Rei wouldn't ask why the screen was shaking. "Yeah, yeah. So where's the youma this time?"

"The park."

A snort. "That's original."

"Whatever Usagi, just get over here."

The signal cut off and Usagi dropped her dissimulated expression. Her hair glimmered in a patch of moonlight as she picked up the brooch. She'd leave her hair as it was, seemingly wilting as it hung dully from her head. She had neither the time nor the energy to create Sailor Moon's traditional hairstyle tonight.

She raised one exhausted hand over her head as she clutched the brooch in a hateful grip. The words left her mouth, almost of their own volition.

"Moon. Prism. Power."

And the room exploded into a world of white, burning light. Usagi felt herself infused with energy, possibly the only perk of the job. Her hair stopped wilting and seemed to _grow, _no longer hanging dully from her head, but almost floating there, a golden cloud. Her buried powers surfaced from the cage she'd locked them in, and forced her from the ratty (but comfortable) pink pajamas into a skintight, battle-ready sailor fuku. A flash of light on her forehead felt comforting, and Usagi's eyes closed briefly, relishing the adrenaline and sense of safety that lasted only a moment. A tiara appeared and the transformation was finished. Sailor Moon was ready.

And they were waiting for her.

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Chiba Mamoru was awakened by a hand crushing his heart. At least it felt that way. Power burned within him, and seethed at the surface, bubbling over as he writhed in his bed, sweating and clutching the sheets in his agony. He looked down when he felt a piercing pain in his hand. A rose was clutched there, the stem driving into his palm, creating a bloody mess.

He closed his eyes. This couldn't be happening again. He'd gotten a B on his Physics test yesterday because he'd run out before he'd finished the last 10 problems.

He sighed and raised his hand to the opposite palm, where golden sparks danced for a minute before the cut disappeared. The only sign that was left was the thick, red liquid that still dripped slowly from the rose's stem.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

He wondered if his life was draining away like that.

The link pulled insistently. He has no business sitting there like that. There were youma to be fought, heroines to be saved, roses to be thrown, and battles to be won.

He closed his eyes, briefly concentrating before his body was encased in a heavy tuxedo and his blue eyes open, revealing a reluctant determination. He took a moment to detach the weighty cape from his back and throw the stuffy top-hat onto his bed; it was warm out tonight. He felt a flash of pain from her side of the link and knew there was no more time to be had.

His blue-black hair disheveled from what little sleep he had managed to achieve, be it restful or no, he leapt from his balcony with a last longing look at his bed.

Tuxedo Kamen had work to do.

And she was waiting for him.


	2. Chapter 1

See my bio for disclaimer.

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It was ugly.

This was not a surprise to anyone. They were always ugly. But tonight's monster was particularly grotesque. Best compared to a giant Praying Mantis, it stood on two legs with almost-arms reaching out, clawed, trying to grasp its enemy, to devour it. Its skin was an odd mix of brown and green. Its eyes, a milky white, were awash with menace. Acid dripped from its mouth, melting the grass beneath it. Its antennae crackled with electricity, and a strange, terrifying gurgle escaped its mouth as it contemplated the heroine who stood on two shaky legs before him.

Sailor Moon looked to her left where Mercury laid unconscious, the screen of her Mercury computer flickering faintly, still trying to find the youma's weakness, despite its mistress being unable to read it. The youma had attacked Mercury viciously. Water and electricity were a deadly mix.

Mars laid nearby, also unconscious. Her black hair spread around her, sticky with blood, as a cut on her forehead dripped and glued the strands together. Her legs appeared burned, but somehow were not blackened. The overgrown bug had tried to have her for its next meal, but a well-timed fireball may have saved Mars's life… if it hadn't spat acid on her, making her pass out from the pain.

Jupiter and Venus were to her right.

Lightning had warred with lightning, and its mistress had lost. Jupiter eyes were open, but had a glazed look to them. She blinked, ever so slowly. It was the only sign of life she showed. Her ponytail was coming undone, and electricity still crackled over her body. No one would have dared to touch her.

Venus was the last to fall. The youma had released a flying ball of acid in Sailor Moon's direction. Venus had cried out, her voice cracking, as she dove for Sailor Moon and pushed her out of the way. The acid had hit her instead. Venus screamed in agony before she too fell unconscious.

So it was down to her, Sailor Moon, once again. Her comrades-in-arms, her friends, her sisters had fallen. It was her fault. _It was her fault._ She had wasted time, squabbling with Mars, tripping over her feet, and waiting for Mercury to tell her what to do.

Her gaze hardened, as she stared at the beast before her. There would be no more pretty speeches. Her hand, trembling with exhaustion once again, reached for her forehead and clamped down on the tiara that resided there.

"Moon." Her voice reverberated strangely. Hate was in that syllable. Hate for the beast, for what he had done to her friends, for the destiny that had been thrust upon her, despite her unwillingness.

"Tiara." She pivoted on the toes of her boots, executing a graceful spin that she would have found impossible under other circumstances.

"Action!" The tiara flew, a whirling discus of light and energy, towards its target. The youma screamed in agony as it perished, but it would not let its enemy receive the last word. It released a ball fused with both of its powers. It spun ever closer, dripping with acid and crackling with lightning.

Sailor Moon froze. She knew she should run, knew that she'd be leaving behind a family that loved her, but she was so _tired _all the time. What would it be like, she wondered, to never have to fight another battle, to never worry about how little sleep she was getting, to never have to suffer through nightmares of death and destruction, blood and gore, fear and pain, ever again?

The ball was getting closer. Too close to run from. Sailor Moon closed her eyes, accepting it. She felt the heat of electricity on her skin, felt her hair rise in response to its proximity.

…And then she felt a velvet warmth, cocooning her in safety. Startled, she opened her eyes to meet the furious gaze of Tuxedo Kamen.

"Tuxedo Kamen-sama," she breathed.

He didn't utter a word, though his jaw noticeably tightened. Reaching the lake, he set her down and stood back.

Sailor Moon felt something there, almost tangible but not quite. In the corner of her eye, she thought she saw _something_-- a string maybe?—glimmering silver and gold. She turned to look at it, but it must never have been there, for it disappeared almost instantly.

Tuxedo Kamen took this time to study her. Her hair was out of its customary buns. Bruised circles marred her porcelain skin beneath her eyes, and she looked frail, more so than usual. Acid had burned a few small holes through the skirt of her fuku, lightning had left burns on her, and she looked thoroughly bruised and battered.

But none of that worried him so much as what he had seen on her face only moments ago.

Acceptance. Total and utter acceptance. She could have—_would have_, he knew—died. She hadn't bothered to move out of the way. She would have left the world defenseless. She would have left _him._ And he didn't want to think about how much that scared him.

So he lashed out. "What. Were. You. _Thinking!"_ he roared.

She flinched. His every word was like the strike of a whip.

"You could have been killed!" he ranted, pacing back and forth, hands running through his messy hair. It was black, a blue-black, like Mamoru's, she noted, swaying on her feet.

"I want to protect you, but you have to start protecting _yourself!"_ he entreated her, coming to a stop in front of her, his hands on her shoulders, looking earnestly into her eyes.

She stared hopelessly back at the white mask. She didn't know how to reply.

"You're dressed differently tonight," she said absently, nervously twirling her earring between her fingers.

His eyes narrowed, following the movement. "What, the cape and hat? I left them at home. It's too hot out tonight."

She made a noncommittal noise.

"I need you to take care of yourself," he begged softly, getting back to the topic, not fooled by her attempt at a subject change.

"And what about you?" she asked.

He was startled. "What about me?"

"I know why you're trying so hard to get me to take care of myself. You felt what I felt, didn't you?"

"How did you--"

"The bond doesn't just run one way." She hesitated, feeling vulnerable, feeling that she was about to give up the last bit of control she held over her life. But if he'd agree… "When we're transformed, I feel what you feel, just like you feel what I feel. So I know--" her breath hitched in her throat "—I know that you've been feeling just as drained, just as tired, just as _sick_ of what we've been forced into as I have."

His gaze grew heated again. "But I wouldn't have just _stood_ there, waiting for death!"

"Wouldn't you?"

"No!" he said vehemently. "I can't deny that what you've said is true. I _am_ tired of the never-ending battles, and the constant lack of sleep. But I wouldn't die. I know that you need me to save you. You need me. And that's enough of a reason to keep living for now."

Her voice broke. "But I want you to have _more!"_

"Why?"

"Because… because… because when I feel you empty it makes me feel empty. I want you to be _full_." She put her hand over his heart. "And I want to know it."

There was a silence before she spoke again.

"I want your promise."

"Then I need yours. I need to know that you're alright, that you'll at least try. I need you as you need me. We protect each other."

"My promise? You have it. You have whatever you wish of me."

A tense pause.

"And you have all of me."

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Tuxedo Kamen retreated back to the treetops, his heart a bit lighter. He would try. So would she. He trusted her to keep her word, but that wouldn't stop him from keeping an eye on her. The petite girl was too clumsy for her own good. So he waited in the treetops, watching as she made her way back to her friends.

She reached them. Checking each one, she breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that though all were unconscious, they were alive. She looked around, obviously sensing him. He reached for the part of him that was Mamoru, tried to distance himself from his hero persona, to become mostly Mamoru again, but to still retain his powers. It was difficult to maintain the wall. His two personas were so closely intertwined.

She relaxed, not feeling him anymore. His eyes narrowed in suspicion, dropping the wall. What was she--?

Sailor Moon took a deep breath and _reached _inside herself for the power she'd left to lie there, safe from prying eyes. The Senshi's bodies bucked and glowed with a white light, the same white light that Sailor Moon was giving off.

He swore. The little fool! She was depleting her own reserves to heal her friends. And she was already so exhausted…

Healed, the Senshi began to stir. Sailor Moon began to sway on her feet.

Tuxedo Kamen swore again. Leaping from the tree, he scooped her into his arms.

"Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" she asked, disoriented. "I'm so tired."

His only response was an incensed glare.

Oh. He was angry. Never mind though. She knew he wouldn't hurt her. She gave a little sigh and succumbed to the darkness that was encroaching on her vision. She felt safer here than anywhere else.

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Tuxedo Kamen looked at the precious bundle in his arms. He felt alive, more so than usual, with her there, despite the fact that he worried about her. He knew that she couldn't _always_ be as depressed as he felt her at the battles. The bond worked for the most part only when both of them were transformed, but when she felt a particular instance of strong emotion, even as Mamoru, he felt it. He'd felt strong flashes of joy, for years, he'd been able to feel it. Of course at the time, he'd had no idea why he suddenly felt so happy, but nevertheless…

Sailor Venus stirred and looked up to see her leader, apparently unconscious, held in the arms of… him. Her breath caught in her throat. "Sailor Moon?" she asked—no, begged—shakily. There was no answer. Tuxedo Kamen looked at her coolly for a moment before leaping away, Sailor Moon still clutched in his arms.

Sailor Venus screamed in outrage. "Matte! No!" She yelled hoarsely, desperately. Her fingers fumbled trying, failing to create her Love-Me Chain. Too late. She was too late. Sailor Moon was gone.

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A silent shadow, he leapt form treetop to building. Golden hair snaked around him, encasing him in yellow silk. It draped over his arms, flew behind him as he made another leap. He wasn't sure where was running, or who he was running from. All he was certain of was that it was his duty to protect the girl who slumbered peacefully in his arms.

He paused on a rooftop to brush a few tangled strands from her lips. They were pink, and half-open. A little snore escaped her as she turned into his warmth.

His mouth quirked into a half-grin, before he began to ponder again. He needed to find someplace for her to rest undisturbed. It would be daylight soon, and he was sure that she had school to get to, as did he.

A faint light peeked over the horizon. Scratch that. It _was_ daylight. He pulled a watch from his tuxedo's pocket. Five A.M. She was resting so peacefully, right here in his arms. Surely, if they both rested for one hour, right here on this rooftop, the world would let them remain undisturbed?

He set his watch for six o'clock, and settled in. The fading moon glimmered in a sky that was streaked with yellows and oranges. It would watch over them for now.

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Surprisingly, the faint beeping woke Sailor Moon first. She stirred in her savior's arms, waking to see the sky a pale blue above her. That, couple with the fact that she felt more rested and relaxed than she had in a while, was enough to make her smile thankfully. There had been no nightmares last night.

She turned to her hero and shook him gently. "Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" she questioned softly. "Something's beeping. And it's not my communicator."

He groaned, bringing his hands to his eyes to rub the sleep away from them, before opening his eyes and fixing them on hers with a questioning raise of his eyebrow. She grinned. It was so unlike the aloof masked man that she saw so often, but somehow—and she wasn't sure how she knew this—so uniquely him.

He reached out to tuck her tangled strands of hair, mussed from sleep behind her ear. "It's my watch. That means it's six A.M."

Her eyes went wide. "_Nani!_" She scrambled from his lap. "I've got to _go. _I'll be late. Sensei will fry me!" She slapped a hand to her forehead. "If mama doesn't do it first when she realizes that I haven't been home!" She turned to Tuxedo Kamen and bowed hurriedly. "Arigatou for the rescue Tuxedo Kamen. But I have to go!" She turned to leap from the building, but her hand was caught by his.

She turned to find his lips quirked into an amused smile. But his eyes were serious. "Remember your promise, Sailor Moon."

She smiled gently. "Hai, I remember. And you remember yours." With that, she flew from rooftop, landing on another, and another, and another, and another.

He watched her until his eyes could no longer spot the cape of hair that flew behind her. He rubbed a hand over his eyes and checked his watch again. 6:05. He'd better hurry if he wanted to be on time.

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Sailor Moon rushed back to her house. She hadn't been joking with Tuxedo Kamen. Mama _would_ be furious. Oh, she had to hurry. She reached her house, dashed behind a tree, and hurriedly shifted back into Usagi. Ribbons wrapped themselves around her body before she was once again clothed in her comfortable pajamas. She scrambled up the tree and grasped eagerly for her window. Almost there—_almost_.

"Usagi?" Her mother. She heard the footsteps approaching the door. _There was no more time!_ She finally grabbed the windowsill and _threw _herself inside, where she frantically buried herself under the covers, feigning sleep.

The knob turned. "Usagi? Sweetheart? You have to get up now."

Usagi snored, hoping to convince her mother that she was asleep.

Her mother sighed, and she heard her footsteps shuffle closer to the bed.

She panicked. No! Don't come closer! She'd hear Usagi's heart pounding, notice the sweat that bathed her body if she got close enough. Okay, Usagi! she thought hysterically, time for your grand acting debut! Wake up!

She turned in her bed, and opened her eyes halfway. "Hai, mama, ok. I'm up. I'm up."

Her mother smiled sternly. "See that you are. It's a quarter past."

Ikuko turned to leave the room, already anticipating the shriek that Usagi let out as she rushed around her room, grabbing her uniform out of the closet, falling over as she hopped about tugging one sock on.

Ikuko sighed. That girl. When would she ever learn?

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Usagi left the house at 6:25, making record time. Her legs pumped up and down in a frenzied run, clutching her school bag in one hand, her precious lunch in the other. A smile was on her face as she ran beneath the rising sun. It warmed her hair, and her hair caught its light, glimmering and shining.

Today was different. Today was _special_. She had _him_ on her side today. She resisted the urge to skip. It would only make her later. But, she thought as she checked her watch, she might make it on time. As long as she didn't run into—

_Crash_. Damn. She spoke too soon.

"Odango."

"Baka."

"This was your fault." They spoke simultaneously.

Both flared up. "_My_ fault?"

"You were looking at your watch."

"You had your head buried in some book."

They were in each other's faces. Somehow, they'd progressed from a cool greeting to a heated argument, screaming at each other. Usagi was still sitting on the ground, skirt spread around her around her as her neck strained upwards to give as good as she got. Mamoru leaned over her face to shout, so close that she could smell the coffee he'd gulped down that morning.

"You'd think that after fifteen years, you'd learn to _watch where you're going!"_

"You'd think that after seventeen years, you'd be able to have a _dignified _conversation!"

"I only converse normally with human beings worthy of my time, you baboon."

"If I'm a baboon, you're a baboon's backside!"

"Lazy."

"Jerk."

"Crybaby."

"Creep."

"Baboon."

"You're beginning to repeat yourself. Baka."

"Odango Ata—hey… where are your odangos?"

She grinned wickedly. "Oooo, that threw you off, did it?"

A bell rang in the distance and Usagi's eyes widened. "Noooo!" she wailed, throwing her arms in the air. "I only have five minutes left to get to class and be in my seat! Or Haruna-sensei will give me _another_ detention!"

She put her arms back down and gave Mamoru the best threatening glare that she could muster. Firmly, she poked him in the chest. "We'll settle this later, baka. I don't have time for you right now."

She strode of in the direction of her school, not failing to notice the Mamoru was dogging her steps.

"Baka!" she screeched. "I _told_ you I don't have time for this right now!"

Mamoru gave her a patronizing look. "How is it that we run into each other every day, but you _still_ haven't noticed that I go to the same school as you?"

She flushed red. "I know that. You're in my lunch period. I just thought…"

"Look, at this rate we'll both be late. I'll race you. Sundaes at the Crown on me if you win."

She looked intrigued. "Ooo, really? And what if you win?"

He threw her a cocky look, blue eyes dancing as he leisurely stretched his legs. "I hope you've got enough money to cover my sundae, Odango. I'm feeling peckish today." With that, he took off running, leaving Usagi to gape after him, before she broke into a sprint.

"You can't call me that, you baka! I'm not wearing my odangos—_buns_, I meant, _buns_—today! Do you hear me? And hey, I never agreed to that bet! I'm not paying for your stupid sundae! You cheated, you had a head start! Answer me! _Mamoruuuu_!"

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I couldn't seem to stop writing today. I'm honestly not sure how I feel about this part. Does it feel rushed? I tried to slow it down, but Kamen and Moon seemed to want the confrontation to happen sooner rather than later. I'm trying for a little more humor, and a little less angst. The angst is very fun for me to read, but when writing, it emotionally drains me.

To those of you who reviewed, thank you. You have no idea how much it made my day.

Next time! Minako-chan the Mighty! Rei-chan the Red! Motoki-san the Moron! Makoto-chan the Merciful! Ami-chan the Arrogant! Mamoru-san the Macho! Usagi-chan the Unique!

All that and a bag of chips… literally.


	3. Chapter 2

Lord, I'm tired. I've been writing this chapter since about 11:30 this morning, and it's now… checks watch 11:30 the next morning. Thanks go to Nimbirosa for her _invaluable_ input in tweaking. I'm glad you guys are enjoying this… each review I get, I swear it warms my heart.

See my bio for a disclaimer.

And now, on with the fic!

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_**Life is Not Lost By Dying**_

_**Chapter 2**_

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She pumped her legs frantically. She had to get away. There were things after her. Monstrous things that should never have seen the light of day. Her skirt whipped around her legs as she panted, trying to find an escape route. There was none. She'd be trapped here for the rest of her days.

Trapped in a world where decimals ruled them all.

"-kino-san? Tsukino-san!"

Usagi's head flew up from her desk, a bit of sleep in the corner of her eyes. "Forty-two!" she announced loudly.

A pause echoed in the stillness of the room, before her teacher sighed. "Surprisingly Tsukino-san, that _is_ correct."

"Sugoi!" She leapt from her desk and began a frenzied jig.

"Tsukino-san!"

Usagi halted mid-jig, one foot actually raised in the air.

"Tsukino-san, while that was the correct answer, it is also the answer you always give when I've caught you off-guard. Were you or were you not sleeping, Tsukino-san?"

"Hai, sensei."

"Detention."

She sat back down in her seat, and laid her head against the desk once more, feeling the cold wood caress her warm skin. Akio-sensei wasn't such a bad guy, she knew. He wouldn't give her two detentions in one day. Therefore, she reasoned, yawning, it would be perfectly fine for her to rest… a little… longer…

At least, that's what she thought she'd do, until something boinked her on the head. She looked down at her light blue folder (covered with doodles, she'd been meaning to add a new one to it), where a note was innocently lying. She went cross-eyed staring at it, a look of disgruntlement on her face. Stupid note… disturbing her nap...

Slowly, keeping one eye on Akio-sensei at the board, she unfolded the note.

_Tough luck, ne Usagi-chan? Where did you disappear to last night after the battle? V-chan was going crazy looking for you. I don't even know if she's at school today! I'll forgive you for all the searching we did though, so long as you give me details on what went on with Kamen! Did you run your fingers through his silky hair? Share frenzied kisses in the heat of passion? Did you tell him how much you neeeeeed him? Details at lunch! Meeting at the Crown after school (or after detention in your case)._

_-Mako_

Usagi's face was a bright red. Ordinarily she'd scoff at the note, but that last question was a little too close for comfort. What would she say when the senshi asked her what happened? She'd have to come up with something believable.

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Mamoru stared at the back of his Physics teacher's head. He may have gotten _some_ sleep last night, but it certainly wasn't enough to keep him awake during a lecture that he already understood! He glowered at the teacher's back. He'd already gotten in a jibe about how Mamoru's last test hadn't been up to his usual caliber. Mamoru'd just managed to restrain himself from making a snarky comment along the lines of "Well the next time Sailor Moon needs me, I'll just send you along in my place then, shall I?" _Just _managed it.

There was no way he'd be able to get away with laying his head down on the desk after that. Perhaps he'd be able to master the art of sleeping with his eyes open?

"Chiba-san!"

Darn. Mission "Red Eye" was a no go.

"Hai, sensei?"

"Kindly explain the Planck Radiation Law to the rest of us."

Sigh. "Planck's law describes blackbody radiation, better than the Rayleigh-Jeans formula. It resolves the ultraviolet catastrophe. The equation is…"

…There truly was no rest for the weary.

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The bell rang. Lunch. Usagi's favorite subject. She hurried from her desk, scooping her folders into her arms. Maybe she'd make it there and already be eating when Makoto asked her…

"Hey."

"Drat."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." That's right, nothing. Nothing was going her way today.

"So what happened last night?"

"Oh, erm… I'd rather wait and tell everyone at once," Usagi hedged, walking towards doors that opened to the outside.

They strode across the grounds, Usagi waving to the familiar faces that she saw as her mind worked frantically. What do I say, what do I say? I can't exactly tell them that I just _stood_ there while the youma tried to _kill_ me! They'd flip! Especially Minako-chan, she thought with no little guilt. Did she really miss school today?

"Usagi!" As if called by her thoughts, Minako appeared and clutched onto her arm. "What happened last night? What did he do?" Her blue eyes were panicked, checking Usagi over for the slightest injury. "Are you alright?"

Usagi was still lost in thought. Maybe I'll just tell them that Tuxedo Kamen-sama saved me again, and then took me somewhere to talk to me about being more careful and aware during the battles, she contemplated. She gave a decisive nod, unnoticed by the others. Hai, that's what she'd do.

Makoto snorted. "'Course she's alright. All of us are fine."

Ami popped up. "Yes, and I must say that I don't understand how."

They directed questioning glances her way.

"Think about it, minna," she prodded. "One minute we're down for the count, and the next we're waking up fully healed? It doesn't make sense. The entire situation has _me_ stumped, and that's saying something."

Usagi panicked. A constant litany of they'regoingtofindoutthey'regoingtofindout was playing in her head. She had to distract them… but how?

Her salvation (and she never thought she'd think those words) came in the form of one Chiba Mamoru, jerk wad extraordinaire.

"Baka!" she cried delightedly, breaking free of the girls and bouncing over to him.

He broke off his conversation with Motoki to stare bemusedly at her. "Odango?" he questioned cautiously, looking over her head at the group of girls standing behind her. Makoto and Ami stared curiously. Minako looked… homicidal.

She beamed. "No buns today, remember?"

He looked put out and grabbed a tress of her hair gently, staring curiously at it. "What am I supposed to call you today then? Ramen head?"

She flushed angrily. "How about Usagi?"

"Hmmm," he said, putting a hand to his chin and stroking an imaginary beard there. "Nah." Mamoru shot her a wicked grin.

"Ooo, just you wait Chiba Mamoru. One day you'll be sorry!" Usagi threatened, stamping her foot into the ground angrily. As an afterthought, she reached into his bag of chips and grabbed one for herself.

"Oh, be still my beating heart," Mamoru said sarcastically, assuming a mock terrified pose, and pulling his chips behind his back to protect them from further Odango-pilfering.

"Ahem."

Usagi cringed and looked over her shoulder at Minako, who was still glaring at Mamoru.

Mamoru looked on curiously.

"Hai?" she asked guiltily, scuffing her toe into the dirt.

"Um, we were kind of talking to you Usagi," Makoto reminded her gently.

"I know, I just…" she sighed and shot a look at Mamoru. "We'll finish this later Baka-san."

He let out a long-suffering sigh. "Yes, I suppose we will. After all, you _do_ owe me a sundae."

She turned around, mouth open as if to say something, and ground out through clenched teeth, "I said, we'll finish this later."

She walked back to her circle of friends where they promptly sat down at the base of a tree and began to chatter away. Usagi stared down at her hands, apparently thinking hard for a moment before answering a question that had been asked of her.

Mamoru frowned in consternation. There was something… something about the entire scene that seemed vaguely familiar to him. He grasped at the strands of memory, but to no avail. He shook off the eerie sensation. Odango gabbed with her friends all the time. That was it.

…Wasn't it?

--------------------------------

Usagi slumped in her seat during detention. It had been a lo-ong day. The senshi had seemed to buy her story about what had happened between her and Tuxedo Kamen. All save Minako, who'd given her a searching look before nodding curtly. Usagi wondered if she knew that she was lying and felt a little guilty for it.

She fixed the clock with an unblinking stare, determined to make it bend to her will. She had better things to do than sit here. She'd already added a new doodle to her folder (and a cute one, Tuxedo Kamen as a puppy), made a little braid in her hair, and practiced balancing a pencil on her nose. Just how else was she supposed to occupy her time? She fidgeted restlessly in her seat, tucking one foot underneath her bottom, and rested her chin in the palms of her hands.

A sudden "Tsukino-san" had her almost falling from her chair, but she caught herself as she tumbled sideways.

"Hai?"

"You may go."

Usagi scrambled out of her seat, grabbed her bag and folder and flew out of the room on her way to the Crown. She wouldn't give her teacher the chance to change his mind.

---------------------------------

Usagi entered the Crown with her usual bounce, sliding onto a stool at the counter with a practiced ease.

She openly ogled Mamoru's sundae, which he was eating slowly, seeming to savor every bite.

"Mmm, Baka-san, your sundae looks goooood," she said leaning over the counter. Where was Motoki? She had to try one of those sundaes for herself.

"I'm glad you think so, Odango."

She looked at him suspiciously. He was agreeing with her? There had to be something going on here…

"You're paying for it."

_Theeeere _it was.

"I'm _what!"_

"Paying for it," he replied calmly, licking a bit of fudge off of his spoon.

She felt a bit of drool forming in the corner of her mouth at the thought of eating one of those sundaes and almost moaned. "Motoki-oniisaaaan…?" she whined.

And then Motoki appeared, a godsend wearing an apron. He calmly whapped Mamoru over the head with a dishtowel. "Stop teasing Usagi-chan, Mamoru-kun. What can I do for you?"

"'Niisan, could I have one of the sundaes that Baka-san's eating?"

"I have a name you know," Mamoru commented mildly.

"And I'll learn yours when you learn mine."

Motoki laughed. "Oh, he knows your name, Usagi-chan. It's written on his heaaaaart--" Motoki cleared his throat nervously at a vicious look from Mamoru. "What's that Unazuki? I'll be right there." He hurried off into the kitchen.

Usagi's eyes followed him, wondering at his sudden disappearance until her attention was called back to Mamoru.

"Odango." He was staring incredulously at her folder. "What the hell is that?"

She looked from her folder to him… her folder to him… and then she said slowly, "This is called a folder, Baka-san."

He shot her a glare. "I know _that,_ thank you. What have you drawn all over it?"

She contemplated her folder. "Well, this is Artemis (that's Minako's cat) doing the tango, that's Rei's head in the fire, that's Makoto as an acorn, that's--"

He cut her off by pointing out one drawing in particular. "What. Is that?"

She followed the path from his finger to her folder curiously. "Oh! That's Tuxedo Kamen-sama!"

"It's a puppy," he said flatly.

"Well, it's Tuxedo Kamen-sama _as_ a puppy."

"Puppies," he informed her archly, "are for girls. Tuxedo Kamen is a boy."

"It's a _boy_ puppy," she defended her drawing.

"You should change it."

"What do _you_ know?"

"I know that no self-respecting male would want to be a puppy! They're too--" he shuddered. "_Cute_."

She reached forward, pinching his cheek between her fingers. "Aw, but _you're_ cute, Baka-san!"

He flushed angrily. "Change the drawing."

"No! I employ creative license. I'm leaving it that way."

"Usagi no baka!"

"Rei-chan!" Usagi said happily, turning to see the Senshi behind her. "What a timely interruption!"

Rei slowly blinked her violet eyes at her. "What happened last night? What'd Tu—"

Ami raised a delicate foot and stepped on Rei's foot. Hard.

Rei's face turned red, though whether it was from embarrassment or pain was anyone's guess. "What time did you go to sleep last night?" she enunciated carefully.

"Oh, not too late. Oniisan! Where's that sundae?"

"God Odango, you're such a pig. Give your body some time to digest _my_ chips, why don't you?"

"Well you were irritating me Baka. I felt it was my right to eat some of your foo--"

Usagi cut off mid-sentence, staring blankly in front of her. Her pupils dilated and her hands clenched into fists at her sides as her breathing grew shallow.

Her friends stared worriedly at her, and Mamoru looked at her with no little concern.

"Odango? Odango?"

And then quietly, "…Usagi?"

She snapped back to reality and, panting, her eyes locked with his. She stared at him blindly, a wild and desperate gaze that made his heart break for her. He reached out for her, not certain of what he was doing, but knowing that something was wrong and that it was someone's—_his_—job to fix whatever it was.

A soft pink light broke the spell, and Usagi fell from her trance. She took a step backwards, distancing herself from whatever it was that had just happened. She glanced down at her brooch, from which the pink light was emitting.

…And then she fled, her friends following in her wake.

-----------------------------------

"I have no idea why the brooch blinked like that guys. Maybe it's malfunctioning? Ami-chan, you're the brains of the group, what do you think?

"I don't know, Usagi-chan, I—hold it."

They turned to look curiously at her. The mercury computer was clutched in her palm, and she was trying desperately to muffle the piercing beeps that were escaping it.

"Youma," she gritted out. "Tokyo Bowling. Let's find an alley and get going."

Usagi followed the rest of them into a back alley, and ripped the brooch from her chest. She flung her hand in the air, heard her friends' voices cry out their transformation phrases, and closed her eyes against the tears that threatened to burst from her carefully constructed dams.

"Moon. Prism. Power."

The cycle began anew as she completed her henshin, struck a confident pose, and took off running for the bowling alley.

---------------------------

Back in the Crown, Mamoru stiffened. His coffee mug went crashing to the floor with a resounding crash. Glass broke, shattered into a million pieces across the tile, as Mamoru leaned forward, clutching his head in one hand, thrusting the other into his pocket to hide the blood that gushed from an open wound one of his own roses had inflicted.

He heard footsteps, running towards him. Motoki.

"Mamoru? Mamoru, what's wrong?"

He struggled, desperately trying to control his breathing, control the transformation. Motoki mustn't suspect. He looked up at Motoki, his smile strained. "I'm fine," he said hoarsely. "Just lost my grip on the mug for a second. Really, Motoki, you worry too much."

"Listen," he said, grunting as he eased himself off his stool. "I left my wallet at home. Is it ok if I pay you in school tomorrow?"

"Sure," Motoki said, green eyes worried as he stared at his friend.

Mamoru left the arcade to transform, not looking back, walking quickly, but restraining himself from running. Hold on, he thought. _Hold on._

Motoki's eyes had fixed themselves to a seemingly innocent red splotch on his white tile. His alarmed eyes shot to the doors, where his best friend had just exited.

Blood.

--------------------------------

The Sailor Senshi burst through the doors of the Tokyo Bowling Alley.

"Where's the youma?" Sailor Jupiter panted.

They received some curious looks. Murmurs echoed around the bowling alley. "Youma? What are they talking about? I didn't see any youma."

Mars gesticulated. "You know, youma! Big, scary monsters, usually with fangs, steal your energy, knock you out?"

A bowler in lane twelve raised his hand. "I've been feeling a little tired," he offered.

Someone in lane ten yelled out, "Hey Sailor Moon, where are your odangos?"

"Would you care to repeat that?" she growled, hand twitching as it made its way to her tiara. She steamed. "They. Are. Called. _Buns_!"

Sailor Venus put a finger to her chin, blue eyes thoughtful. "Maybe we'd better leave. There doesn't seem to be anything going on here."

"Iie!" squeaked a small voice. "Face me, senshi, for I am your foe!"

They fell into defensive positions, looking around for the source of the voice.

Finally, "I'm down here," it squeaked impatiently.

And they looked down… to be met with the sight of a bowling pin, with hands (When did bowling pins get hands? Sailor Moon wondered) on its hips.

They turned as one to look at Sailor Mercury, who was typing away at the her computer, and looked up at them with an apologetic glance. "I'm afraid so, minna."

"They're kidding right?" Mars questioned.

"That's almost insulting," said Venus.

Sailor Moon, on the other hand, turned to Jupiter, a questioning expression on her face as she tucked the Moon Wand away.

"Jupiter-chan?"

"Hai?"

"Squish him."

Jupiter stepped forward with a feral grin.

-------------------------------

Tuxedo Kamen followed the link as though his life depended on it. Funny though, he thought, hopping down from a rooftop. She doesn't seem scared this time. There had been anticipation earlier, and yes, a bit of dread, but now…

He burst through the backdoors of the bowling alley, cane extended in front of him and four roses clutched between the fingers in his outstretched hand.

He'd been expecting mayhem. Panic. Chaos. Surprisingly though, he was met with a scene of relative calm.

He tapped a nearby bowler in lane twelve and cleared his throat. "Um, excuse me sir, where's the--"

"—youma?"

Tuxedo Kamen blinked. "Well yes, I--"

"—Lane one."

"What?"

"The senshi already took care of it. Wimpy little thing."

Tuxedo Kamen started towards lane one, only to be held up by an asinine bowler in lane ten.

"Sailor Moon's hair was out of her odangos," he told him.

Tuxedo Kamen's eyes narrowed. It was an uncomfortable reminder of Usagi. "They're called buns," he said coolly, and strode off to make sure that the situation was indeed under control.

He found the group of girls huddled around… he blinked. Was that a _bowling pin_ that Jupiter was beating into submission?

The bowling pin moaned and cried out, "No more! No more! End my miserable existence," he squeaked.

Tuxedo Kamen stood next to the giggling Sailor Moon and stared incredulously at the pin.

Sensing him, she turned and smiled brightly at him. "Hi, Tuxedo Kamen-sama!"

"Hi yourself," he said smiling quietly. "Do you have a minute?"

"Oh sure," she said. "Just one minute."

She stifled her giggles and turned to face the bowling pin once more. "For distracting these people from their games of bowling, Sailor Moon will not forgive you!" She removed the tiara from her head and stopped. "Do I have to kill him? He's kind of cute."

"Try healing him," Mercury suggested. "Maybe he'll just turn back into a bowling pin."

She put the tiara back on her forehead, and took the Moon Wand from her sub-space pocket. She closed her eyes, concentrating intently. "Moon Healing. Activation!" she cried, tongue sticking out of her mouth as she carefully aimed at the bowling pin.

A great crash made them turn around and look over at lane ten. "Oh for the love of—couldn't you people take it somewhere else? Your screaming just made me throw the ball onto the other lane!"

Sailor Moon shook her fist at him as she hollered, "You're already on my bad list, pal, wanna make it worse?"

Meekly, he turned back around, and resumed bowling. She watched him with a satisfied smirk. Tuxedo Kamen watched her, an amused smile playing about his lips. He prodded her gently, and she turned those blue orbs on him.

"How about that chat?" he asked.

They strode in the direction of lane twelve, making their way to the back doors. He held the door open for her and giggling, she exited, taking his arm as she went. They hopped up onto the roof, where they could hope for a little more privacy than they'd be able to wrangle inside a crowded bowling alley.

"You look like you're feeling better today," he commented.

She nodded. "Yeah. I am." She played with the ends of her hair, and his eyes followed the movement. "It helps, you know? To know that someone's on your side?"

He nodded, understanding. He did know. "It's helped me too. I had a pretty good day today."

"Ever since I began this whole superhero thing," she continued, "I've felt like the world was against me, out to get me. My fears aren't entirely unfounded--there's a whole kingdom somewhere that's got a pretty hefty price on my head. But I have to… not necessarily get over it, the world would be in pretty bad shape if I did… but look to the people who care about me to realize why I bother."

"Right." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "And you know that you can--"

She smiled at him. "I know."

"Sailor Moon? Sailor Moon?" Venus's voice came from below.

Tuxedo Kamen smiled wryly at Sailor Moon for a moment. "Your minder awaits."

She huffed. "Wish she'd wait a bit longer. Sayonara, Tuxedo Kamen-sama." This as she hopped off the roof.

He listened for a moment, unable to help himself. "Yes V-chan, I'm _fine._ Tuxedo Kamen-sama wouldn't hurt me; I told you I trust him." His lips curved into a smile at that.

"Go ahead inside, Sailor Moon, I'll be there in a minute."

Within moments, Sailor Venus had hopped up onto the roof to confront him.

He took a moment to study her. She was very similar in coloring to her leader, but there was something different, something hardened, in her eyes that spoke of horrors others couldn't imagine. She was battle-hardened, he realized, more so than the rest of the Senshi. And he wondered what she knew that they didn't.

"What were you talking to Sailor Moon about?" she demanded.

He arched an eyebrow. "I don't believe that's any of your concern."

"If it concerns Sailor Moon, then it concerns me."

"But not the rest of the Senshi?"

She gritted her teeth. "I want to know what you spoke about."

He contemplated her for a moment. "You don't trust me, do you?"

There was a tense pause. "No. I don't."

"Your leader does," he pointed out.

"I have my own reasons."

"And what might those be?"

"Just stay away from her, alright?"

"Sailor Moon? You must have realized by now that I protect her? What possible reason could I have to stay away from her?"

She looked at him incredulously. "You don't know?" Agitated, she ran a hand through her blonde hair. "Unbelievable. He hasn't figured it out." She fixed him with a piercing stare. "Just do it, understand?" And she leapt from the roof, leaving Tuxedo Kamen to wonder once again just what knowledge Sailor Venus held.

-----------------------------------

Death. They were dying all around her and she was powerless to stop it. She gagged, paralyzed where she stood as the metallic scent of blood invaded her nostrils. _Run!_ something told her. _You have to run!_ But how could she? Her friends were falling around her, one by one, slaughtered mercilessly.

_Run!_ the voice insisted. _Please run!_ She fell to her knees, choking on that feeling of helplessness, strangled by invisible hands as she gasped for air.

Her white ballgown was splattered with blood, torn in places by her frantic flight away from the guards who had locked her inside her room to keep her safe. Where was he? Among the dead? No… surely she'd have felt that.

She struggled to her feet. He wasn't dead. He wasn't. She fled the broken ballroom, its mangled bodies and smears of blood, halting to mourn for a moment when she came to Venus's body, identifiable only by her orange fuku. She'd fallen defending her.

She pressed two fingers to her lips and laid them on Venus's forehead. "Sleep well my friend. May you find peace in the next world."

She continued on, reaching the palace doors and stepping outside. A hand found its way to her mouth as she gasped in horror.

It was a massacre.

Her eyes searched out the only thing that mattered to her, the only thing she had left. Where…?

A specter dove at her, fangs bared, claws slicing through the air. She screamed, and throwing her hands in front of her face, instinctively erected a shield. She stared hopelessly at it. It wouldn't hold much longer.

"Get back in the palace!" a voice roared nearby.

She turned in relief. "You're alive!"

"_Please," _he begged her. "Please find somewhere safe."

"I can't," she sobbed. "You don't understand. They're all dead in there. They've been slaughtered."

Her shield chose that moment to fall. Whirling, she stared in horror as the monster dove at her once again.

She closed her eyes, sure that her time was upon her. Oh god, she could feel its hot breath on her face.

A roar of denial. "_Serenity!"_

She opened her eyes to see him stagger backwards. He'd slain the youma, but at what cost?

His body, the one that had held her so many nights, the one that she'd shared so many dances with, fell backwards into her.

Lightly, she touched his cheek. "Please open your eyes," she begged.

No response.

She flailed at him, his body, his corpse, landing weak punches on his armor, hoping that something, _anything_, would wake up him, let him look at her again. "Wake _up!_ You can't _do_ this to me! _Please,"_ her voice broke.

He didn't answer.

She panted, staring wild-eyed and hopeless at his body. Gently, she grasped the sword at his side, and brushed the fringe from his eyes gently.

"I love you," she whispered softly.

And then she plunged the sword into her heart.

-----------------------------

Usagi woke, gasping, trying to escape her blankets. She felt like a million, warm, sweaty hands, slick with blood were grasping at her.

Finally, she escaped, and looked down at her hands in disbelief. Her breathing was shallow.

Had she really _done_ that? It was her fault. He was dead because of _her_. He died defending _her_.

One harsh sob escaped her, before she bit her lip to keep from awakening Luna. She cried softly into her hands. "_Endymion…" _she whispered.

------------------------------

In apartment buildings two miles away, Mamoru woke with a startled gasp. Well, he thought, trying to catch his breath, that was a new one.

He cast a glance at his clock. Five in the morning again. He might as well get up. He had a lot to think about.

Such as why Sailor Venus knew something he didn't. Why his dreams had shifted so suddenly from the princess asking him to retrieve the Crystal to a horrible nightmare. Why he could feel Sailor Moon's feelings of guilt and heartbreak even though he _knew_ she wasn't transformed.

…And just _what_ had happened to the Odango and her brooch before he'd felt Sailor Moon transform?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bites lip nervously So, what did you think? It's the longest chapter I've written so far, twice as long as chapter one. Like I said, Nimbirosa was a great deal of help. She stopped me from making one part too fluffy, and I think the fic's better for it. And, she gave me the line: "She reached forward, pinching his cheek between her fingers. "Aw, but _you're_ cute, Baka-san!"

She also suggested I have Sailor Moon threatened "Bowler in Lane Ten…" which I must say I enjoyed.

looks pitiful Your reviews are my only payment. Pwease? Puppy eyes


	4. Chapter 3

_Well, hi there, everyone! Long time, no see/Looks nervous/ Gomen, I know this took forever. I've got excuses, trust me, but none of them are good ones… I had writer's block… school… blah, like I said, no good excuses._

_See my profile for a disclaimer._

_This is dedicated to my imouto/beta Arashi-chan! She helped me sooooo much, even called me to harass me about writing. /giggles/ A lot of little things you see in here were done under her advisement. In fact, the last two paragraphs are all her. She and Wren Truesong are **amazing **writers, and I demand that you check out their fics, written under the pen name Arashinobara Jikkankakyoku. Those fics… will make your life better._

_But now, on with **my **fic!_

-------------------------------

Life is Not Lost By Dying

By Lina

Chapter 3

-------------------------------

A bad mood, that's what this was. A horribly foul, get-out-of-my-way-before-I-breathe-fire-on-you, black-as-the-vortex-of-a-black-hole mood. Children dove for their mothers. Puppies ran away yipping. Tsukino Usagi stomped down the sidewalks of Tokyo wearing a scowl that looked somehow out of place on her normally cheery face as she grumbled under her breath.

"What's wrong Usagi?" she mimicked her mother in a high-pitched voice. "Nothing. Just that a certain brother who is the _scum of the earth_ stole my last pickle. And I was _saving _that pickle for a day like today."

Still griping, she made her way to the Crown, where the automatic doors swung open to greet her.

"Woah," said Mamoru, staring aghast at her. "What happened to you Odango?"

But Usagi did not hear Mamoru's voice. Her eyes were focused only on the object clutched in his hand.

"Baka-san!" she said. "Have I told you lately that you're my favorite person in the whooooole wide world?"

He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. "What are you up to Odango?"

She blinked at him innocently. "Me? Up to something? Ah, Baka-san, how you wound me with your words." She swooned backwards, as if preparing to fall into a faint. Then, she suddenly bounced back up. "Whatcha eatin' Baka-san?"

"A pickle." _Munch. Munch. Munch._

Her eyes grew wide. "Are you really gonna eat the whooole thing?"

_Munch._ "Yep."

She widened her eyes as they filled with tears. Eyes glimmering, she asked him, "Don't you wanna shaaaare?"

A pause. "Not particularly." _Munch. Munch._

Usagi stopped playing games. "Where. Did you get. That pickle?"

"Motoki-kun. He seddit's the last one." The dark-haired junior drawled around the tidbit in question, giving the younger blonde an arrogant smile as he did so.

She twitched. "The last one, you say…? Gimme it."

He paused again, turning to cast a side-long glance at her. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did you _want_ this pickle?"

"Yes. I did."

"Ooooh." He then proceeded to open his mouth - very slowly - and close it - very slowly.

_Munch. Munch. Munch._

Usagi could take it no longer. She dove at Mamoru, prompting a surprised "_eep!"_ to escape him. She lunged for the pickle as Mamoru scrambled backwards, trying to get away from the obviously clinically insane blonde.

"Odango," he gasped, trying to dance away from her outreached hands. "What are you _doing?"_

"I told you, baka," she snapped, grabbing for the pickle. Whoops no, that was a fistful of his hair. With a cry of victory, she grasped the pickle in her hands and a small game of Tug-of-War ensued.

"Give me that."

"No. Get your own damn pickle."

"_Language,_ Baka-san."

With a savage whoop, Usagi tugged the pickle free and brought it greedily to her lips. Mamoru let go of it, fearing the loss of his fingers. The Odango was obviously hungry, he reasoned. And he who stood between her and her food took his life into his own hands. Therefore, there was no reason he should feel ashamed of stepping aside. He was no less _manly_ for it. Any sane man would have done the same in his position.

He chanced a glance at her, to see her still chomping hungrily on the pickle. He shuddered. Any sane man, indeed…

"So, Baka-san," Usagi said, licking her fingers clean of juice. "What's new with you?"

He eyed her warily. "Odango, ordinarily by now you'd be screaming insults at me. I think knowing what's new with you would be a far more interesting conversation. Hyped on caffeine again?"

She glowered at him. "Baka. I'm trying to be _nice_ to you."

"Well what prompted this change of heart?"

"Nothiiiing," she said, tracing the edge of the counter with her finger. "I'm just boooored. 'Niisan's not here. The girls haven't gotten here yet. And you're here, so…"

"Nice to know I'm just a secondhand choice of entertainment for you, Odango."

She whapped the back of his head. "Why can't you be nice for a change, huh?"

"Odango, since when have we _ever_ been nice to each other?"

"Since now!" She stomped a foot impatiently. Why didn't he _get_ it?

"So what? You want to be friends?" He batted his lashes. "Ohmigosh, Usagi-chan, I just can't wait to watch chick flicks and paint each other's nails and stay up allllll night talking!" he chirped in a mock falsetto. He smirked and spoke in his normal voice, which was about three octaves lower. "Somehow, Odango, I don't think so."

"Gah! You're impossible."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

She snorted inelegantly. "Right, baka. And you've accused _me_ of being five? Jeez, you _try_ to have a civil conversation with someone…" She settled herself onto a stool.

"Fine, fine, I'll play nice. Nothing's new with me, really. I have to get to work later today, which I'm not really looking forward to."

Usagi's cocked her head curiously. "You have a job? What do you do?"

Mamoru narrowed his eyes. "There's _no way_ I'm telling you."

"Oh come on, Baka-san. What do you think will happen if you tell me where you work?"

Flatly, he responded, "You'll stalk me."

She snorted. "Right. Because I'm just _so _attracted to you." She poked him. "C'mon, just tell me."

His gaze slid towards her reluctantly. "You have to promise not to laugh."

Usagi forced her eyes to go large and limpid as she stared at him innocently. "Who, me? Laugh? I would never," she swore.

He looked at her doubtfully until she amended her statement.

"I'll try really, really hard."

He sighed. He supposed it was the best he'd get. "Iworkatthephotographyplaceinthemall," he muttered very quickly.

She blinked. "You what?"

"I work. At the photography place. In the mall."

"No you don't."

"How would you know?"

"I went with Naru to bring her little cousin there one time. The only people who work there are the photographer, and… the… clown…" Her voice trailed off. "Oh, Baka-san, no…"

"Yes," he said glumly, his head drooping until his forelocks brushed the rim of his coffee cup.

Usagi's lips twitched as she tried to rein in her laughter. "It's not that bad, Baka-san," she said in a strangled voice, patting him on the back with a shaky hand.

Mamoru looked at Usagi. Her face was turning purple as she tried to hold it in. He sighed dejectedly. It would be cruel to let her suffocate just because of his job. "Go ahead. Laugh."

"Really?" she squeaked.

"Ye--"

"Ahahahaha!" she roared with laughter, unable to contain it any longer. Abruptly, she sobered. "It's really not that bad."

"Your turn."

"My what?"

"Your turn. Tell me something embarrassing about you."

She thought for awhile. "Ok, I've got it. When I was about nine, we went to go visit my Nanny Tsukino. She's this really prim and proper old lady, and Daddy was really nervous that I'd do something wrong in front of her. So he and Mama dressed me up in this fancy-shmancy dress, complete with _pantyhose--"_ she wrinkled her nose "—and dress shoes. I didn't really mind dressing up or anything, but once we got there, Nanny Tsukino kept saying stuff like 'A child should be seen and not heard.' And I just got all fidgety, y'know? She made me really uncomfortable, 'specially since I was having a hard time keeping my mouth shut, and I was determined to make a better impression on her than I had last time (I was five, and used a couple words that I'd heard some bigger kids use). Finally, I had to get away because I knew that I'd do something to embarrass myself otherwise. So I climbed this big oak tree in the neighborhood park--"

Mamoru cut her off, a grin on his face. "—You. Climbed an oak tree?"

She glared at him. "You want to heard this story or not?"

He waved a hand at her, indicating that she should continue.

"_Anyway, _I climbed the oak tree. And I was so well-hidden that no one found me for a while. In fact, I drifted off a bit. I didn't fall asleep or anything, but I was distracted by a few daydreams. Before I knew it, I heard people calling my name, looking for me! 'Usaaaaagiiii! Where arrre youuu?' I leaned over the branch to see who it was." She slapped a hand to her forehead in agonized remembrance. "I swear she had the whole neighborhood out there. Her neighbors, their kids, someone's gardener, a couple pool guys, my parents, my little brother, and her. I leaned a _little_ further out, and went tumbling to the ground, screaming the whole way. 'Course, I landed in an awkward position, and my dress had flipped up, showing my underwear for the world to see. And then, my grandmother, my _prim and proper grandmother_ says 'Hmm. 'Beauty and the Beast.' I would have pegged you as more of a 'The Little Mermaid' type.'"

Mamoru laughed loudly, enjoying the horrified expression on Usagi's face as much as the story itself.

She pouted. "Go ahead. Laugh at my pain."

"Got another one?"

"Nuh-uh. If you want another one of my most embarrassing moments you'll have to go first."

The arcade door chimed, heralding the entrance of Ami, Rei, Makoto, and Minako. Minako stared coldly at Mamoru, as he looked back at her curiously. What was _with_ that girl? She seemed to really _hate _him, even though he'd talked to her only about four times (at the most).

"Usagi," said Ami. "We planned a special study group for today, remember."

Usagi's shoulders drooped. "Yeah, I remember. We'll finish this conversation another time, 'kay Mamoru-baka?" She slid off of her stool and straightened her pink sundress.

Mamoru looked at her curiously, and remarked slowly, curiously. "You're always running out of here in a hurry, Odango. Like yesterday. What's more important than your sundaes?"

Usagi's eyes widened fractionally. "Yesterday? I have no idea what you're talking about, Baka-san."

"Yes you do. That weird brooch of yours started that flashy thing. Then you got all stiff and ran out of here." He leaned closer to her. "Your brooch may not be flashing now, Odango, but I recognize an uncomfortable person when I see one."

"I—I have to go." She turned hurriedly to leave, but found her hand caught in a careful grip.

"Usagi," he said quietly, staring at the top of her bowed head. _Why wouldn't she even look at him? _ "If there's something you don't want to do--" This as he stared at the proud group of girls before him. Something in their stances was so _familiar._ He had an eerie feeling of déjà vu there, holding Usagi's hand, staring at that group that was waiting for her. She didn't _want_ to go, he knew. She hadn't wanted to go before. But there was something that compelled her to abandon everything she'd been doing. "You don't _have_ to do it," he tried.

Her head jerked up, eyes searching his for a clue. _Does he know? _She wondered. _No. _Curiosity was there, worry maybe, but nothing more. A sad, but determined look entered her eyes, and she gently tugged her hand free. "Yes," she said softly, turning her back on him and striding towards the doors. She turned to face him, a pleading look on her face. _Leave it alone_. "I do."

---------------------------------------------------

They walked sedately to the Shrine, hips swaying, hands swinging lazily at their sides. Calm looks resided on their faces as they carried on a conversation. If asked later, none of them would be able to recall what they had talked about. They had to appear normal, fly under everyone's radar unnoticed. It wouldn't do for someone to recall a group of five girls, bearing a startling resemblance to the Senshi, always dashing about, panting, with panicked looks on their faces.

So they walked. Quietly. Uninterrupted. _We're just average teenage girls_, they seemed to say. _Go about your business. Nothing to see here._

All part of the act. They had it down to a science by now.

They arrived at the Shrine and locked themselves into a room where Rei kneeled before the Great Fire, hands folded and eyes closed. They stayed silent, and watched as beads of sweat grew on her forehead and abruptly her eyes snapped open as a growl of frustration escaped her.

"Anything?" Ami asked quietly.

"Nothing."

"Do we have anything new to talk about?" Minako wanted to know.

"Nope," Makoto sighed.

"I'm fairly happy with how you girls have been working out in your civilian guises," Luna commented. "Strengthening yourselves untransformed will lead you to be even stronger Senshi. Nevertheless, I'd like you to work on your technique as Senshi."

"Training?" Usagi's hand was already creeping towards her brooch.

"Training."

With a sigh, she flung her hand into the air. "Moon Prism Power," she said, sounding somewhat bored.

--------------------------------------

Mamoru was anything but bored. Currently engaged in a debate with Motoki over the merits of chocolate milkshakes versus black coffee, he was effectively occupied. Abruptly, his back stiffened.

"Motoki, I've got to go," he said, standing up hurriedly pulling out his wallet.

Motoki watched, noting his shaking hands as he extracted a few bills, and kept the other safely closed inside his pocket. Any suspicions he had were confirmed.

"I understand," he said quietly.

Mamoru looked at him sharply. _Does he really?_ Motoki maintained a steady gaze. _He does._ Mamoru nodded curtly and strode through the arcade doors.

_Thank you, my friend. _The words hung unsaid in the air.

---------------------------------------------------

Mamoru hurried to the scene of the battle, wondering exactly what kind of youma they were facing. He hoped it wasn't another bowling pin. That was just pitiful. He frowned as he followed the link hesitantly. He could still feel her, of course, but somehow, she was undeniably calm.

Nevertheless, he followed, as he always would, and found her crouched in the tree branches, eyes locked on a scene was playing out before her.

"Hey."

She nearly fell from the tree. He reached over before she could, and steadied her before stepping back to regard her curiously. "Where's the battle?"

"What battle?"

He blinked in surprise. "There's no battle?"

"Nope."

"Then why are you transformed?"

She looked at him strangely. "Training."

Here, he noticed that her skirt was charred. He indicated it and asked dryly, "Mars's work?"

She looked down at it. "Hai. And Jupiter-chan's."

"I see." He joined her on her branch and watched lightning war with water. He winced as Jupiter scored a particularly painful hit. "And… _why_ are you in the tree?"

"Sometimes, your survival can depend on remaining unseen until you can make your move," she stated absently.

He raised one eyebrow wryly. "I never would have guessed."

Her face grew flushed. "I kind of forgot who I was talking to." She turned her face to look at him questioningly. "What are you doing here, anyway?"

"You transformed," he said. "The link led, I followed."

She looked at him embarrassedly. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything important."

He waved a hand in dismissal of her worries, touched that she had actually gone so far to think of him and his schedule. "Nah. Just talking to a baka who thinks coffee is better than a chocolate milkshake."

She looked at him aghast. "Is he insane?"

"Just a bit."

"So, I really didn't bother you?"

He decided not to mention the pain the transformation put him through. He hoped to be able to control it better someday. "No, but seeing that there is no battle is certainly better than seeing a bowling pin being stomped on by Jupiter-san."

She giggled. "Really? I thought it was kind of funny. Really cute."

"It was pathetic."

"Well maybe a _little, _but c'mon, you know it was kawaii."

"Pitiably weak, actually. And in no way 'kawaii.'"

"Aww, you're too harsh on the little guy."

"You're too easy on him."

"Hey! I still killed him, you know!"

"After asking if you really 'had to.'"

She had no real response to that, and settled instead for sticking her tongue out at him.

He laughed and tugged one of her pigtails affectionately. "Put that away, goof."

She shook her head stubborn and spoke around her tongue. "Nuh-uh."

"We can hardly have a proper conversation like this," he pointed out.

She hummed, tongue still out, ignoring him.

"I'm not apologizing," he said. "I didn't do anything wrong."

She looked at him for the briefest moment, her lips quirking the slightest bit, and a faint hint of mirth shining suppressed in her eyes.

"Fine," he said, sighing. "I suppose I'll just leave then." And he leapt up and out of sight.

Sailor Moon's tongue retreated hastily back into her mouth. "Matte! Tuxedo Kamen-sama!"

And there he was, hanging upside down from a higher branch. "Miss me?" he asked cheekily, as his hat fell, fluttering to the ground.

"You…" she swatted at his hair.

He righted himself and extended a hand down to her to help her get up to the branch he was on.

She scrambled up and sat down next to him. "How is it," she asked curiously, swinging her legs, "that your hat falls off onto the ground when you hang upside down, but your mask manages to stay put on your face?" She scrutinized his mask, peering intently at his face. "Do you have some kind of rubber band holding it in place or something?"

He shrugged. "I guess it works the same way as your tiara." He tapped it for emphasis. "I mean, how else could a piece of metal turn into energy that can destroy creatures that not not much else can?"

"Magic."

"Exactly. The same way I make my roses, the same way you disguise your identity without a mask, the same way--" He reached up, pulled a leaf off of the branch and concentrated on it. The leaf frayed in places, splitting to form still more leaves, the veins solidifying into wood, growing, growing, until what Sailor Moon had in front of her eyes was undeniably a tiny tree. "—The same way I can do that."

She noticed a small cut on his cheek that had probably been caused by an unruly branch. He hadn't gotten around to healing it himself yet. She reached up, fingers splaying over it as she reached inside herself for a spark of the power she had wielded even before she became Sailor Moon. Gradually, blood faded, and skin mended together, leaving no sign that a cut had ever been there. "The same way I can do that."

"Yes," he said quietly, touching his cheek to find the cut gone. "Magic. Yeah, that would do it." Silently, he offered the tree too her, and she took it, clutching it to her chest.

Her lips twitched and she shot him a mischievous grin. "Thank you," she said solemnly. "It's a _kawaii_ little thing, isn't it?"

"It is _not_ kawaii."

"Ah, no worries. I'll plant it in a Styrofoam cup in my room. It'll freshen the air around my cat's litter box."

He shot her an incredulous look and shook his head in disbelief.

They were interrupted by the untimely arrival of Venus and Mars. Venus shot daggers from her eyes at Tuxedo Kamen and Mars regarded him coolly as she turned to Sailor Moon. "Sailor Moon, we're finished with training for the day. Why don't you join Jupiter and Mercury? We'll catch up later."

"No, I want to stay--"

"—It's alright, Sailor Moon," Tuxedo Kamen told her calmly. "I think Venus and Mars just want to have a chat with me."

She looked at him anxiously, worry shining in her eyes. "Are you certain?"

He shot her a tight smile, reassuring nonetheless. "I'll be fine."

She bit her lip uncertainly, but turned from the tree and leapt down.

He turned to face them, face expressionless. "You wanted to talk to me about something?"

Venus practically growled. "Did you not understand what I meant when I said to stay _away_ from Sailor Moon?"

"Perhaps it's you who needs to understand that I protect her. It is my duty. It always has been and always will be."

"You cannot see her," Mars spoke up suddenly.

He gripped his hair in frustration. "Why is it that you are so hell-bent on keeping us away from each other? You have to know that I won't hurt her."

Venus snorted. "Maybe not intentionally."

"Why are you trying so hard?"

"Because we know what will happen!" Mars burst out. "We have already seen what has happened! It must not happen _again! _I will not allow it to happen! We won't fail again!"

Venus laid a hand on her partner's shoulder. "The past will not repeat itself. We will make sure of that."

They turned to leave. "Stay away from her, Tuxedo Kamen. This is your final warning. We will see to her protection."

He seethed. "You cannot stop me. You cannot keep me away from her. If you are so all-fired powerful and protective, why have I had to interfere as many times as I have?"

Mars tore herself from Venus's grip and stormed over to Tuxedo Kamen. "Stay _away_ from her! Gods, what is so _difficult_ about that!" Flames danced at her fingertips, as she forgot to rein in her powers and lost herself in anger. "If you interfere, you will ensure that--"

"--Mars!" Venus spoke sharply. "Now is not the time. You go too far." She steered her away from him. "Stay away, Kamen. Or Sailor Moon's pardon will not be enough."

----------------------------

A bell tinkled gently as Mamoru walked once again into the Crown, mind full of what had occurred earlier. He sat down at the counter, mulling it all over.

"Coffee?" Motoki asked, wiping down the counter.

"Milkshake," Mamoru responded.

There was a pause, as Motoki set to fixing it. "Rough day?" he asked uncertainly.

Mamoru regarded him for a moment. "Interesting day." He sipped the milkshake that Motoki placed before him. "I think I made them angry."

"Who?" Motoki asked worriedly.

"Some girls."

"Oh. _Oh!"_

"Yeah." Mamoru continued sipping his milkshake, letting his eyes wander around the room. "You know, you ought to put some plants in here, maybe a couple flowers." He indicated the gap between the wall and the counter. "A nice pot of flowers there would really brighten the place up."

Motoki looked at him strangely and arched an eyebrow. "You sound like Usagi."

Mamoru's eyes widened and he waved to hands frantically, denying it. He made a sweeping motion with his hands, as though to push the notion aside. "Iie!" He cleared his throat, attempting to fix the squeaking that had just emerged. "Me? Sound like the Odango Atama? You must be kidding, Motoki." He sipped nervously at his milkshake.

Motoki shrugged. "If you say so." He finished wiping down the counter and decided that now was the best time to take his break. He whipped off his apron and pulled it over Mamoru's head, making the wide-eyed young man appear as if he was wearing a bonnet. "But it looks like _looooove_ to me."

His last words were singsonged annoyingly in the mortified upperclassman's ear. "'Cuz love makes the world go round!"

Mamoru pushed himself away from his best friend with a panicked look in his eyes and muttered something about going to the washroom to control his nerves. "If that's love," he sighed at his harried-looking reflection, "stop the world and let me get off."

--------------------------------

**The end of Chapter 3**

_Alternate scene from the Pickle scene, written by Nimbirosa (aka Arashinobara), inspired by Wren Truesong (aka Jikkankakyoku), included because it was just too funny not to use._

Usagi could take it no longer. Eyes shining with a manic light, she made a flying leap -- to land squarely on his chest and send them both crashing to the ground.

Barely sparing the wheezing Mamoru a glance, her greedy hands scrabbled desperately before snatching the half-eaten pickle from his mouth and crunching it up, lids closing in pleasure as she curled up contentedly on the dark-haired young man's chest, occasionally emitting happy _crees_ of delight.

Motoki was already laughing hysterically, fist pounding the counter as he struggled desperately to speak, hell, _breathe_! "Don't get too comfortable, Usagi-chan," he managed, insane giggles still bubbling up. "It's a rather suggestive place to be while squirming and eating a phallic object -"

Usagi licked her fingers to get the last bit of juice and settled back further, blue eyes curious. "What's a phallicwhassit?"

"Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeni -" Mamoru gasped before a cleverly thrown banana put him out of commission, Motoki waggling his eyebrows warningly, brandishing a lethal-looking eggbeater in one hand and a frying pan in the other.

"Mamoru-baka, do not corrupt our sweet Usa-chan with your dirty words," he scolded, shaking the frying pan at a wide-eyed Mamoru, "or I shall gag you with my laciest apron!"

"Anou... Motoki-kun, your aprons have _lace_?"

"Teehee... you didn't hear that."

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_Review, won't you? Pretty pleeeease?_


	5. Chapter 4

**This chapter is dedicated to… you! Whether you've reviewed, or you're just simply reading my fic, thank you. You're the reason I write.**

**See my bio for disclaimer.**

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_**Haru no Kouseki-inai Arimasu**_

_**By Natsudori Lina**_

_**Chapter 4**_

Rei and Minako entered the shrine to find Usagi waiting for them there. Ami and Makoto were nowhere to be seen. She tapped a foot impatiently as she watched them draw nearer, an angry look on her face, eyebrows scrunched together in a frown. They approached her warily, wondering what was going on.

"Usagi, what--"

She cut them off with a stiff finger jabbing sharply towards the ground. "Sit. Now," she ordered.

Exchanging wary looks, they sat. For a few moments, there was silence as Usagi stared at them stonily, cheeks flushed red with anger. Pieces from her hair had escaped from her buns and sparks of fury ignited in her eyes.

"Where are Makoto and Ami?" Rei asked.

"I sent them home. I need to have a talk with the two of you."

There was a pause as she wondered where to start.

"I want to know," she began, pacing, "what gives the two of you the idea that you've the right to order me around."

They sat in silence, not saying a word.

"You've been acting strange lately," she continued. "Both of you. And I think that you're forgetting some things. The senshi are a team. You do _not_ have the authority to order anyone around. I don't pull rank often, but Luna appointed _me _leader. You have no right to demand that I discontinue a conversation."

"It was in the middle of training--"

"That is _not_ the issue here! Hiding in a tree was my tactic for training. I wasn't ignoring the fact that we need practice. I just chose a different technique."

"Usagi-chan," Minako entreated. "We've been trying to tell you, we don't _trust_ Tuxedo Kamen. You keep talking to people who just aren't _good _for you. Do I need to bring Mamoru into it?"

"What _about_ Mamoru?"

"You've been spending an awful lot of time with him lately," Minako said.

"Newsflash: we're _friends,_" Usagi shot back.

"Since when? He's so cruel to you."

"You forget your _place_, Senshi of Venus. Mamoru is not the topic of discussion here, and even if it was, my friendship with him is none of your business," Usagi said flatly, clenching her fists so tightly in her anger that her nails were digging into her palm, leaving distinct indentations behind. "Your attitudes towards Tuxedo Kamen and myself are what we need to talk about."

"Usagi, Tuxedo Kamen has his _own_ agenda!" Rei tried.

"Are you trying to tell me that we _don't_?" she asked, a look of disbelief etched plainly over her features. "Rei, everyone has their own agenda. I fight to make sure that these things can't hurt the people who are important to me. Luna jumps into the fray to make sure that we find her princess. We don't _know_ why Tuxedo Kamen fights. And until you can tell me that he's working alongside the Dark Kingdom, I don't want to hear anymore about it."

Her anger subsided only slightly as she thought about him. "What did you talk about anyway?"

Rei and Minako looked at each other, coming to the same decision. "We'd rather not say."

She nodded curtly. "And that's your right. Just as it's his to keep his motives to himself. Still though," she muttered, almost as though she was talking to herself, "It must have been _something._ He's so _angry _at you."

Both of Minako and Rei's eyes widened. "What-- what do you mean?" Minako asked, afraid of the answer. _Selenity, no, don't let this be happening. Take pity on your followers. Don't let her say what I'm thinking, **please. **It can't have happened already._

"Huh?" Usagi turned startled eyes towards them. She seemed to have almost forgotten they were there. Hesitantly she said, "Oh, I'm… sort of connected to Tuxedo Kamen. We can feel what the other's feeling when we're transformed. When we're not, we can only feel strong emotions. The fact that I know he's angry right now is very telling. The fact that I feel it strongly, even more so. You made him _really_ angry."

During this explanation, Minako and Rei had been exchanging horrified and stricken glances. It couldn't be. The link had reasserted itself.

_They had been **too late.**_

-----------------------------------------------------

Usagi hurried towards school. This was nothing new. What _was_ new was that she was actually _hoping _to be a bit late today. She didn't really want to give the girls a chance to talk to her today before class started. So she dashed to school, lazily dodging people, bodies, signs, and buildings. She ran past an astonished Mamoru, who stared after her, slack-jawed. She hadn't crashed into him.

But she _always_ crashed into him, a little voice in his head complained bitterly. He hushed it and continued to stare after her before realizing that she was getting _away_...

After a further moment's pause, he chased after her and plucked her from the ground easily.

Usagi's legs kept pumping for a moment before she realized that the tips of her feet were now only brushing the sidewalk. Mamoru shot her a grin as she scowled at him, before moving away from the city's foot traffic.

"You know, Odango, I'm hurt. I'm beginning to think you're avoiding me. I haven't seen you since Saturday." He assumed a hurt look and grimaced theatrically. "Ah, the pain in my heart."

She whapped the back of his head.

"Ow."

"'Course I'm not avoiding you, baka. I'm avoiding the girls. Now would you mind putting me down?" she asked as she raised one imperious brow.

Indeed, as Mamoru looked down, he saw that he was still holding her up under her arms, fingers precariously close to brushing her breasts, as her feet now dangled about two inches above the ground. He blushed and hurriedly set her down. "Sorry."

She busied herself with brushing her skirt down and picking pieces of lint off of her shirt. "That's alright, Mamoru-baka." She made as if to leave, turning back in the direction she'd been running. "Anyway, I'll just be on my merry little way--"

"—Not so fast, Odango." And Usagi found herself airborne once again. She growled in frustration, glaring at him.

"Baka. You're going to make us _both_ late."

"Why are you avoiding the girls?"

She squirmed, avoiding his gaze. "We got in a fight. I don't really want to talk about it. It's not a big deal."

He paused uncomfortably. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Something about the situation made him uneasy. He didn't think that she felt as calm about the situation as she was pretending to be. He scrutinized her carefully. "Odango--"

"I'm _fine, _Mamoru-san, _really._"

"If you ever need--"

"—I appreciate that. I really do. I'm fine, but thank you," she maintained resolutely.

Finally, he set her down on the ground, accepting that for now and they started walking to school together. Usagi shifted her shoulders as she kicked a pebble down the street. Mamoru watched her, amused, out of the corner of his eye. Growing tired with the silence, Usagi reached over and poked him in the side. "We never finished that conversation we were having the other day, you know. It's your turn."

"My turn?"

"Yep." She swung her arms. "Go on. Tell me something that embarrasses you."

"Fine, fine." He was ready for this. "Once, I had been up really late fighting—fighting _sleep_. So, y'know, the next day I was understandably tired. I fell asleep."

Usagi snorted. "That's not so bad."

He held up his hand. "Not finished." He let his and fall to his side and continued. "I guess I forgot to mention that I talk in my sleep."

Her lips twitched. "What'd you say?"

"Motoki said that when Uzura–sensei leaned down and told 'Chiba-san' to wake up, I patted him on the head and said…" He cringed.

Usagi was grinning. "C'mon, what'd you say?" she prodded.

"I don't trust you not to laugh."

"And you shouldn't, not if you're _this _embarrassed about it."

Reluctantly, he went on. "I said… 'There's no need to be so formal, love, not after all _we've _done.' Motoki informs me that I then reached up and mussed Uzura-sensei's hair."

To her credit, Usagi managed to keep a straight face for about 3 seconds before she burst out laughing, giggling madly.

"It's not that funny."

"Oh, but it is. I can see it now… Mamoru-baka slumped over his desk, drool dripping--"

"—I was _not_ drooling."

"—arm flung over the side, whispering sweet nothings in Uzura-sensei's ear." She leaned over, clutching her stomach, and grabbing onto the wall of a nearby building for support. "Did you pinch his buns?" she asked eagerly. "Oh, _tell _me you pinched his buns…"

"As a matter of fact…"

She halted, wide-eyed, as he kept walking, eyes straight ahead. "You didn't."

He turned around and shot her a quick grin. "No. But I sure had you going, didn't I?"

-----------------------------------------

The bell rang for lunch and Usagi scrambled quickly for the door. She'd managed to avoid the girls successfully thus far, and she had no desire to initiate a confrontation now. She'd made it to the hallway, past the lockers, and almost… to… the doors—

"Usagi!"

_Ack!_

Her fingers closed around the door handle and she eagerly yanked it open, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the sunlight.

She walked hurriedly. _Where to go, where to go?_ she wondered as she passed a bewildered Mamoru.

"Odango?"

_Salvation!_

"Baka! Hi!" she cried as she ran to hide behind Mamoru.

"Hi yourself," he said, peering over his shoulder to look at her. "Care to tell me what's going on?"

"Going on?" she asked, feigning innocence. "I've no idea what you--"

"—There she is. Usagi!"

"Eep!" she cut off her last statement and ducked down. Mamoru cast one last curious glance at her before he found himself face to face with a group of three girls. And one of them looked to be very, very angry.

"I'd like to talk to Usagi," Minako spat at him.

He raised one eyebrow archly. "Ok, then." He stepped aside and nudged Usagi lightly with the side of his foot. "Hop to it, Odango."

She looked up and, upon realizing that her cover was gone, promptly dove behind him again. "What are you _doing_, baka? Wasn't it obvious that I was hiding from someone?"

"But these are your friends—Oh." Comprehension seemed to dawn on him. "That fight you were talking about this morning?"

"Hai-i, Baka-san," she sing-songed.

"Right." He turned back to Minako and cleared his throat. "I'm afraid the Odango is unavailable at the moment." That got his foot stomped on. "Ow! What was that for?"

"I have a _name, _you know."

"Usagi, this is ridiculous," Minako tried.

"Mamoru-baka," Usagi began, "would you kindly inform Minako that I'll be ready to listen to her when she's ready to trust my judgment?"

He cast a look over his shoulder at her, eyes narrowed in disbelief. "You've go to be kidding me. You want me to deliver _messages_ for you?" She pinched him viciously. "_Ow!_ Gods, this is _so_ juvenile," he muttered. "Usagi says--"

"--I heard what she said," Minako snapped. "And I have to say that she needs to trust me on this one."

At this, Usagi seemed to forget that she was ignoring Minako. "Oh, because you always listen to _me_ so well? This is the _one_ thing I want you to listen to me on, and you can't do that, can you?" She turned abruptly on her heel and stalked off. "Come on, Mamoru-baka, let's have lunch."

Mamoru turned to looked at Minako curiously for a moment. "You don't like me very much, do you?"

"No. I can't say that I do."

He nodded, taking that in before they heard a far-off "Mamoru-baka! Lunch!"

He hollered back, not taking his eyes from Minako's. "I'm coming, Odango, don't wet yourself, now!" And then he, too, strode off, following the sounds of Usagi's indignant sputters but uncannily aware of Minako's gaze, which continued to burn into his back.

-----------------------------------

"Sho," Usagi slurred around a mouthful of odango. "I'm bored. What do you guys want to do?" She gulped down her food as Mamoru.

"You know, Odango, I find it rather disturbing that you're devouring your namesake," he said, eyeing her bento with an expression of disgust.

"Ish _not_ my namesake!" she shrieked, bits of it flying from her mouth.

Mamoru flicked some from his cheek. "Say it, don't spray it," he said wryly.

"Mamoru-_baka!"_ Usagi shrieked, letting a torrent of insults fly from her mouth. The light of battle shone in Mamoru's eyes and he leaned over to match her jab for jab.

Motoki sighed as he observed them. "Ah, young love."

"You blibbering, babbling, barrel of bilge!"

"—The birds, they are chirping."

"You… _baka!"_

"—The bees, they are _buzzing_."

Usagi's fingers twitched towards Mamoru's throat.

"And romance!" Motoki clasped his hands together. "It blossoms before my very _eyes!"_

They froze, Usagi's hand wrapped around Mamoru's throat, one of her pigtails firmly in his grip. They stared at each other horrified before Mamoru broke the silence.

"Can I kill him?"

She released his neck and gestured in Motoki's direction. "Please do."

Motoki gulped nervously and backed away. "Hey, wait. You wouldn't hurt good ol' Motoki, would you Mamoru-chan?"

Mamoru stopped, eyeing him strangely. "-_Chan?_" He peered at Motoki suspiciously. "Are you _sure_ you're not gay?"

"Hey!" Motoki yelped, puffing out his chest in masculine pride. "I _have_ a girlfriend, you know!"

Mamoru put a finger to his chin thoughtfully. "I mean you seem to really like domestics. You're all too willing to talk about your feelings. I've heard you refer to things as 'kawaii.'" He looked at him in disgust. "There's that walk you do from time to time."

"A walk?"

"Yes, a walk," Mamoru said, lips pursed in concentration. "It's sort of--" He put a hand on his hip and let the other stay at his side as he walked back and forth, in a bad imitation. Realizing that he couldn't quite master it, he turned to Usagi in frustration.

Her face lit up. "Oh! I know the one you mean!" She sashayed back and forth, hips swinging casually. For a moment, Mamoru couldn't help but admire the view. "Like that, ne?"

He shook himself. "Right. Like that." He turned back to Motoki, and his mind scrambled to remember what he'd been saying. _Ah!_ "And then, Motoki, _then _there's that pink apron you have."

"Who told you about that?" Motoki demanded.

"No one," Mamoru said as Usagi whistled innocently in the background. "But there's no denying you've just confirmed it."

After Mamoru had managed to chase Motoki into a tree like a frightened cat, he relaxed, leaning against its trunk. For half a moment, he wished that he could capture the suaveness that he maintained effortlessly as Tuxedo Kamen. "Odango--"

She glared at him.

"—Usagi," he corrected himself hastily. They'd filled their arguing quota for the day. "You want to tell me what all that was about earlier?"

"Okay," she readily agreed. "We were arguing, and Motoki-oniisan made some comment about us being in _love_." She wrinkled her nose.

_Cute, _Mamoru thought with half a smile on his face. He shook himself. _What was **with** him today!_

"—And then you called him gay, told him about his apron," she shot a Look at him, "which, by the way, wasn't something you were supposed to _repeat _to anyone. Then, 'Nii-san squeaked like a little mouse and he ran up the tree." She clasped her hands in her lap and beamed up at him.

Mamoru eyed her exasperatedly. "Not that. _That," _he said as he gestured towards the bench where Minako, Ami, and Makoto had congregated, frowns on their faces.

"Oh," she said, slumping. "Right. That." She turned away from him. "You wouldn't understand," she said, feeling that she was somehow wrong, that he _would_ understand, that maybe he was the only one who would even try to.

"Okay," he said easily. "I wouldn't understand."

She turned back, not believing that he was about to give up so easily. That was it? She was all depressed and that was _it?_

"So, _make_ me understand," Mamoru challenged.

Now _that_ was more like it!

"Nuh-uh." She folded her arms across her chest. She may have wanted to tell him, but she had to make him work for it a little.

"Odango…" he said warningly.

"Fine, fine, Mr. Nosy," she said, turning back to him hurriedly. "Okay, I've got this friend, right?"

Mamoru heaved a short sigh of relief. Friend trouble, okay, he could handle friend trouble. As long as it wasn't—

"And the girls _really_ don't like him."

--Boy trouble. Mamoru listened disbelievingly. She had _boy trouble?_

"Minako and Rei especially. They don't trust him, but he's never done anything _wrong! _So, I kind of lost my temper with them."

He eyed her narrowly.

"O_kay, _I _really _lost my temper with them."

He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Okay, I lost my temper so badly that it was worse than even _you've _seen," she finally conceded. "Anyway, I told them off, and I feel kind of bad, but they're _wrong, _and they need to _trust_ me, and they need to _realize_ that. So," she turned to him with pleading eyes, "what do you think I should do?"

_Don't ever see him again, _a little voice in Mamoru's head commanded. He squashed it quickly. "Well, Odango, you're usually a pretty good judge of character. After all, you're friends with _me_ now." He preened a little. "If you think this _friend--_" He shot a quick, nervous glance at her "--of yours is worth it, then just give your friends some time to come around."

She nodded thoughtfully. "Thanks Mamoru-san." The bell rang, and they both hopped up, dusting themselves off.

"You going to the arcade after school?" he asked.

"Mm-hmm," she replied, darting a look at his profile as he stretched his arms over his head. _He's not so bad-looking. _She jerked her head down quickly, blushing slightly. _Eek! Bad thoughts, bad thoughts! Mamoru is annoying. He's a baka. He's—_

Mamoru stumbled over a tree root.

_--apparently picking up my characteristics. Okay, good, bad feelings diminished. Usagi 1, Weirdness 0. _"What about you? Are you going?"

He looked at her dryly. "Does E equal MC squared?"

"I don't know. Does it?"

He sighed, putting one hand on her shoulder to gently steer her in the right direction. She'd been veering right and he knew that her next class was to the left. He caught Minako's cold glare and pulled Usagi into him a little closer. "Come on, Odango. Let's get you to class."

----------------------------------------------------

Usagi waited. And waited. And then, she waited some more. Her chin resting on her hand, she absently nibbled her nail as she watched the clock begin to tick slowly towards her freedom. She'd been late on _purpose_, she tried to console herself. She knew that she'd probably get detention. Still, it was unfair that she had detention while Mamoru—

"Psst. Usagi."

Usagi let out a muffled sort of scream, and spun around in her seat. "When did you get here?" she demanded. "I didn't see you come in. Hey," she poked the kid sitting next to her. "Did you see him come in?"

Mamoru tugged on one of her pigtails. "Leave the kid alone."

"Don't tell me what to do," she said, turning to face forward.

Mamoru frowned. Was she ignoring him? She wasn't allowed to ignore him! He poked her in the back again. "Odango."

She turned to the boy next to her who had a head of chocolate-brown hair. "Hi there. I'm Usagi."

Mamoru leveled a glare at the boy and he gulped nervously.

_Don't look at the baka,_ she coached herself, wary of these new feelings that had snuck up on her somehow. _He's not cute. He's not sexy. He's_—

She caught a glimpse at him out of the corner of her eye.

_Preeetty ticked._

She turned back to him and started a conversation (the poor guy next to her had started stuttering and didn't seem like he'd stop anytime soon). "What are you doing here? Thought all the teachers loved you."

"Yeah well… I was late. _Really_ late."

"But we got to school at the same time!"

_But I thought I felt Sailor Moon feeling sort of depressed, so I took some more time to try to use the link to track her down. But the link isn't strong enough when we're not transformed._

"I know. Uzura-sensei hasn't quite forgiven me for "the incident."

She winced sympathetically. "Gotcha."

Usagi fiddled with her pencil. "Mamoru-baka, do you--" Her back suddenly shot ramrod straight.

"Do I what?" he asked curiously.

Usagi's body began to buck strangely, as she fell out of her seat twitching. A strangled gasp escaped her mouth and her eyes were squinted shut against the pain. Her fists clenched into her skirt, and she writhed in agony there on the floor.

Mamoru had long since abandoned his seat as he scrambled to her spot on the floor. He lifted her into his arms, still squatting there on the floor. "Usagi?" he asked, feeling panicked. _What's wrong with her?_ He felt Sailor Moon's pain tugging at him intensely as well. _But how? She didn't even transform!_ "Usagi?" he tried again.

She reached up and caught a fistful of his shirt. "_Mamoru_,"she almost sobbed, short of breath.

"_What's wrong?"_ he asked her in terror. She didn't respond, her body straining in response to the pain. _How can I _fix_ this?_ he wondered in horror. _Is it a seizure?_ Chaos had erupted around them, the detention teacher trying to pull Mamoru away from Usagi's thrashing body. He resisted. "Usagi! Stop it!" he demanded irrationally. Her eyes snapped open, glassy and blank and her body went frighteningly still. "Usagi? _Usagi!"_

A soft pink glow began to pulse in a nearby schoolbag, unnoticed by anyone and a malevolent figure descended from a cloud, followed by a horde of others. Creatures writhed around one another, pushing to get past. A figure at the head smirked and raised a hand. The roar of unearthly shrieks echoed throughout the city as the beasts plunged toward the ground, claws outstretched, talons slashing, mouths opened wide.

Mamoru spun with the rest of the room, Usagi's unmoving body still in his arms.

_The first assault of the Dark Kingdom,_ some small corner of his mind noticed detachedly. The phrase 'Hell on Earth' was about to take on an entirely new meaning.

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**Review, por favor!**


	6. Chapter 5

**I'm aliiiiiive! I'm sure you all thought I'd perished, as it took me forever and a day to get this up. Truth is, I have several explanations, though they're not good ones. First is the fact that I'm a lazy bum and waiting after posting chapter four to start writing this. Second is that, _then_ I was blocked on it. And third, I then lost power and internet access from Hurricane Wilma. I was near to going positively batty, I was. My parents wanted to know where I was going whenever I left the room. Fer Chrissake, there was a hurricane going on outside! I was going to the _bathroom, _not to Spain/sighs and stops ranting/ Ah, well, at any rate, I hope you'll forgive me. **

**Oh, because so many of you have asked—_Haru no Kousekiinai Arimasu _means 'In the Wake of Spring' in Japanese. And my penname: _Natsudori _means 'summer bird' in Japanese and _Lina _is an Italian name meaning 'light.' Thanks to _Nimbirosa _and _Wren Truesong_, for Arashi-chan came up with my title, and Jikkan-sama translated it. And for my penname, I've been Lina long as I can remember, but Arashi-chan named me properly and dubbed me Natsudori as well.**

**Right then, the dedication. To _Nimbirosa/Arashinobara—_she's my imouto-chan and beta and this fic wouldn't be what it is without her. She helped me transition scenes whenever I was stuck, prodded me into writing in the first place, and grabbed the knife and butcher block whenever what I'd given her was shee-yat.**

**2nd dedication- to the folks at the usakomamoru livejournal community. Because they give me something to look forward to everyday, and because they're all just so dirn (yes, that's right, 'dirn') talented.**

**The disclaimer, as always, is in my bio.**

**Finally, as after aaaages of waiting, I present to you—**

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_**Haru no Kousekiinai Arimasu**_

_**By Natsudori Lina**_

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Mamoru stared at the scene before him in disbelief, unconsciously clutching the blonde in his arms closer as he did so. The entire classroom seemed to have forgotten everyone around them as they simply stared out of the windows, watching their city, their _home,_ be ravaged by bloodthirsty monsters. Someone retched as a snake-like youma tore hungrily into a pedestrian's leg, causing him to fall to the floor, clutching it in agony. Blood spewed from the wound and they watched the man choke as he clutched the bone protruding from his leg-- no, his stump of a leg.

Mamoru started from his horrified trance at a sudden sharp intake of air followed by breathless coughing from Usagi. He looked down at her, and opened his mouth to ask her a question when she suddenly _pushed_ herself from his arms and took a few quick, hurried steps towards the door.

"Usagi," Mamoru said, staring at her retreating figure incredulously. She halted where she stood. "Where are you going?"

She didn't respond, simply stood there. The rest of the room was oblivious to them, transfixed in terror at the scene outside.

"Usagi," he demanded again, putting a hand on her shoulder and turning her around. "Where the _hell_ do you think you're going?"

"I have to go out there," Usagi said, eyes curiously blank.

"The hell you _do!_" he said. "People are getting killed out there!"

"No," she replied. "Not killed. Not yet." Her voice was eerily calm.

"Do you _hear _yourself!" he raged at her. "Not _yet! _And you're still planning on going out there?"

"It's something I have to do," she said, turning away from him again.

"No," he said firmly, jaw locking in an effort to rein in his temper. "You stay _here_, Usagi, do you hear me?"

Usagi seemed to lose her composure for a second, flinging her arms around a surprised Mamoru, whose eyes widened. Slowly, hesitantly, he brought his arms up to rest gently on her back. Usagi closed her eyes shut tightly and fisted her hands in Mamoru's sleeves. "Thank you," she whispered before backing away, eyes once again filled with that curious blankness. "But I'm not the one you should be worried about."

She turned and fled.

Mamoru stood there in shock for a second. It was only a_ second_ before he raced to the door.

But a second too late. She was gone, not even an echo left behind to indicate that she had even been there. How had she disappeared so quickly? He ran into the hallway, footsteps echoing in the stillness of the building. Muttering an oath, he turned and punched a nearby locker, leaving a dent behind. He stiffened abruptly, feeling the power of Sailor Moon's transformation suddenly rush through him. The stem of a rose thrust up from his blood, breaking his skin, and protruding from his veins, causing droplets of red to splash onto the tiled floor.

He hated this. Much as he didn't like it, Usagi would have to wait. He had a heroine and city to save.

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"What in Selene's name are you _doing_, Sailor Moon!" Luna bawled at her ward. The blonde in question darted from victim to victim, evacuating as many of the injured as possible, and every now and then a flash of silver emitted from her slender form. "The youma -"

"Civilians are more important than the youma," Sailor Moon snapped uncharacteristically.

"Where are the others?"

"I'm sure they're on their way," Luna responded distractedly. "Nevertheless, just _what—_"

"Luna, you made me a Senshi, right?" Sailor Moon demanded, letting out another nervous flash of silver energy as she crouched near a man in a dark blue business suit. She flung her tiara automatically at a mucus monster that oozed green as it shlopped towards her. The black feline nodded hesitantly. "_Then let me do my job!_"

Luna sniffed as if affronted. "Well, if you're so certain that you know what you're doing—"

"I—" she dodged a flying tentacle, and slammed her elbow into the youma's face-- "_am!_"

"Very well then." Luna didn't seem to notice her charge as she closed her eyes stuck her nose into the air, the very picture of someone who has been wrongfully offended. She crouched low to the ground and leapt away, presumably in search of the other senshi.

Meanwhile, Sailor Moon was staring aghast at her surroundings. There were so _many._ Everywhere she looked it seemed as though there was another victim, another youma. For every person she managed to heal, there were ten more who needed her. It was all just so much to take. The youma weren't even targeting her anymore, only diving straight at the innocents. _I don't know what to do,_ she thought desperately as she began to glow silver in her anxiety. Softly at first, she didn't appear to notice the soft light. Then she looked down at her hands in shock and not a little horror.

_What's happening?_ she thought in a panic. _I didn't mean-- I can't-- I don't know what this will do!_

She struggled desperately to contain her power, certain that only her anxiety had triggered it, not at all sure about what would happen to those around her if it should burst from her. Had she worked so hard—_so hard!_—to cultivate her control of the strange abilities she wielded only to lose it all now?

"Stop it!" she cried out, eyes closed, uncertain as to exactly whom she was talking to.

The moon senshi felt hands on her shoulders, their owner shaking her, pleading with her, begging her to answer him. "Sailor Moon?" It was Tuxedo Kamen, and he sounded uncharacteristically panicked. "Sailor Moon! The bastards! What did they _do_ to you?" The hands shook her again, even more urgently than before. "Sailor Moon!"

She opened her eyes to meet Tuxedo Kamen's, his face so close to hers, peering at her so intently that if she hadn't been lost in her own little world of panic and desperation, she might have bothered to see what color his eyes were. As it was however…

"Tuxedo Kamen," fear put a sob in her voice. Gods, she was going to _burn_ from the strain of _keeping this in_! The white-hot light within her was leaking from her grasp, control trickling away like water. "Not them - they - I - I can't control it!" The realization came swift and merciless; she knew that if she let it go, Kamen would be first in its path. Weakly, she pushed at him with her hands. "Go away - get away, please! I don't know what this will do, and I _can't_-"

He chose to ignore this. "What 'it?' What can't you control?" he asked as his own fear increased at a steady pace. He could_ taste_ her fear on his tongue - it left a bitter sensation in his mouth. He flexed his hands as golden sparks danced at his fingertips in his desperation to do _something_, to _fix_ this.

She shoved uselessly at his chest. "Get _away—_" Her pleas were abruptly cut off as her knees buckled beneath her and she clutched her head in apparent pain.

The glow grew steadily brighter at a quicker pace, as she tried frantically to hold all of it in lest someone, lest _he,_ should become a casualty in a war they were never meant to take part in. She _pushed_ at it with all her strength, but to no avail. With her mouth open in a hoarse scream of denial, it suddenly exploded from her like a supernova.

The effect was instantaneous; the youma had scarce a heartbeat to twist their grotesque necks to witness their impending doom. The light rushed toward them with a roar like the crashing surf and it rushed _through_ their bodies, disintegrating them on the spot...

...and people were left behind. They were healed for the most part - only cuts and bruises remained - but lay unconscious, sprawled across the sidewalk and across the asphalt roads. Cars stood still and silent. Only two people remained visibly standing, and of the two, one buckled and sank to the ground.

Slowly, carefully she turned to the man who knelt at her side, eyes worried behind his half-mask. _Blue eyes_, she thought, and for a reason she could not fathom, she felt breathless. _Dark blue, like the deep ocean - like midnight._

"You - you're not hurt?" she inquired dazedly.

"I'm fine," he assured her, a gloved hand cupping her face and turning it this way and that to inspect it for injuries.

"Oh," she said faintly, her expression slackening. "That's good." And her world went blessedly black.

Alarmed, he checked her breathing and pulse again, and felt carefully along her arms, though he dared not touch elsewhere.

But what if she were really hurt? His expression firming, Tuxedo Kamen lifted the unconscious senshi easily and made a note to chide her on her eating habits - she was impossibly light, even for one so small as she.

The civilians were waking; it was his time to depart. About to about to take his leave of the scene, Sailor Venus' cold tone stopped him. It shouldn't have - couldn't have prevented his taking the moon senshi with him, but fool that he was, he turned so that guarded midnight eyes met blazing cobalt.

"We _warned_ you," Mars gritted out, and Mercury's calming hand did nothing to cool her fury. "And you persist in associating with her!"

"Peace, Sailor Mars," Venus said quietly, and Tuxedo Kamen resisted the urge to snap as he juggled Sailor Moon in his arms. "Tuxedo Kamen, we _did_ tell you -"

"And you have no right!" he growled, his already strained temper fraying dangerously. He had put up with the senshi's arrogance for Moon's sake, but they were getting to the point where it was not just annoyance he felt for them, but a genuine dislike. "She trusts me -"

"She doesn't know what we do."

"Bull!" he snapped, gently placing the frail-looking senshi of the Moon on the ground - it would not do to hurt her with his anger. Free to feel now, he looked at them with blazing eyes, jaw clenching and clenching compulsively. "_You_ claim to know something. What is it?" He'd had this conversation before, and he was getting _sick_ and _tired_ of it! "If _you_ know something about me that is so terrible that you fear for your leader, don't you think I've a right to know?"

He could almost see her hackles raising at his tone, and for a moment felt a pang of self-consciousness. Fighter though he was, he was but one man, and outnumbered at that. "It is not you we worry about, but the path of fate your actions will set us on. It isn't safe for the two of you. It never will be."

He stared at her in disbelief. Had she heard a single word of what he'd just said? "Then _what?_ What _is_ it?"

"That is something that Venus and Mars do not seem inclined to share with anyone." He whirled to find a stoic Sailor Jupiter hefting the unconscious blonde into her arms, shifting Moon so that burden and bearer were both more comfortable. "They have said only that it will bring a disaster. That it already has. We aren't exactly happy with their decision to keep quiet -" she shot them a disgruntled look "- but we do this in her best interests." She cast a fond look down at the blonde in her arms. "Care to tell us what happened, by the way?"

Obviously, Jupiter seemed a bit more inclined to trust him.

Did he have the right to reveal her power? Did he _want_ to? Tuxedo Kamen tasted blood, and realized that he'd bitten his lip through. Spite wouldn't help her... but perhaps her senshi might. "She was -" he fumbled for the appropriate words, "she was _glowing_," Kamen finished lamely.

Venus and Mars exchanged alarmed looks. "You don't think -" Venus started.

"Hai. I do."

"But if she's -"

"Then we may have done more harm than good."

Venus looked desperate. "Away. We need to get her away from here. Away from _him_."

"Away?" he asked, panicked, "Why? What did I do? Where are you going? Where are you taking her?"

The words spilled forth even as he strode towards the green-clad senshi, and the tiny spark of anger leapt higher and higher until it was a blaze of fury and fear. She couldn't leave. He needed to keep her within his sight to make sure she was safe.

A rose appeared in his hand - by the gods, he'd _keep_ them here if he had to - he _had_ to -

It was the wrong thing to do. Upon seeing the rose, Jupiter cast a vaguely apologetic glance his way and leapt for the treetops, taking Sailor Moon with her. Tuxedo Kamen cursed fluently and bounded after them, heedless of the shouts behind him.

And that was when memory laid a cold hand on his shoulder, halting him violently.

Gods...

_Gods!_

Usagi.

Changing his direction abruptly, haste lent him speed and strength as Tuxedo Kamen turned back towards the school.

If she wasn't there...

Damn it, but he'd turn the entire city upside down to find her... and hug her -

A mental slap cleared his head and his dark eyes glinted dangerously. _And after she gets that hug, I'll hang the little twit from the nearest tree, and play pin the odango._

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He'd gone to the school, found it swarming with reporters and promptly retreated when he heard several policemen mention something about evacuating the premises.

He then decided to try the Crown, only to come dangerously close to scaring Motoki to death when he stormed in, hair sticking out every which way, demanding to know if anyone had seen Odango.

Motoki, unable to pass up the opportunity to rib his best friend, asked whether or not this meant that Mamoru had finally come to his senses. That was when Mamoru lost himself to the panic raging within him and grabbed Motoki by the straps of his apron, hauling his torso over the counter, baring his teeth with a feral growl.

"Where. Is. Usagi?" he gritted.

The blond, more than a little taken aback, replied only by holding up a thin piece of paper that he'd scribbled on during his teasing. Mamoru's eyes locked onto it before he turned a questioning gaze to Motoki, eyes still smoldering dangerously with that desperate panic and irrational anger.

Motoki choked under that gaze, managing only to get out "Usagi's address," before the paper was snatched from his hand and Mamoru was once again flying out the double glass doors.

Once in the alley that was so conveniently located next to the arcade, Mamoru looked down at his wrist with a grimace. He was loathe to initiate another transformation so soon after the battle, but if he must…

His face contorted as he concentrated on the transformation; a cut opened on his wrist, blood trickled out before solidifying into verdant green, a rose bursting forth from his bloodstream with a hiss only to be caught by a confident hand. Power coursed through him as green darkened to black and he was again clad in the familiar tuxedo.

Tuxedo Kamen glanced stoically at his bleeding wrist before he leapt to a nearby rooftop. The cut was healing already, golden sparks dancing as it slowly closed. Still…

_Blondes_, he thought, bounding along the Tokyo skyline. _They'll be the death of me yet._

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Tsukino Ikuko had not expected anything out of the ordinary when she woke up that morning. Indeed, the day had started the same way they traditionally did in the Tsukino household: she had woken her children; handed them their lunches as they left for school, and saw her husband off to work with a cheery smile in place. The indigo-haired matriarch had not expected the city she had grown up in to be threatened by a horde of monsters (though if she had, she wouldn't have concerned herself with it too much).

When it was over and the youma had disappeared, no doubt thanks to the Sailor Senshi, she had breathed a sigh of relief along with the rest of the city and returned to her work, thinking all to be right with the world. After all, her daughter's friends had called only moments before to say that Usagi would be going to Rei's for an emergency study session, and Shingo was upstairs, happily playing his video games. Ikuko was sitting happily in her sunny kitchen, refrigerator humming as the icemaker churned, chattering away on the telephone as stew simmered on the stove.

When the chime of the doorbell sounded through the house, Ikuko didn't concern herself with it too much. Doubtless, Usagi had finished her study session and was returning home, having forgotten her key. Honestly, that girl would lose her own head if it wasn't attached. She walked forwards, tugging the phone cord so that it would reach the door and so she continued her conversation.

"Did you see what that woman _did_?" she demanded laughingly, only steps away from the door. "Put her hand on Takahashi-san's husband's knee, well it's no wonder she pushed her into the punch bowl! I'd have done the same if it was Kenji." Ikuko threw the door open with a welcoming smile on her face only for it to fade as she stared, stupefied, at the masked man who stood uncomfortably on her doorstep. The phone slipped from slack fingers.

He seemed a bit startled at her reaction, and glanced down at himself with a little chagrin, taking in the tuxedo and cape and smacking an exasperated palm to his forehead. "Oh damn it, I forgot," he muttered. "Ah-- Tsukino-san, is it?"

Mutely, she nodded.

He continued, undeterred. "In light of the erm-- recent attack, the senshi and I are doing a sweep of the area." _Let's ignore the fact that only one or two of them seem to trust me,_ he thought grimly. "Are um, all members of your household present?"

There was a brief silence before she spoke, prompted into speaking by his expectant stare. "Well, there's my husband. He's at work still, a photojournalist. He has to get pictures."

For some reason, this made Tuxedo Kamen twitch. "I see. Anyone else?"

"Well, my daughter Usagi--"

"About how old is your daughter, ma'am?" he questioned authoritatively. _Please, oh please, just this once, let Motoki have had correct information. _ Please_ let this be the right house._

"She's fifteen," Ikuko answered warily. Something about the boy in front of her had the hair on the back of her neck rising; he made her distinctly uneasy, his sapphire eyes flat behind the impersonal mask.

Tuxedo Kamen, on the other hand, was quite pleased. _Victory!_ he crowed internally, and shifted his weight, attempting to look intimidating and unapproachable. "I see... and you are aware of her whereabouts? The youma tend to target girls around her age, due to the high amounts of energy given off by teenagers." Then, feeling as though he might as well do the thing properly (if he was going to try to protect the silly chit, he'd best make sure her family was keeping an eye out for her): "In fact, I seem to recall reports of a Tsukino Usagi being attacked before."

"_My_ Usagi?"

"Her location, ma'am?" he asked impatiently.

"Oh -- yes" she said, flustered. "She's at her friend's shrine. The Hikawa Shrine, run by Hino Rei and her grandfather? It's on --"

He tipped his hat to her, effectively cutting her off. "That will be all, Tsukino-san, just so you know she is safe." He leapt for the rooftops once again, throwing a quick salute and a "Sarabada!" over his shoulder as he left.

Ikuko slowly closed the door, one hand trembling slightly. The entire exchange had taken no more than two minutes. With a dazed expression still on her face, she picked the phone up. _My Usagi, attacked by youma_. The thought played vaguely in the back of her mind, like a radio that someone was slowly turning the volume up on, bit by bit.

"Yumi-chan?" she asked, cutting her friend off, who had been screeching her name like a banshee since she'd heard the clunk the phone has made as it fell to the ground. "I'm going to have to call you back." Ignoring her friend's protests and demands for an explanation, she calmly replaced the phone in its receiver. Ikuko stared at it for a long moment, and then walked serenely to the couch, sinking into its comforting warmth before she let her eyes roll back into her head.

Standing uncertainly on the topmost stair, Shingo blinked as his mother sank into a most profound unconsciousness. "Grown-ups think they're all that," he muttered, slouching over to the video game system and seating himself on a cushion, "but they're really weirder than we are."

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Tuxedo Kamen's face was red beneath his mask. Gods, but he'd been all over the city today! From home, to school, then to defend the city, to the arcade, Usagi's house, and now to Sendai Hill where he hoped to finally get his hands on the foolish girl so he could get some sense in her - he'd shake it into her, if need be.

'_Pin the Odango,_' he reminded himself gleefully, and wondered if he should bother blindfolding himself.

He finally crouched outside the Shrine in a tree, feeling a certain sense of déjà vu. Had it really been less than a week since he'd knelt here with Sailor Moon? He shook himself from the daze he'd slipped into, eyes narrowing as he spotted movement within. Shifting from Tuxedo Kamen back to Mamoru - he'd not make the same mistake he had with Tsukino-san - he was suddenly, almost _painfully_, certain that his quarry lay within.

With a quick and agile hop, he found himself squatting in the grass. He straightened abruptly, aware that if someone had seen him, it would look just a _bit_ suspicious. He made his way to

the doors of one of the Shrine rooms, rapping a fist smartly against them.

"Yes?" Rei's voice came, muffled from within. "Who's there?"

"Mamoru," he answered, waiting (_and very patiently too_, he thought). "I'm looking for Usa—" the door flew open "—gi." The four girls-- Rei, Minako, Makoto, and Ami-- of varying statures, stood before him, all with a certain degree of wariness in their eyes. "Is she here, then?"

"She doesn't want to see anyone," Rei said shortly. "Least of all, you." As though it had been choreographed, they all stepped backwards as one, and Rei slammed the door in his face.

Mamoru blinked. Well. That wasn't _quite_ how he'd pictured this conversation going. With a stern expression fixed firmly in place, he opened the door and stepped through.

Heads whipped around, hair flew. "How—" Ami began.

"You left it unlocked," he clipped out.

"Out," Minako said. Her voice rose to nearly a shriek. "_Out!_"

"I'm not leaving until I see—" he started to say heatedly. Then, his eyes caught sight of one blonde pigtail peeking from behind a wall partition. "—_Usagi._" The flame of anger left him abruptly, leaving the beginnings of panic to lick at its ashes. "What's wrong with her?" he questioned frantically, running, stumbling ungracefully in his fear. For she was tossing, turning, moaning, her face flushed and crinkled as though in pain. Her body was drenched in sweat even as she kicked off the blankets that she had been lovingly tucked into.

"Is she hurt?" he wanted to know. "Is she sick? Why didn't anyone tell me? I'd have been easier on her, I'd've helped her with her doctor appointments, I could have done _something,_ gods be damned," he said unthinkingly, eyes fixed on her agonized face.

"Mamoru. _Mamoru."_ A cool hand on his arm stopped his wild ramblings. He turned wild eyes on Makoto. She took a quick step back, a warrior's instinct, before she brought herself to stand before him again. "Stop it. She's not sick, she'll be fine. We're looking after her."

"Then _why_—" he started to ask.

"_Endymion_," Usagi sighed out in her sleep. A look of dismay entered Rei's eyes and Minako let her breath out in a long, uneasy hiss.

It sent a jolt through him, reverberated in his head. He cast a quick, startled glance her way. That meant something. He'd heard it before. He had. Where—

He whirled to face Minako. "You. You're hiding something." The tension rose, palpable in the room now. He indicated Rei with a quick jerk of his head. "And you as well." Minako clenched her fists at her side. Rei set her mouth is a firm line. "You'll tell me," he said confidently, almost threateningly. "You _will_ tell me." The silence was like water, drowning them in quiet until one confused, dazed voice drained it effectively.

"…Mamoru?"

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**/falls to knees and begs for scraps of praise (as she so often does)/ Oh, review, wouldn't you/Pats you on the cheek fondly/ Ah, now there's a love. /Skips off/**


	7. Chapter 6

_**/peers out from behind her rock, waving a white flag/ **_

_**Been a while, eh?**_

**_/Dodges rotten tomato thrown her way/ _**

_**Eep!**_

**_Well, I could give a whole slew of excuses, but they'd be lies. Truth is, I just lost interest and was blocked on this for a while. Honestly, it's still shorter than I'd like and it could do with a little more work, but… /shrugs/ c'est la vie._**

**_Thanks go to all the people at the usakomamoru livejournal community for being amazing, and as always Arashi-imoutochan (Arashinobara Jikkankakyoku) aka Nimbirosa for being the amazing beta/practically co-writer/person that she is. Be sure to check out her fics! They are undoubtedly worth your time. In fact, I doubt you'll be able to tear yourself from the computer while reading them._**

_**See profile for disclaimer**_

_**On with the fic!**_

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_**Haru no Kousekiinai Arimasu**_

_**Chapter 6**_

_**By Natsudori Lina**_

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"Mamoru?" Usagi's gaze shifted slowly from the strained expression on her friend's face to her senshi's defiant eyes. Grunting, the blonde sat up and pushed feebly at the covers restraining her before her clumsy attempts were halted by Mamoru's hand on her shoulder. She resisted at first, but he was far stronger than she, and Usagi found herself lying down again, her eyes staring disgruntledly at Mamoru's exasperated glare.

"Don't get up just yet, Odango," he snapped peevishly. Cool fingers checked her pulse and Usagi's heart leapt into her throat as the tall boy knelt suddenly, and brought her face to his.

"Mamoru-san!" She squeaked in alarm. "What -?"

"Quiet," he ordered, pressing his cheek to her forehead. "I'm trying to take your temperature - it's a lot easier like this... no, stop squirming!" He sighed, leaning back and taking in her affronted expression. "It wasn't like I was going to kiss you or anything."

She colored, eyes narrowing to slits. "I didn't think for a second that you were, baka."

Mamoru opened his mouth to respond accordingly, but seemed to think better of it. "Don't stress yourself, Odango," he said instead. He peered concernedly into her eyes; she didn't appear to have a concussion, but he could be wrong. That glazed sheen in her eyes couldn't be healthy - they were too bright, and almost metallic in hue. He laid the back of his hand on her head again.

Suddenly remembering Usagi's friends, Mamoru looked sharply at them. "What mess did she walk into, to get this way?" he inquired waspishly. His hand took hers, played absently with slender fingers, smoothed over the carefully glossed nails, traced the lines on her palm by power of touch alone. Unable to reason why he had been so panicked, and not wanting to examine the thought further, Mamoru put the thought aside and merely squeezed her hand once more before relaxing, allowing his hand to remain relaxed on hers to smooth the lingering fear; foolish girl, running away like that. Foolish. Idiotic. Too-strange, too-mysterious, too-enigmatic _Lump_head.

He looked challengingly up at Usagi's friends and felt gratified that the blonde did not try and pull her hand away. Mamoru allowed the small victory.

S_he wants me here, see?_

Usagi couldn't have moved if she wanted to. What mess had she gotten into, indeed. Her life may have been a sort of organized chaos before, but it was nothing to the growing panic she felt inside of her. She tried to quell the initial desperation and looked to her senshi for guidance.

_Well,_ her gaze begged, _what_ _do we say? What do we tell him?_

Makoto chuckled nervously. Usagi's startled deer look wasn't lending them any credibility. She waved a hand airily. "Oh, you know Usagi. Always tripping, falling, stumbling this way and that. She just hit her head and passed out. She'll be fine."

Usagi nodded eagerly as Ami picked up the thread. "Yes, a severe contusion can often lead to brief periods of unconsciousness. In one case study—" She choked on her words helplessly as nimble fingers made their way to the back of Usagi's hair, combing through the silken strands for evidence to confirm their story.

His hand dropped from her head to fist at his side. "She doesn't have a bump. Not a cut, not a scratch, not _one_ goddamn bruise exists on that girl's head."

Usagi made a brave attempt to salvage the situation. "I just heal really quick, that's all! And... and it's a bump _inside_ my head, you know, like a dent, but not really? Conva- no, convex... that's wrong. Con_cave_, that's it, con_cave_ bruises!" She laughed shrilly, causing Mamoru to wince and withdraw slightly. 

"You are a horrible liar, Odango," he told her, but his lips twitched suspiciously. He should be angry, but he couldn't... oh, he couldn't. "Dents in the head? 'Concave bruises'? Bumps _inside the head_? I suppose that confirms my 'lumphead' theory after all."

Minako bristled. She'd been silent since Usagi's waking, but the conversation had obviously caused her to reach the end of her tether. "Don't talk to her like that!" she snapped.

Mamoru's eyes narrowed slightly, a muscle working furiously in his jaw. "Should I treat her like a child, then? She's not as clueless about the situation as I am, and I'm not going to pretend to believe that you five are keeping something from me." His lip curled. "Besides, it's not as if 'lumphead' is anything new... she all but admitted herself, just now."

Makoto drew herself to her full height, green eyes flashing. "Mamoru-_san_, you can't possibly think that you can come in uninvited, insult Usagi-chan and then expect us to tell you -"

"You've all but admitted that there _is_ something wrong." Mamoru crossed his arms, but could not hide the flicker of worry in his face. "I might not deserve answers, but I would certainly like some."

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They had been bickering at great length over exactly what to reveal and what not to. Mamoru was still in Rei's room, presumably tending to Usagi. Every five minutes or so, one of the girls would go out and check on them... just to be sure.

"Thoughts?" Makoto whispered as they huddled together.

"No," said Rei flatly. "We tell him nothing. Until a few days ago, the only times he deigned to speak to Usagi were to degrade her. Just because he's suddenly started to take notice…. No. He doesn't _deserve_ an explanation."

"Doesn't he?" Ami asked quietly, looking down at her hands. The group turned to look at the little bluenette, as she continued speaking, hesitance in her voice. She lifted her eyes to meet each of theirs in turn. "You've said it yourself, Rei, he's started to take notice. I have to disagree with you on one point, however. I wouldn't exactly call it 'sudden.'

"Whether you'd like to admit it or not, Mamoru has been there for Usagi lately when she needed someone."

"She has us for that!" Rei protested.

"It can't always _be_ us, Rei," Minako put in defeatedly. "Usagi needs someone more than just us. She needs someone who has her interests at heart. She _always_ has." This was said with a pointed look in Rei's direction.

Makoto bristled at that. "Are you saying that we don't?"

"No. I'm just saying that as senshi, we tend to look at the bigger picture. It's not so much what _Usagi_ needs as it is what the _world_ needs."

"Minako," Rei said ominously, you _know_ what could happen. We've already seen it."

"But there's part of the problem. It's what _could_ happen. Not necessarily what _will_ happen. Neither of us is perfect. We could still have made a mistake. Is it really fair for us to prevent them from being apart?"

"If it's meant to happen, it will," Rei said firmly. "Nothing we do will change that."

"So what's the point?" Ami interrupted gently. "If you're trying to prevent something that's meant to happen, you're barely a blip on the cosmic radar."

"So we just… give _up_?"

"I don't really think we can classify it as giving up," Minako said thoughtfully. "More standing aside, really. We can step in if there's more of an immediate problem, but right now—"

"Speaking of immediate problems, what _exactly_ are we telling Mamoru?" Makoto, sensing that something of a consensus had been reached, prodded them back on course.

Ami brought a thoughtful finger to rest at her chin. "Well, you know… Mamoru _is_ fairly logical. Do you suppose that if we explain that something is going on, and that we'll tell him when we can be sure of the consequences of our actions… do you think he'll just… let it go?"

"It depends which Mamoru we're dealing with today," Rei grumbled. "If he's… just _Mamoru_ then I think it's fairly safe to say he'll accept that. But if he's… I think we've all noticed that lately when it comes to Usagi, he's been a tad—"

"—Unbalanced," Minako put in helpfully.

"—Irrational."

"—Stupid."

"—Overprotective," Rei decided.

There was a short beat of silence before Makoto sighed and made a sweeping motion in the direction of the door. "We might as well get this over with."

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They filed inside, backs to the wall, presenting a united front to Mamoru, who eyed them warily.

Minako stepped forward, opened her mouth to speak… and after a moment's hesitation, promptly closed it again.

"Well?" prodded Mamoru. Usagi attempted to move to a sitting position and Mamoru absently pushed her back down again. She frowned briefly at him before lashing out and catching him on the side of his head with her foot.

"Ow! Watch where you wield those gondolas, Odango," he reprimanded her, rubbing the back of his head while glaring.

She squawked indignantly. "Gondolas! You baka. I'll have you know that my feet are _tiny_. See?" She extended one foot under his nose for inspection.

"Mmm," he muttered noncommittally, darting glances at her shapely legs from beneath his fringe. He snapped from his perusal of her figure when she began once more to sit up. "Odango. You're still weak from the—Oomph!" --this as she caught him in the stomach with her "tiny feet."

"Watch who you're calling weak, buster." She turned to smile sweetly at Minako. "You were saying?"

"I—" She cast a glance toward Ami for assistance.

"Get on with it," Mamoru huffed impatiently. Without batting an eye, Usagi smacked him in the back of his head. He turned to stare at her in disbelief.

"Ahem," Ami coughed politely to get their attention. "Mamoru, we've decided that while your concern for Usagi is understandable, there's very little information that we can divulge.

"There are certain things that Usagi—that we all—" she indicated the other members of the group "are involved in. The activities are a _tad_ dangerous,--" at this, Makoto snorted and had to be silenced by a sharp elbow to the ribs by Rei "but we've all been trained. We know what we're doing. And, while we'd _like _to tell you everything, it's for your own safety that we withhold these secrets."

The senshi stared at Mamoru as he processed this information. "Let me get this perfectly clear," he said slowly. "The five of you" he pointed to each of them in turn "five fourteen and fifteen year-old females are involved in something so dangerous, that _I,_ a seventeen year-old _male_, can't know about it?" He raised one sardonic eyebrow.

A pregnant pause filled the room before Usagi spoke, frowning. "You know, I'm not so sure I _like_ this sexist side to you, Baka-san," she said flatly.

"What? I wasn't - but I was. But that's not the point here! The point is that you five are hiding something that is potentially dangerous, and have as good as told me that no adults have been made aware of the situation.

"How do you know that they can't handle things as well - if not

better than you can?"

"Because we're _different!"_ Rei exploded.

"How?" Mamoru retorted.

"Did you even _hear _what we just told you?" Minako demanded. "We're trained, you dunce."

"But—"

"I _told _you he wouldn't understand," Rei said furiously to the rest.

Infuriated, Mamoru rounded on Usagi, who had been conspicuously silent so far. "Usagi-chan?"

_I can't_, Usagi wanted to say, but when she opened her mouth, the taste of copper flooded in.

_Blue eyes, glazed over and listless. The metallic scent of blood hanging in the air, its bitter tang stinging her tongue_—She gagged. "Usagi?" _–The clatter of steel as it fell to the ground. The muffled sound of his body as he collapsed-- _"Usagi, snap out of it!"--_Short, gasping breaths. Blood-stained hands. Ohgodsohgodsohgods. **Pain.—**_

_"Usagi!"_

She came out of it with a gasp as if she'd just resurfaced from the water. Her eyes were wide with terror as she stared into Mamoru's frantic ones.

He moved his hands to the sides of her face to steady her, and to _make_ her keep eye contact, damn it all. _"What happened?"_

She panted, gulping in lungfuls of air desperately. She choked on the oxygen. Oh gods, she could still taste the blood. With a cry, she tore herself from Mamoru's lax grip and half-ran, half-stumbled out the door amidst cries of denial from the senshi and Mamoru as they moved to stop her. Mamoru dashed to the door that led to the outdoors and caught himself on the doorframe as he looked for her, listened for her. It was still outside, save for the gentle rustle of the leaves in the trees.

Usagi was gone.

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_**Review! **_

_**I'll try not to make it such a long wait for the next chapter, minna**_

_**-Natsudori Lina**_

_**natsudorilina . livejournal . com**_


	8. Chapter 7

_Hola, todos/removes the sombrero from her head/ Well, a lot has happened to me since the last time I updated Haru. I graduated from High School, went to college orientation, and passed my Advanced Placement Spanish exam. _

_I also wrote a couple of drabbles inspired by the **Usakomamoru** livejournal community, which I'd love for you to check out (and review): _

_**Nothing Personal- **It isn't that Chiba Mamoru has anything against magic, you see. It just didn't fit with his idea of how the universe worked._

_**The Problem**- Usagi believes that Chiba Mamoru has a problem. And she has decided that someone will just have to fix that._

_So, who's ready for the good news? You, sitting there in front of your computer, are you ready? THIS CHAPTER IS THE **LONGEST THING I HAVE EVER WRITTEN**. That's right. Not even just the longest chapter of Haru, but longer than my one-shot Harry Potter fic too. It is 17 pages and 8, 524 words (without my notes, to those of you who are wondering if I cheated), which I personally think makes up for the last, pathetically short chapter. _

_Also, a few notes. I was greedy with this chapter since it's the one I did the most planning for. In other words, it's un-betaed, so please don't blame my loverly beta **Arashi-chan** if you think it's awful because I wouldn't let her see it. She will be betaing the next chapter _

_Guys, if you are ever wondering where I've gotten to fanfiction/writing/fandom wise, check my livejournal. There's a pretty good chance that I've posted an explanation there, but I also only post the status on my 'fics there, along with the occasional sneak peek. All of my fics can be found on there as well, including my first awful one, which I WILL NOT post here because it is just that humiliatingly awful._

_**natsudorilina . livejournal . com**_

_Dedications: To a few people this time: To my imouto-chaka (**Nimbirosa/Arashinobara**) for pushing me along and letting me vent and being understanding when I told her she couldn't see it, to **Elianthos** for always leaving me such lovely reviews and encouragement, both on lj and ff . net, and to **Hermionecrookshanks919** for lighting a fire under my butt with her eight reviews in one night._

_And now… to Haru!_

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_**Haru no Kousekiinai Arimasu**_

_**Chapter 7**_

_**By Natsudori Lina**_

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Usagi bit the white skin of her fist, determined to keep the sob that wanted to escape muffled. The branches above her brushed her head softly, swaying in the wind. The taste of blood was still there in her mouth, but it was gradually fading, along with the panic that accompanied it. Thinking of it brought a grimace to her face and she fought the urge to make sure that her hands weren't stained with blood as well.

She hadn't known quite where to go when she'd ran out of the shrine like that. There had simply been a frantic need to escape from them all… and from Mamoru most of all, so she'd leapt into the trees, praying that they wouldn't notice how much the leaves stirred.

She cautiously withdrew her hand from her mouth, wary of the emotions that she was trying to keep a chokehold on, and moved it to the blonde strands of her hair—which, she noticed, were slightly lighter than they used to be. She'd come out of that… whatever it was… to see the same blue eyes that had been dull with pain now shining with concern for her.

She hated to think what that might mean… hated to think that she _knew_ what it meant. The dreams, the growing awareness of Dark Kingdom activity, the strange healing ability she'd always had, and her seeming inability to stay away from Mamoru—despite what Venus and Mars asked of her (for she knew that it was not merely Minako and Rei making the request). Worse, she feared that she knew what it might mean for all of them if she, Usagi, was… she could barely handle what everything now, she was _just_ keeping it together, what would she do if she _was _right?

Usagi watched as Mamoru turned with obviously heated words to speak to the senshi. His emotions were high and he hadn't responded well to their attempt to leave him out of things; she supposed that after everything that had happened today, her leaving suddenly like that hadn't exactly helped matters.

_Home_, she thought vaguely. She'd go home, lock Luna out, close her door, pull her covers over her head and just _sleep._

She watched as they filed out of the shrine one by one, obviously intending to look for her. All of them were (thankfully) heading in the direction of the arcade, the park, Naru's… it really was handy in this instance that all of her usual hide-outs were on the opposite side of town. Usagi waited a moment longer just to be sure they wouldn't come back before bounding down from the tree and fleeing in the direction of her house.

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Usagi slammed the door behind her as she got inside. Ikuko peered out into the hall, stirring some sort of mixture with a large wooden spoon, looking slightly wan.

Usagi, about to climb the stairs to her room, stopped dead in her tracks. _Oh no._ "Wha-What are you making, Mama?" she asked cautiously.

Ikuko looked at the bowl, seeming almost surprised to see it there. "Cookies," she said nonchalantly.

Usagi sat down in a kitchen chair. Hard.

_She's baking, _Usagi thought with horror. "What happened?"

Ikuko laughed, a high-pitched giggle filled with nerves and tension. "I don't know what you _mean, _dear. It's just that earlier today this _nice_ young man stopped by in a top hat, tuxedo, and mask to do a—" she dropped the spoon and began gesturing rather wildly, forming air quotes around her next words "_'sweep of the area.'_"

Usagi's jaw dropped as her mother bent to pick up the spoon. _He had been _hereshe thought faintly. _He spoke to my mother... he came… how did he _know

She eyed her mother's flour-covered face and sighed internally. _And now _I_ have to deal with Mama. I may have to kill him, _she thought regretfully.

Ikuko jabbed the spoon back into the bowl, stirring as if determined to punish the batter for some wrongdoing. "Which _really _isn't _anything_ out of the ordinary, of course. But then, _imagine_ my surprise—my absolute _shock—_when he tells me that my own _daughter _has been attacked before!" She whirled around, blue hair flying as she leveled the batter-covered spoon before her daughter's wide cornflower blue eyes.

_"Just what do you suppose he was talking about?"_

Usagi gulped. She stood staring at her usually composed mother, who was panting slightly, batter splattered in her hair, and grasped desperately for an excuse.

"I was… at Osa-P when that first attack happened, remember?" she offered hesitantly.

"Oh." Her mother blinked and went back to stirring, more calmly this time. "Well that's alright then. Just try to stay out of situations like that next time, dear."

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At last, at long last, after giving her mother instructions to tell everyone to _leave her alone_, Usagi collapsed into bed, the cool sheets feeling wondrous to her tired body. Knowing the risk of nightmares but too tired to care, she closed her eyes and let the darkness come.

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Most people who knew Tsukino Usagi knew that she liked to eat. They knew that she enjoyed the carefree aspects of life: boy-watching, manga, arcade games. They knew that she cared very little for the institutions of learning that she was obligated to attend. But most of all they knew that it would be a cold day in hell before she rose early to get there.

That morning they were all shocked as Usagi positively _zoomed _down the stairs and out the back door an hour and a half before she usually left.

Her family, seated at the table for breakfast, paused in mid-bite, blinking slowly and turning to each other in verification of what they'd just seen. Tsukino Kenji put down his toast and turned to his wife, asking bemusedly. "Ikuko, dear… what's the temperature outside?"

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Mamoru clenched a fist in frustration. Usagi had somehow managed to evade him every day since last Friday when he had come close, _so damn close_, to finally getting to the bottom of the enigma that was Usagi. He ran a frazzled hand through his hair staring through annoyed eyes at the clock that was ticking far too slowly for his peace of mind. He needed to figure out what was going on with her before—before—

Before what?

He shook his head. It wasn't important.

Mamoru had shown up at Usagi's house on Monday morning before school began, thinking to drive her to school and wrangle some answers out of her, find out if she was alright, and (he'd realized with a certain amount of dismay) generally enjoy the pleasure of her company.

Usagi hadn't left the house that morning. At least not while he'd been there, and he had kept a close watch on her front door. Yet he had arrived at school and walked past her class to see her sitting at her desk, snoozing peacefully.

It was Thursday. He had tried every day to talk to her since then and she had somehow evaded him every time.

He looked at the clock once more. Five minutes 'til. Class was about to end. Maybe if he…

Mamoru's hand shot into the air, interrupting his Chemistry teacher in the middle of an explanation of some rule. Heisenberg's principle? he wondered briefly with a quick, scanning glance to confirm. Good, he had managed to space out on material that he was familiar with. His teacher blinked at the confidently raised hand, having lost his train of thought. "Yes, Chiba-san?"

"May I please be excused to the restroom, Sensei?" Mamoru asked.

The teacher acquiesced to his request and Mamoru moved from his seat, taking time to leisurely walk down the hall to Usagi's classroom. He was loathe to corner her like this, but if she wouldn't come to him, then by the gods, he'd go to her.

The bell rang and he was burning a hole in the wooden door with his eyes as he willed it to open. Almost instantly, his wish was granted as it fairly flew open and a blonde blur whizzed past him and down the hallway. He blinked in bewilderment. Now where on earth was she going?

He began to follow when an exasperated Ami walked out of the room, looking left and then right, doing a double-take when she spotted him. "Ma-Mamoru-san, what are you doing here?"

He raised a sardonic brow. "I attend school here, Mizuno-san."

She frowned. "You know that's not what I--" She sighed. "Have you seen Usagi-chan?"

"Mm." He made a noncommittal sound, neither confirming, nor denying this.

She eyed him appraisingly for a moment before turning left to exit the building. "If you see her," she said quietly, facing the door. "Tell her that we're sorry for—for whatever it is that we did."

Mamoru watched as she left through the doors, presumably to have her lunch outside. He pivoted right and strode down the hallway, intent on locating Usagi, no matter how long it took. He peered in each and every door before finally spying a head full of blonde hair nestled into a corner of the computer lab. He swung open the door and waited for her eyes to raise from her bento to look at him. When her eyes finally trailed up from his shoes to meet his eyes, he smiled sarcastically and she… squeaked.

His eyes widened in disbelief. "Odango… did you just say 'eep?'"

She waved a hand airily, an obviously feigned attempt at nonchalance. "No, no, 'course not." She pouted prettily and Mamoru was momentarily distracted by that petulant lip. "Baka-san, my hair isn't in oda—buns," she corrected herself hastily, pointing to the long ponytail the cascaded down her back.

He shook himself from his contemplation of Usagi's lip and sun-spun hair and put his aloof smirk back in its proper place. "I had noticed," he commented drily. "Why is that?"

She grinned widely, and pointed out the window to the tree flowering outside. "It's spring, Baka-san! Season of change and all that."

Mamoru was aware that she had steered the subject most effectively away from their last moment, but for the moment he allowed it and frowned in consternation. _I don't like this change_, that small voice in his mind said sadly. "I don't like it," he said aloud. "It doesn't suit you."

She looked startled. "You really don't think so?"

He shook his head firmly. "Absolutely not. You don't look… like you," he finished lamely.

She sighed and pulled her hair free of the ponytail. "Hold this a moment, would you?" she asked, handing Mamoru her scrunchie. She rummaged through her schoolbag. "I think I've got some pins in here somewhere," she muttered. "Aha!" Her hand emerged triumphantly holding said pins and busied herself with twisting her hair up into its customary style. Mamoru waited until he thought that she was effectively preoccupied before he got the conversation back to where he wanted it.

"Usagi," he said calmly, his tone belying nothing of his intention. "You wouldn't be avoiding me, would you?"

Usagi thrust one pin into her hair, looking upward thoughtfully at the one half-done bun and reached out for another one. Mamoru handed it to her, watching her for any sign of a reaction. "Did you say something, Mamoru-kun?" she asked distractedly. He sighed and repeated the question. "Oh." She took a moment to ponder this thoughtfully before sticking another pin into the first finished bun. "Yep." She began twisting the next one up.

Mamoru blinked. He hadn't expected her to agree quite so readily. "Ah."

"Oh, it's not just you," she assured him casually. "I've been avoiding the girls too."

He gritted his teeth in frustration as memory prompted him to deliver Ami's messge. "Oh, right, Mizuno asked me to tell you that they're sorry for whatever it is that they did."

This gave her pause. "It's not that anyone _did_ anything," she said, patting her finished hairstyle. "It's just that… I dunno. I figured you'd all want answers." Her eyes flicked away, staring at the corner. She didn't _want_ to remember.

A pause. "I see." No, that was a lie. "And you aren't inclined to give them?"

"Not particularly," she said frankly. "Actually, you're being better than I expected about this."

"Odango--"

"Usagi," she corrected with a glare. "And you're going to get all weird on me now, aren't you?" she asked resignedly.

"Yes. Usagi," he said, waving a hand impatiently. "What happened?"

"I—nothing," she said shortly, turning from him. "Just some bad memories cropping up at a bad time."

"Usagi," he said warningly.

"Look, Mamoru, it's nothing okay? And it's my business besides, I don't know why you _care_," she said, turning away.

That stung. "We're friends, Usagi," he said heatedly. "Something's wrong with you, I want to help."

"I don't _want_ your help," she said stubbornly.

"Well too bad," he said angrily, laying a hand on her shoulder and spinning her to face him. "'Cause you're gonna get it."

"Mamoru no _baka_," she spat at him. "This isn't something that even you, student and macho man extraordinaire, or no, can fix."

Sarcasm didn't become her, he noticed as he ran an agitated hand through his hair. "Why the hell not?"

"Because I think I'm finally figuring out what it _means_!" she screamed, losing all composure and gesturing wildly. "Because I'm scared of what it means if I'm right. Because I can't put this on you too. Because it's always scared me and it just keeps getting worse and because I don't want to be right!"

Mamoru was the tiniest bit triumphant in one corner of his mind. It would be really easy to get the story out of her if Odango continued to have diarrhea of the mouth like this. He opened his mouth to prod her into revealing something further when she held up a hand, cutting him short.

"Don't. I know what you're trying to do and it isn't going work," she said, fumbling to close the clasps of her bag. He took it from her and closed it wordlessly. "I have to—_damn it_," she said, cursing in a burst of anger as her brooch began to flash pink light into the room. She moved toward the door and, but found him blocking the way.

"That brooch again, Odango," he said, eyeing it with distrust. "What does it mean?"

"Nothing," she said shortly, moving to the left.

"Nothing again," he said, matching her step. "Your life would be awfully boring if it was filled with as many nothings as you say. What does the brooch mean, Usagi?"

"Nothing! Mamoru, I have to—I—_Move!_" she cried, pushing past him and running out into the hallway.

He darted out and—as he had half-expected—she was gone. He spun around angrily. Why did she keep _doing _that?

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Usagi held her breath inside of the janitor's closet, thankful that it been the room next to the computer lab. She watched through the slits in the door as Mamoru looked left and right for her. Her hands shook and her breathing came in shallow gasps. A youma was coming. Just one, she was fairly certain from her reaction, though it was getting gradually easier to control. She reached out a hand to steady herself, bumping a hand against a mop.

She breathed a sigh of relief when Mamoru after some hesitation had turned and walked past the closet, but… why was he just standing there, looking confused? His back was to her, could she… No. It was too risky, he was right there, he'd see the light through the door. It was too risky, too risky, too—

--Too late.

Her eyes widened as she straightened with a gasp of pain. Her hand clenched into a fist as she regulated her breathing hastily. _The youma's here,_ she thought distantly. There was nothing for it. She'd have to transform there and risk discovery. "Moon Prism Power," she whispered softly to her persistently blinking brooch and threw her hand into the air waiting for the momentary ecstasy that accompanied the rush of power.

Fully transformed, she fled the closet, casting a half-apologetic gaze back at Mamoru who seemed to be pre-occupied with studying his—wrist? She shook her head. She'd never understand that man.

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She located the youma in the courtyard, having exited the building while Mamoru's back was turned. It hadn't been difficult to work out how her body reacted to its presence in order to track the youma down. The further away she got, the worse her reaction became. The closer she got… well, her breathing would ease, her hands would become steady, and she'd no longer have to fight the urge to let her eyes roll up into the back of her head. Sailor Moon stood in the courtyard, body at ease now, the strain, the _pressure,_ of her spirit demanding that she do battle gone now as she searched for her the enemy.

There was a rustle in the leaves—_there!_ Ami, Minako, and Makoto sat beneath the same tree that the youma was camouflaged, faces serious as they discussed something in low tones. Minako trailed off and looked up taken aback when she saw a horrified Sailor Moon staring into the branches above them. Minako flinched as something… gloopy dripped onto the grass next to her. Hesitantly, she looked up, Ami and Makoto's eyes following hers. Seeing the ash-colored youma crouched there, salivating, they dove to the side; Makoto and Minako to one side, Ami to the other.

The youma roared with anger at its prey's evasion and leapt nimbly down from the tree to crouch on the ground, using its six limbs to steady itself, and glare menacingly up at Sailor Moon who straightened her shoulders resolutely.

"I'll clear the area; find somewhere to transform," Minako muttered in an aside to Makoto, who nodded almost imperceptibly.

Minako took a deep breath to fill her lungs with oxygen and let it loose a one long blood-curdling scream. "Aiiiiieeeee! Monster!" she screeched, scrambling to her feet, and heading indoors. "Run for your lives!" A hoard of stampeding students followed in her wake, having taken one look at the youma and heeding her instructions. She led them to the building before darting to the side to let them all run past her. Makoto and Ami had meanwhile slipped away to the side of the school to find somewhere to henshin.

Sailor Moon braced her legs against the ground, grinding them into the dirt to get her bearings as the youma eyed her with an uncharacteristically evaluating gleam in its orange eye. "How—how _dare_ you!" Sailor Moon shouted, her usually righteous speech fueled simply by rage this time. "What gives you the right to barge onto school grounds and interrupt tired students in the middle of a peaceful lunch and conversation? You have no right! And I--" her voice faltered slightly, growing softer. "I'm not going to stand for it." Her spirit strengthened, her will resolved, she clenched a fist in determination. "For love and justice," she said firmly. "I am Sailor Moon. And I will punish you."

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Tuxedo Kamen watched from above as Sailor Moon gave the customary speech and the youma attacked. She dodged blow after blow, obviously trying to tire it out before the rest of the senshi arrived to get its energy low enough to be able to vanquish it with her tiara. He started in surprise as she went on the offensive, spinning to deliver a forceful kick to its side. Whatever training the senshi had been doing was obviously working. And… he blinked. Well, he certainly hadn't imagined using the Crescent Moon Wand that way, but he supposed it worked.

A bolt of lightning, courtesy of Jupiter, he supposed, whizzed in front of his face nearly startling him right off his branch. The youma howled in anger as it seared into its skin and Sailor Moon, guessing correctly that the senshi had arrived to take this part over the fight out of her hands, moved to the side to await her chance.

Amidst a shower of Crescent Beams, fireballs, and lightning zaps, Tuxedo Kamen strained his eyes to see the fight below him. So intent was he that he didn't notice when a figure materialized next to him and followed his gaze to the blonde warrior in pigtails.

"Mmm," Zoicite murmured, lips quirked up into a sarcastic half-grin. "I suppose you're waiting for your chance to swoop in and save the day, are you?"

Tuxedo Kamen turned and gripped his cane defensively, eyeing him suspiciously. "What are _you _doing here?" he spat.

Zoicite waved his hand dismissively. "Now, now, none of that. I'm not here to attack at the moment. This is merely an—intelligence gathering mission, I suppose you'd say," he said watching the senshi maneuver around the Dark Kingdom's creature.

"I suppose you _would_ need intelligence in your circle," Tuxedo Kamen said bitterly.

"Clever," a sarcastic Zoicite responded. He peered through the leaves once more and sighed. "Well, this won't do. How can you see a thing?"

"I'm gifted," he said shortly.

"Yes, well, be that as it may…" His figure disappeared to float above the battleground, and his eyes were still trained on Sailor Moon, making Tuxedo Kamen distinctly uncomfortable. He abandoned his post amongst the branches and landed in front of Sailor Moon in a defensive position.

"Tuxedo Kamen-sama!" she exclaimed, mouth open in a small 'o' of surprise. "What are you--" She broke off to frown. What was this weird feeling all of a sudden, like memory was poking at her mind? She was supposed to do… something. A disturbance in her sub-space pocket made her investigate curiously to find the nijizuishou glowing. She started and followed that strange feeling from her pocket to Tuxedo Kamen, to Zoicite. A light dawned. The nijizuishou were all here.

He held up a hand, eyeing Zoicite for any sudden moves. Zoicite smirked, seeming to know exactly what he was thinking. "Eyes on the battle, Sailor Moon," he said softly.

She blinked. "Right," she said uncertainly, turning back.

A cry came from the fray; Sailor Mars's voice, who had appeared only moments ago and leapt into the fight eagerly. "Now, Sailor Moon!"

"Left knee!" Mercury added helpfully, dodging one of its appendages.

"Got it!" Sailor Moon put a hand to her forehead.

Tuxedo Kamen frowned. Why was Zoicite _still_ watching her? Shouldn't he be seeing what went wrong with his minion? And why… why did he have a very bad feeling about all of this?

"Moon." She pivoted in a graceful circle. "Tiara Action!" she yelled. She removed the tiara to let it fly and let out a cry as light exploded from her forehead. _What was happening?_ she thought wildly as the pain brought her to her knees as she pressed a shaky hand glowing silver to her forehead in an effort to ease her agony. She didn't care who saw, she thought around the inferno in her mind. She was certain that she knew what all of this meant now, but for now she just wanted the pain to stop. Just once she prayed that her silver power would ease her own anguish.

The senshi watched, eyes horrified.

"It can't be," Mercury said, typing frantically. "It's not what I think--"

"It is," Mars said, eyes filled with sympathy as they watching their friend glow like a small beacon of light and were helpless to do anything about it. None of them heard the youma's anguished scream as the Moon Tiara sliced it neatly in two, rendering it to nothing more than dust.

Jupiter had apparently been struck speechless, but Venus's eyes were on Zoicite who had a sinister grin on his face. "No," she breathed in denial. The Tiara settled itself back onto Sailor Moon's brow.

"Oh, yes," he said darkly, with a satisfied chuckle, as Sailor Moon braced herself with both hands on the ground as she collapsed, panting heavily. He moved toward her quickly, but was stopped short by the irate figure of Tuxedo Kamen, cane clutched in one hand, a rose in the other, poised to throw.

"You stay the hell away from her," he growled through gritted teeth. "If you lay one damn hand on her, I'll cut. It. Off."

Their eyes met in a challenge, the school grounds silent now, save for Sailor Moon's desperate gasps for air. The four remaining senshi recovered themselves to stand in front of him, expressions grim as the elements danced around their hands in response to heightened emotions.

"I wouldn't, if I were you," Jupiter said with a quiet menace as the senshi stared at him in an unsettlingly quiet manner, daring him to make a move. Zoicite laughed.

"And if I were _you_," he said pointedly, "I'd keep a closer watch on my charge."

They whirled to see Tuxedo Kamen's cape fluttering behind him as he leapt for the roof, an overwrought Sailor Moon still recovering in his arms.

Zoicite took advantage of their shock to rise into the air, laughing uproariously as he let himself fade away. "Just like I said." His eyes were fixed intently on that slowly disappearing blur of black and gold. "Just waiting to swoop in and save the day."

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Sailor Moon watched the buildings flash by her despondently. She had been right. All of that hope for nothing. And now—she closed her eyes against the sob that wanted to rise and saw the images of blue eyes lit with anger and a red-lined black cape as it closed around her protectively, lovely and warm. The senshi would want a miracle from her now. And she had no idea how to give it to them.

The images flashed in her mind again and she bit her lip until it turned white from pressure. When would she get what _she_ wanted? she wondered.

Tuxedo Kamen finally came to a stop on one rooftop after casting a surveying glance at the area behind him. Seeing no sign of Zoicite or any threats from the Dark Kingdom, he set her down, but remained on his guard. He eyed her carefully. Her breathing had recovered, he noted with some relief. And she didn't seem to be exhibiting any—abnormal glowing tendencies. She was just standing there, looking at her hands bitterly as if they'd somehow betrayed her.

"The glowing." He spoke suddenly. "What does it mean?"

She laughed emptily. "Which one?"

"Silver first, then your forehead," he decided. "And what happened last time when you collapsed like that?"

She sighed, resigningherself to answering his questions. "The silver… remember that day during training when I healed your cut?" He nodded to show he understood. "I can heal. Not myself, not usually, but…" She shrugged. "I've always had it. I can control it for the most part now, but when I was younger and someone needed it, it was just sort of--" she gestured vaguely "—_pulled_ out of me. And the other day, there were people falling left and right and so _many _people needed it that it was pulled out again. I've never been around such a big number of people who needed it, so when it started to be drawn out, I panicked. I'd never felt anything like it before, so I tried to keep it in and then… gods, it _burned_." She put a hand to her chest, remembering. "I was afraid of what it would do to you."

"It was scary," he said fervently. "I had no idea how to protect you against that."

She smiled a sad little half-smile, a shadow of the grin that usually dominated her small face. "Can't. It's a part of me."

"Mm. And why did the silver show up today?"

Even the half-smile faded now and he had the ridiculous urge to walk over and push the corners of Sailor Moon's mouth back up into the position that they belonged. "I'm sure you noticed that my forehead was shining like a small lighthouse. It was… painful. I had hoped that just this once--" She flexed her hand helplessly.

Realization dawned. "You wanted to heal yourself. Make the pain stop."

"Yeah." She smiled sadly again. "Can't blame me."

"I have something similar," he confessed. "Nothing glowy, but it's golden. And sparkly."

Her lips twitched suspiciously. "Sparkly?"

"They're very manly sparkles," he said seriously.

She laughed, a full-throated one this time. "Of course."

Tuxedo Kamen looked at her in relief. She'd be okay, he was sure. "And your forehead?" he prompted expectantly.

The laughter faded from her eyes as they widened, startled, having forgotten that he'd already mentioned it once. "I--" she tried. "It's--" She sighed. "It's nothing." Her forehead burned beneath her Tiara. _Liar, _it seemed to whisper mockingly.

"Nothing." His voice was flat. He grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him. "I'm going to ask you to please not lie to me," he said earnestly. "Please."

Her eyes were searching as she looked at him. "Okay. It isn't nothing. But I can't tell you what it is."

"But—_why?"_ he demanded. "You said you trusted me. If that's true, then why…"

"It's not that." Her voice was soft as she turned away to stare at the ground. "If I tell you… I'll have to admit to it. I'll have to try to give them their damn miracle and I'll lose out on everything _I_ want--" Those blue eyes again. She hadn't even _known_ until she thought that she couldn't have him. And that cape as well. Why couldn't she have what she wanted, _why?_ "And—and I _can't-_-" _I can't be that person again_, she thought hearing the steel ring out again. Seeing bodies strewn about. Tasting the blood again. Watching. Him. Fall. _I can't feel that pain again_.

Tuxedo Kamen buried his hands in the sides of her hair, forcing her to look at him. "I'm not _asking _you to," he said frustratedly, closing his eyes behind his mask as he brought his lips down on hers abruptly. Sailor Moon's eyes widened with surprise before she let them close slowly. She rose on her tiptoes to entwine her arms around his neck hesitantly, as she gave her self over to the kiss—to him. She'd worry about consequences later; worry about the guilt that nagged about the edge of her memory later. Right now all she wanted to concentrate on was the man who had saved her life day after day, night after night for months. So she kept her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him, begging him to make her forget—just for a few minutes.

It was a gentle kiss, but undoubtedly fueled by the raw emotion that Tuxedo Kamen had bottled up, the cap suddenly bursting under pressure. He didn't quite know what he was doing, he'd realize later. He had just wanted—he reflected, moving his hand from her hair to caress her back possessively—wanted to make her better. His top-hat fell off as he angled his head to the side to deepen the kiss and her hands curled in the hair at the nape of his neck. And after hearing her sound so much like Usagi…

Usagi.

He broke away. Chests heaving, they couldn't make themselves face each other. "I'm sorry," he said quietly into the awkward silence, sincerely apologetic. "It's just that--"

"—There's someone else." It wasn't a question. She laughed sadly again. "Yeah, me too." _In more ways than one_, she finished silently.

He felt an irrational surge of jealousy and tried shove it back down. That was ridiculous. Hadn't he just pushed her away? He took a step toward her. "I--"

She stepped back, holding out a halting hand as if to ward him off. "I have to go. I'm sorry. I need to go." Sailor Moon leapt from the rooftop, heading further into the city, pigtails flapping and skirt swaying in the wind.

Tuxedo Kamen let her go.

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Mamoru powered down and, not daring to test his luck anymore than he already had today, climbed down a fire escape. He was still reeling from the revelation that he'd experienced. _Usagi,_ he contemplated. _Really?_ _Of all people? _They couldn't seem to stop arguing, but…he had to admit that he _had_ noticed that he cared for her. He'd have to be an idiot not to have noticed. He needed to think. Where should he go to ponder this? he wondered before answering himself with a self-deprecating chuckle. Of course. He'd go where he always went for a little coffee, advice, and jokes at his own expense. The Crown Arcade… and Motoki.

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Mamoru walked through the doors of the Arcade and settled himself into a seat at the counter, where he rested his head on his hands. Motoki whapped him gently with a dishrag and Mamoru recoiled in disgust. "Get that thing away from me," he said, repulsed. Motoki paused in the act of winding his towel for a sharp flick.

"What's with you?" he asked raising a brow curiously as he apparently changed his mind and chose to wipe down the counter instead, flicking stray crumbs into Mamoru's lap.

Mamoru applied pressure to the sides of his head, as if trying to bore some unwanted thoughts from his mind. "Motoki," he said thinly, voice straining; on edge. "How did you know?"

He halted his wax-on, wax-off routine to stare at Mamoru blankly. "Know what?"

"About--" his tongue fumbled, nerves making him reluctant to say it. "About Usagi," he finally mumbled.

Motoki's mouth twisted thoughtfully as he squinted his eyes in memory. "Usagi-chan, Usagi-chan… what do I know about Usagi-chan?"

Mamoru stared at him, flabbergasted. "Are you joking? You've been bugging me about this for _weeks_ and you don't even…"

Motoki shoved him in the shoulder. "Shut up. I'm thinking."

"An act of God, I'm sure," Mamoru muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. "I--"

"—I have it!" Motoki exclaimed, slamming his hand forcefully down onto the counter. A nearby patron jumped at this disturbance to their progress in slowly achieving a sugar high. "You finally realized you're human, didn't you? You figured out that you have emotions and it's scaring the hell out of you. That's why you're all--" he motioned in Mamoru's direction with a jerky up and down gesture "—distraught." There was a triumphant gleam in his eye. "You finally realized that you're in _lo_—mmmpph!" Mamoru's hand covered his mouth.

"Quiet," he said desperately. "I'm not—I mean—I like her, I do, but—_Ow_! You bit me!" He glared at Motoki. "You had better have had all of your shots."

Motoki ignored this, choosing instead to bellow. "Love is in the air!"

Mamoru might have throttled him, but Fate chose that moment to intervene, sending four panting girls into the Arcade in a blur of sweat and nervous energy. Minako looked at Mamoru for the first time in recent memory without malice or ill will, but hope. Rei, Ami, and Makoto had expressions of such ferocious determination and frantic worry on their faces that, for a moment, he was taken aback. A feeling of deep foreboding stole over him as he noticed one familiar face noticeably missing from their number. "Girls," he said cautiously, raising a hand slightly in greeting, abandoning his efforts to kill Motoki. He hesitated. "Where's Odango?"

Their faces fell. "You really don't know?" Rei asked, uncharacteristically vulnerable, begging for him to contradict her.

"I really don't," he said, looking from one to the next. "Why? What's--"

Minako strode over to him. "We need your help Mamoru-san," she said softly, humbling herself before him. "You _know_ Usagi. If something went wrong, if things got to be too much for her… it's important. We can't figure it out, no matter where we seem to look and no matter what Rei tries. Where do you think—Where would she go?"

Mamoru struggled to find the words to crush their hopes. "I really don't know. All I can think is that she'd try to avoid anyone she knew--"

"That's not _good enough!_" Makoto's voice rose on a wave of emotion, as Ami held her back from trying to beat the answers out of him. He looked on, helpless to give them what they wanted.

"Please," Minako begged, closing her eyes. "Think about it. _Please._" Her voice cracked desperately.

He felt a flash of—inspiration? intuition?—_something _and opened his mouth to speak. "The lake," he heard himself say. "She'd go to the lake."

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_Calm_, Usagi thought with an inward sigh of relief. _Finally._ A gentle breeze rustled the leaves in the nearby trees and water lapped gently at the docks. Her need to escape had driven her here, but the desperation and guilt were fading slightly away from Mamoru, Tuxedo Kamen, and all reminders of senshi duty.

She heard voices coming down the path, a low murmuring accompanied by an intimate chuckle. _Lovers, _she thought with a pang of guilt, her throat tightening, moving away with what was almost a flinch toward the docks.

_I'll rent a boat_, Usagi decided. They'd come looking for her soon enough, and they all knew her well enough to know where she'd go. At least she could take the boat out for as long as she wanted. When they confronted her—when _Mamoru_ confronted her about her hall escape-- and demanded an explanation, it would be on her terms. So much of her life was spiraling out of her control, but at _least_ she could decide when to face them. Her hand dug little crescents into her palm at the injustice of it all. She fought for love and justice, but where were they for her?

She continued her walk to the end of the dock and stared at the tranquil waters of the lake. "I'd like to rent a boat please," she said absently to the man operating the rental station.

"Certainly," he said pleasantly. "That'll be 1,500 yen."

She burrowed a hand in her purse, seeking the appropriate amount, and passed it to him. As she withdrew her hand, however, he caught it. "You seem a bit down," he said, his manner almost friendly, _almost_ conversational. Usagi tried in vain to pull her hand away. His voice was vaguely familiar. Where--?

"I can't imagine why you'd be upset," he said, seemingly oblivious to her continued struggle to free herself.

"Oh yeah, it's almost impossible to figure out why I'd be agitated when a _complete stranger_—" the straw hat hiding his features lifted, revealing strawberry blonde tied back and cold green eyes glittering threateningly "—grabs… my… hand," Usagi trailed off. _Zoicite,_ she thought, a swell of alarm rising within her. Gods, couldn't the Dark Kingdom leave her _alone _for the rest of the day?

"It's an _awful_ shame you're so down," he continued, sounding nearly sympathetic.

Oh gods, her breath was starting to hitch in little gasps now as panic set in swiftly. _What was she going to do? _She couldn't henshin in a public place, couldn't let Zoicite find out who she was, couldn't run, couldn't get away, couldn't, couldn't, _couldn't_.

"Even so," whereas before he had been making a concerted effort to keep his tone light, it now turned darker, more menacing, "you have a higher degree of energy than anyone who has come here in _days._" This as he toyed with the strands in her pigtail and Usagi was helpless to do much more than swallow nervously. "And I sense the very _distinct_ presence of the nijizuishou." His hand fisted in her hair, yanking her closer to him. She bit her lip to stifle the cry that wanted to escape. "Now why," he breathed softly, a cruel gleam of triumph shining in his eye, "do you suppose that might be?"

She had to run. She had to _try, _but something must have betrayed her intentions to him-- a nervous flicker of her eyes to the side, a slight shift of her weight—because his hand moved to close around her throat.

"No one here to protect you now."

_He knew._

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Mamoru followed the girls at a quick pace. They seemed to want to run, but were holding themselves back for some reason. "How important is it that we get there soon?" he asked, voice on edge with worry.

Ami looked at him seriously out of the corner of her eye as Minako and Rei, at the head of the group, began a light jog and the rest of them followed their lead. "Important, Mamoru-san," she said seriously. "Very important."

His worry increased and the landscape became less and less urban, trees populating the area more and more, buildings becoming sparse. With not a little relief, he spied the sign that declared the park and lake open to the public for business and darted across the road with the others. He paused on the other side, a curious look stealing over his features. Makoto, the closest to him, stopped as one by one, the rest noticed, and followed suit.

"Mamoru-san," she asked with trepidation. "What are you doing?"

He frowned thoughtfully and concentrated on the vague feeling that was just there, niggling on the edge of his senses. A look of surprise and anxiety replaced curiosity on his face and finally, he spoke. "I think," he said carefully, "that something is very wrong."

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Usagi squinted her eyes shut against the tears sprang up, prompted by fear. What could she do? she wondered again frantically, her heart beating a quickened rhythm against her chest. How had he known? She opened her mouth to speak, to question, but Zoicite beat her to it.

"Yes?" he asked silkenly, acting genuinely curious.

"_How?_" was all that she managed to choke out around his grip on her neck. Her tongue felt swollen with terror, heavy in her mouth, like lead, refusing to wrap itself around the words that she wanted to use and the questions that she wanted answered.

"How what?" he asked, with confidence in his eyes. She felt all the more helpless seeing it there. He knew that she was powerless like this. He knew that for once he was the one with the upper hand, and he was relishing it like a starving man would his first bite of food in days. "How did I know that you were Sailor Moon?" he whispered. "Or that you were Princess Serenity?"

She clenched her fist. So, he knew all of it.

"It was simple--" he paused "—your _highness_." His words were like an arrow. "You see, I was there too when you people of the Moon watched us and laughed, lording your long life spans over us. And do you know what I remembered?" His eyes cut to hers, a mocking smile on his lips. "There was no senshi of the Moon."

Usagi's eyes shot open with surprise at that. So Luna had made a mistake in making her Sailor Moon, after all. The irony struck her all at once and she laughed—a half-hiccup, half-giggle.

Zoicite glared at her. "I wouldn't be laughing just now," he said dangerously, and she sobered. "I've watched you for weeks now," he said. "And I'll bet that you weren't aware of a couple things." He held up one finger. "For instance, when you use your little Tiara to destroy my youma, I don't think that you knew that your handy little glamour all but disappears." He frowned angrily. "I'll admit that it took me awhile to work out who you were in your civilian guise, but then I noticed the second thing that made it worthwhile." He held up another finger and tapped the space in the middle of her forehead. "Very occasionally, when you fling that glorified Frisbee of yours, a little crescent moon would glow right there." Zoicite grinned widely now. "I was watching for the little moon to show up again, but I'll admit that the power you showed today was more than I had hoped for. Now that I think of it," he pondered, dropping his tally and moving one finger to his lips in thought, still keeping a tight hold on her pigtail "what could have caused that?"

Usagi had a sinking feeling that she knew exactly what the answer might be, but kept her lips sealed tightly shut resolutely, hoping that her look of mindless fear would be enough to convey a mental shrug.

"That doesn't matter," Zoicite decided. "Imagine the reward Queen Beryl will give me when I present her with Sailor Moon _and_ Princess Serenity," he paused to smirk down at her maliciously and Usagi felt her stomach give a nervous jump. "_Dead_," he finished softly.

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At Mamoru's last words, the girls had abandoned all attempts to walk at a sensible pace. Legs and arms pumping, they took off at a dead run for the lake, disappearing into the trees and Mamoru took the beaten path, panting. Whatever had Usagi's friends so frightened must be bad. And there was that feeling in the pit of his stomach… He tore past a couple wrapped up in each other on a bench. The closer that he got to the docks, the worse he felt, like a creature was clawing frantically inside of him, angrily tangling itself in his intestines; his stomach certainly _felt_ like it was in knots.

He saw a flash of gold through the trees, and, not entirely sure why, he dashed behind a nearby trash receptacle and peered around. Usagi's head was bent at an uncomfortable angle, some man's hand (he clenched his fist) tangled in her hair, bending it forcefully toward him. Mamoru frowned—what was it about his stance that seemed so…?

The man pulled Usagi's hair tighter as he growled something through clenched teeth, eliciting a strangled cry from her and his features were at last visible to Mamoru.

_Zoicite._

Mamoru felt his heart stop.

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Usagi's eyes widened, feeling something… oddly familiar, warm her from the inside. What was—could it possibly be that-- She felt her hope grow. It was the nijizuishou. It had to be. She had felt the same way at the battle earlier today and was certain that if she were to look, all of them would be glowing.

Something in her expression must have belied her newfound feeling of hope, for Zoicite yanked her hair, prompting a surprised shriek from her. "What, pray tell," he gritted out, "do you have to be happy about?"

Usagi concentrated on willing the nijizuishou to her, remaining silent. _Come on,_ she prayed. _Please._ A few small gems slipped from Zoicite's pocket, but his attention was on her.

"I would _suggest_," he said, using his free hand to grab her chin in an iron grip. "That you _speak_ when you are spoken to, _Princess_."

His nijizuishou flew into her hand along with her own. She concentrated intently now. The other ones were so _far_… Her forehead began to emanate a slight golden glow. The others flew from a spot in the trees to join with the rest. "And why--" Zoicite frowned "—why did that little moon just show up again?" He ground the tender inside of her cheek into her teeth. "Well?"

Usagi's eyes were triumphant as they flicked down to her hand and she slowly opened it to reveal the seven glowing stones. Zoicite's mouth tightened, loosing his hand from her hair to fly at her face. "You little _bitch!_"

She stumbled away from him as an enraged Mamoru flew from the bushes and the senshi leapt down from the trees. Usagi and the nijizuishou were engulfed in bright pink light that exploded from her brooch. She let out a cry of surprise as it raised her into the air, before the light surrounding her grew too bright, too intense for them to look at.

Mamoru started in surprise as he found his street clothes almost washed away as they were gradually replaced with armor and a cape similar to the one that he wore as Tuxedo Kamen. He blinked slightly, before coming to terms with it. It felt right. He decided to make good use of the sword that had appeared at his side, and strode toward Zoicite. Zoicite was transfixed in horror, dreams of Dark Kingdom rewards vanishing before his eyes, as he kept his eyes locked on that glowing orb of pink.

Mamoru—no, he corrected himself mentally with growing awareness, _Endymion._ That was his name. Endymion tapped Zoicite politely on the shoulder and when he turned, slammed his fist into his face, knocking him to the ground. A weapon could be handy, he contemplated as he drew his from its sheath, but nothing felt quite so good as bone breaking contact.

He placed one booted foot on Zoicite's chest and grabbed his hand. "This is the one that you were going to hit her with, isn't it?" he mused thoughtfully. Abruptly, Endymion brought his sword down, severing hand from limb. Zoicite screamed in agony as his arm began to spurt blood. He tried to turn on his side to vomit. "Uh-uh," Endymion chided gently, wagging a finger at him as he pressed down harder with his foot, keeping him there. Zoicite began to choke on the bile. Endymion 'tsk'ed softly, dangerously. "Well, we can't have that, can we?" he asked as the pink glow began to recede behind them. With one sharp movement, he thrust his sword into Zoicite's heart, watching the light fade from his eyes as he wiped the blood from his sword on his cape with distaste. He spat bitterly on the corpse as it turned to dust. "You'll never touch her again."

The glow faded to expose the figure of Usagi—no, Serenity-- in a white gown, a glowing silver crystal in her hands,—"The ginzuishou!" Sailor Mercury gasped—a peaceful smile playing on her lips, and a small golden moon nestled between her brows as she floated gently to the ground. Endymion stood waiting to receive her as she landed. They embraced, murmuring each others' names before sharing a gentle, but long-awaited kiss.

They broke off at a quivering "_Princess?_" from Sailor Venus, as though she was requesting confirmation that what she saw was indeed real. Serenity's blue eyes were understanding as she nodded and Venus let out a glad cry that was half-sob as she sank to her knees, bowing before a startled Serenity, whose mouth was frozen in a little 'o' of bewilderment. Mars, Jupiter, and Mercury followed suit, leaving a surprised Serenity clutching Endymion's arm as she blinked at them in amazement.

On an unlikely battleground, where the senshi and their ally had sustained surprisingly few injuries, the Princess and Prince had awakened anew.

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_/bounces nervously on balls of feet/ So, what did you think? The ending's a little rough, I know, but I had some trouble with it. I had a lot of reservations with this chapter because I had a tendency to write late at night when my sense of humor was out of whack and I couldn't resist slipping some jokes into serious scenes._

_What did you think of the kiss scene? Did it come off awkward? I've never actually… you know, so I had nothing to base it off of, but fiction, but I hope it wasn't too bad. There are scenes I thought were too rushed and stuff I thought that I might not have explained adequately._

_A couple of explanations- As you have probably guessed, Minako and Rei both retained their memories of the Silver Millenium. The angsty-ness in trying to keep Usagi and Mamoru away from each other stems from their worry that their love will once again bring about the fall of a civilization._

_Zoicite kind of flew in from left field. I had about as much idea that he was going to show up as you did, but then he and the nijizuishou popped up in my mind and I thought, "hey… that might be the way to do it…" _

_My Endymion killing Zoicite scene… wasn't sure how I felt about it. Didn't know I had those kinds of images in my mind, and I still don't know if I have the ability to write them. It seemed kind of weird to me, but I just couldn't leave it out._

_And now Usagi and Mamoru know who they were in their past lives and that they were together. But there's something that they still don't know, isn't there? Think about it._

_I felt the ending was somewhat… again, awkward, abrupt, etc. Please let me know what you guys thought._

_Hmm… there's a lot of stuff I was insecure about, wasn't there? Nevertheless, there are a few scenes in here that I'm really proud of. Do me a favor and push that little button to let me know what **you **thought, k?_

_**natsudorilina . livejournal . com**_


	9. Chapter 8

I bet you never thought it would happen. II mean... I know there were times I didn't! But it's true. It's really here.

The last time I updated, I had just graduated high school. Now, about 5 years later, I'm a year out of college, with my B.A. I work full-time and I'm trying to finish writing my first novel.

Thank you SO much to my beta, Kaitlyn Fall, for whipping this chapter into shape. After 4 drafts, it's finally ready for you guys!

So without further ado...

_**Haru no Kousekiinai Arimasu**_

_**Chapter 8**_

_**By Natsudori Lina**_

Deep within Usagi's consciousness, something was happening. She dreamed that the sea cocooned her body. The waters (if they could indeed be called that—they were something of a gelatin-like consistency) were warm, a protective shell against her bare skin. It didn't matter here. What _it_ was, she wasn't sure. Only that _it _was unimportant. Someone else had taken over the steering, the control over her body, her life, and allowed her to float here, unconcerned with anything, eyes closed and at peace.

A pair of blue eyes, furrowed beneath black brows and shot with gold, pushed to the forefront of her mind.

Usagi pursed her lips. Her lashes fluttered open and silver power shot forward from her hand. The pink sea surrounding her pulsed once, a heartbeat, and she shoved back at those eyes with her energy, pushing them out of her cocoon.

And she bobbed once more in her sea, her protective swaddling. The silver still tingled on the tips of her fingers, like an electric current running from her knuckles to her nails. She closed her eyes and when she languidly opened them again, she noticed that the sky was a soft orange, like the color of sherbet. A crescent hung in the sky and there was not a trace of blue to be found.

Seemingly in defiance of that very thought, the same pair of blue eyes swam up before her in the midst of the sea. The vision widened to encompass raven hair, a strong jaw, shoulders that stood proud beneath shining armor. She strained against the vision in her mind, her eyes narrowing to glare at this man, this intruder. The silver surrounded her body, only to falter and dissipate as it broadened still further to show a woman in his arms. Silver hair—_or was it blonde? _she wondered, growing increasingly alert–cascaded down the back of a white gown. It rustled with the whisper of silk as the woman turned to face her directly and Usagi started at the mirror image. If her hair was that color… if her eyes were that shade of blue… if she'd had a crescent moon nestled above her brow…

"We're supposed to be one, you know," the apparition said matter-of-factly as she stepped forward, out of the man's arms. The voice echoed around Usagi and she frowned, striking out again with the silver glow. It gently soaked into the woman's—"Serenity," the apparition interrupted. "Princess Serenity."—'s skin. "And that won't work, Usagi. What is your power is my power. What is you is me. And what is my past is your past, no matter how you try to deny me."

Usagi shook her head, mute.

"Yes," Serenity said firmly, lavender eyes flashing. "You cannot tell me that you don't feel the pull to heal when someone is injured. The pulse of Terra as negative forces invade her."

Usagi's mouth set itself in a stubborn line, refusing to reveal anything.

"You're Lunar royalty, Usagi," Serenity insisted. "Your body reacts when negative energy such as that is near you."

Usagi shook her head more emphatically, pulling her knees into her chest and putting her hands over her ears.

Serenity sighed in exasperation. "Fine," she said. "Then just try to tell me that you don't feel the pull to _him._"

Usagi's eyes slid past her of their own volition to settle on the man behind Serenity. His lips were bent in a confident smirk, the golden flecks in his eyes shining with warmth. Usagi reached for him without conscious thought.

His image dissipated and an indignant cry tore from Usagi's lips.

"You can't reach him without accepting me, Usagi," Serenity's voice said. She tilted her head, bird-like in her curiosity, and her gaze swept Usagi from head to trembling toe. "Is it really such a horrible thing to imagine? To remember your past and embrace your future? Your destiny? Endymion has already-"

"_Mamoru,_" Usagi corrected hoarsely. Her voice cracked on the first syllable.

"It hardly matters what you call him. The two are interchangeable. He's taken in the missing pieces of himself. Grasped the memories and powers that had been inaccessible to him before."

"But they _weren't _inaccessible to me before." Usagi's hands clenched into fists. At some point during Serenity's diatribe, the gelatinous sea had dissolved and they were left standing face to face in a burnt-sienna desert. Usagi's toes curled into the sand. "The powers... healing isn't a soft tug. It's a _yank._ It takes everything out of me if it's not a small cut or bruise. And the memories? I don't need them. I lived it. And _re_lived it. Over and over again, I watch everyone else fall. I feel my heart shattering, my world crumbling, and then I feel the sword rip my insides open to match." Her voice rose, the tinge of desperation evident in the tone.

"I know. It's easier for him. And Endymion... what he went through back then was still awful, but what we went through..." Serenity trailed off, hands splaying helplessly. "He didn't have to watch me fall."

"Exactly!" Usagi cried, blonde hair swinging into her eyes with a shake of her head. "They were coming for me, but he's the one they got."

"You would have done the same, had it been him being attacked," Serenity said.

Usagi looked away, neither affirming nor denying it. Serenity moved on to her next point.

"The healing, the fighting… it will all be easier _with_ me. If you stop fighting me." Serenity's expression was earnest. "We're the same_, _Usagi, but you can't do this without me. This body doesn't have the experience. You don't have the knowledge or the control. I do. It takes too long to relearn and it is time that we do not have. The healing is a yank because you resist it and me. And there are good memories."

"Why can't _you _do it?" Usagi demanded. "I like it here. I don't have to do anything, worry about anything. You've got the body, the powers, the memories..."

"But I'm not whole by myself either_, _Usagi!" Serenity yanked on the end of her pigtail in frustration. "Can't you see? There are memories that are worth the bad ones, especially now that there is a hope for the future."

"I'm not sure anything is worth those memories," Usagi said softly. She looked away, eyes on her toes, blinking furious tears back.

"Is he?"

Usagi's head jerked up to look at Serenity, whose voice was harsh once again. "Is _he _worth it, Usagi? We died at the thought of existing without him. When he is whole, he cannot be with only a part of you. Would you have him in the arms of another?" The question wrapped around Usagi, a cruel caress. Mamoru- Endymion- whatever name he was called, whatever title he possessed- was painted in the desert sky. "Seeking to no avail what he cannot find in you because you won't let him?" Broad strokes of color, blurred lines, as though his portrait was done in sunset watercolors appeared, but his form was unmistakable. As was the peach hand that rested proprietarily on his chest. Usagi followed the smooth line of an arm to a head of long, wavy, red hair. Serenity circled Usagi and tutted sympathetically in her ear when Mamoru turned into the redhead's embrace and Usagi's eyes grew wide with horror. "It will not be just one other, you know," Serenity said almost conversationally. Mamoru's arm snaked around the faceless woman's waist. "But many. They cannot complete him the way that we can, but he won't feel complete unless you accept what you cannot change." Serenity's voice was hard, unforgiving.

Usagi squeezed her eyes shut, tears escaping from the corners. "Stop," she pleaded. "Enough. All right." She opened her eyes and slowly raised her arms to Serenity. The princess sighed in relief as she stepped forward, the train of her dress sweeping across the sand and lightening it until it was no longer the color of clay, but the shimmering sheen of pearl. Serenity clasped one of Usagi's hands and with the other, gently brushed the girl's blonde bangs aside. Rising on her tiptoes, Serenity leaned forward to press a soft kiss to Usagi's brow, and as she drew away Usagi could feel a golden crescent shining there. The twin girls embraced and Serenity sank into Usagi's skin.

Usagi's body stiffened, shoulder blades seizing together, head tilting toward the sky, gasping for one sharp intake of breath as Serenity—Usagi—they—_she_ awoke.

Serenity's hands tightened on Endymion's elbows as Usagi's consciousness returned. Midnight blue eyes examined her own worriedly before long fingers buried themselves in her hair, which was quickly regaining its previous golden hue. Endymion pressed her to him.

"You had me worried, Odango," he murmured.

She pulled away, startled. It was Mamoru's mischievous smirk that Endymion wore. She laughed and heard the sound with relief. It wasn't the breathy chuckle of a woman trained in courtly ways that she remembered from Serenity's memories, but Usagi's full-throated one. _I'm still me, _she thought and couldn't stop the grin from lighting her face. "We've got a lot to talk about," she told Mamoru.

He nodded seriously. "We do. But I think you may want to address your senshi first." For the fuku-ed warriors were still kneeling in the grass before their rediscovered liege. Jupiter shifted her weight from one knee to the other. Mercury peered up at Usagi from beneath lowered lashes. Venus and Mars had clasped hands so tightly that their knuckles had turned white. The lake behind them was still, vacant of the lovers that had rented a boat earlier. The space beneath the shaded trees was empty of college students relaxing beneath the leaves, the grass missing its usual congregation of frisbee-flinging children.

The white gown faded, replaced with the simple blue and red of Usagi's school uniform. "Guys, get up," she told her senshi.

"Hime-sama—" Venus started.

"Usagi-chan," Usagi corrected. Her eyes swept them, assessing. It would be easiest for Mars and Venus, she suspected. From their behavior recently, it was obvious that they already knew something of the Silver Millennium, so they'd had time to accept her as both Usagi and Serenity. Jupiter and Mercury may have a harder time reconciling the idea.

"Princess," Mercury started timidly.

"_Usagi," _she said adamantly. "I'm the same person that I was before. And I hope that you can treat me like I'm nothing more than the girl that you knew I was."

"Usagi." Jupiter tried now, green eyes connecting with Usagi's approving gaze. "I—how?"

"It's always been who I am," Usagi said with a shrug. Mamoru stood at a distance behind her, armor gone and replaced with his everyday olive green blazer. "The same as you've always been senshi. It just had to be awakened in you."

Mars snorted. "Some of us haven't _always_ been senshi."

Usagi pinned her with a look. "Quiet, Mars."

"Where _is _Sailor Moon?" Mamoru spoke from behind her. His expression was a mixture of worried protectiveness and guilt.

"Recuperating," Usagi said, turning to face him, a smile plastered on. The lie slipped from her lips almost before she could stop it. He blinked. The wind ruffled his black hair and Usagi continued. "She had an, um—incident earlier."

Mamoru's eyes narrowed and Usagi cursed the fact that Serenity hadn't been any better a liar than she was. "Yes, I know," he drawled. "I planned to ask her about that the next time I saw her, as a matter of fact. When you four appeared to defend your princess…" He gestured towards the four senshi. "Why didn't she?"

The senshi stayed silent, though Mercury frowned. Still, Usagi was grateful that they didn't interfere. "Like I said," she chirped. "Poor girl's recuperating. She's had quite the day and just… wasn't up to it." She wrinkled her nose in feigned sympathy.

She needed to work out how her feelings for Tuxedo Kamen would fit into this equation. As Sailor Moon, she was drawn to her protector, and it was obvious from their conversations that he felt the same pull that she did. The poor guy had to be as confused as she'd been after their earlier encounter. And after months of her heart fluttering in her chest at the sight of his cape... at the very least, he deserved an explanation from her before anything else. Before any_one _else. She was in love with Mamoru, knew herself well enough to realize that that was why she'd taken to leaning on him in times of stress. She hoped he felt the same, but he would have wait for Sailor Moon's identity. She owed Tuxedo Kamen that much.

"Usagi…" Mamoru started warningly, breaking into her reverie

"Oh my gosh, it's late," she said, smacking a hand to her forehead. "Mama will have a fit. I bet Haruna-sensei's already called and told her that I skipped out on detention too. I'm _so _grounded." She moaned, rolling her eyes for effect.

"Odango…"

She continued heedlessly. "I've really got to get home, Baka-san."

"Baka-san?" he sputtered as she skipped over to him, faltering only as she was unable to decide between simply saying goodbye or doing as Serenity and Endymion had been accustomed to and parting with a kiss. He arched an eyebrow at her, waiting for her choice. She clapped him awkwardly on the back, and he looked at her incredulously.

Jupiter guffawed as she stood, wiping the blades of grass from her knees. Mercury hid her smile behind a hand, Mars snickered, and Venus bit down on her lip to suppress the chuckles.

"Let me at least—" he tried, starting forward, reaching for her hand and missing as she scooped her schoolbag up from its position on the ground next to the pile of ashes that had been Zoicite. His eyes skittered away from it and the obviously painful memory of a once-faithful Shitennou.

"Oh, no, please, don't worry about me!" Usagi said. "The Senshi will see me home, won't you guys?" She turned unconvincingly bright eyes towards them.

Venus bobbed her head, eyes dancing with mirth. "C'mon, Usagi-chan," she said as Usagi bounced toward them, golden streamers of hair flying out behind her. "We'll get you home." Jupiter hoisted the tiny blonde into her arms as they leaped away, the echo of Mamoru's bewildered voice following them:

"Are you _kidding_ me?"

Endymion twirled the end of Serenity's pigtail around his index finger where they were ensconced in a hall nook of the Terran palace. Stone blocks formed an arch above them, and vines lined the sill of the open-air window they sat before. The silver-haired heir to the Lunar throne lounged peacefully in Endymion's lap. Their bench would have been uncomfortable had it not been for the cushions a manservant had fetched for them to rest upon. A warm summer breeze blew in, smelling of pine needles and sun-soaked grass. "Stay," Endymion murmured, untrimmed hair falling into his eyes as he looked down at Serenity.

Serenity tilted her head up to consider him. "I would if I could, my love," she said, lavender eyes filled with regret, "but I cannot."

"You won't," he said, jaw tightening as he turned to gaze out the parapets. Triangular treetops dotted the landscape below them and as he watched, the verdant green of the pines nearest to the castle took on a lighter brown hue. His fingers halted their ministrations on her silver strands and fell beside her.

"That is not fair," Serenity protested. She straightened from her position in his lap so that she was sitting beside him. "Sailor Venus only agreed to keep my mother away for so long." She lifted her fingers to graze his cheek. "I would stay forever if only it were my decision."

Endymion caught her hand in his. "I wonder," he said. He turned her palm face-open, and his stare burned into her. "I would give up nigh anything for you. What would you for me?"

Serenity looked away. "What do you want me to say, Mamoru-baka?"

Endymion started. Her voice was pitched higher than usual, with a snark that had never existed in her carefully measured tones, and she called him by a name he hadn't heard before. When she turned back, her eyes were blue and narrowed in a sneer, her hair darkening to the color of his crystal. Her dress was melting away to a skirt befitting a peasant. "Am I supposed to pick you?" Usagi laughed, tossing her head back. "Over my kingdom, my senshi, my family? You didn't even choose me over the senshi of the moon. How am I to trust where your heart and loyalty lie? I do not need a fickle lover."

"Serenity—what—I'm not—" Endymion's tongue felt strange, fumbling in his mouth. He curled his hand, trying to conjure a rose to placate his beloved. Nothing appeared. He stared at his empty hand, willed the rose to appear, and hissed in pain as the point of a razor protruded from his wrist. "What in Gaia's name," he began, and shouted in alarm as a steel-tipped rose shot from his wrist towards Usagi.

Sailor Moon snatched the rose from the air with a practiced ease. "Oh come on, Mamoru, you're better than that," she taunted playfully. She lifted her tiara from her forehead to twirl around her finger, a whirling discus of light. One hip was cocked in a confident stance. "After the way you eviscerated Zoicite—and don't get me wrong, I'm glad you did–but then you miss _me_?"

"It wasn't like that," Mamoru croaked. A pang of grief struck him at the thought of his long-ago friend. He felt inferior before the woman in front of him. His sweater itched and he was sweating under his blazer. A white expanse of nothing stretched around them. He hadn't known that he'd been betraying Usagi (Serenity? Whatever he was supposed to call her now, they were one and the same) by kissing Sailor Moon, but he couldn't take it back and he wasn't sure that he wanted to. When it came to Sailor Moon, he couldn't help but question himself.

"No?" She arched an eyebrow at him. "Then what?" She sashayed towards him and slid her arms around his waist. His hand delved into her hair and his lips dove onto hers. She responded eagerly, surging to the tips of her toes, hands moving from his waist to caress the sides of his face. The kiss was desperate and he gripped at her hips, before moving his mouth to bury it in the crook of her neck. She stiffened in his arms and let out a pained cry.

Tuxedo Kamen looked up, breath coming in short pants, his mask falling aside. "Sailor Moon?"

She choked, seizing in his arms, blue eyes hazy. Dark laughter echoed behind her and he looked down over her shoulder to see a woman crouched there, clothed in a swarthy purple fabric. A jagged dagger extended from her hand into Sailor Moon's back. Amber eyes glinted with a triumphant gleam.

"No!" he cried. Sailor Moon started to glow silver, to no avail. Her hands grasped the wound in her stomach. The red stain grew and her hands came away bloody. Golden sparks flashed to life on his hands but faded feebly. "Don't," he pleaded, gathering her close.

"I'm sorry," Sailor Moon said, blue eyes vacant.

"I am sorry," Serenity whispered, lavender orbs closing.

"I'm _so sorry,_" Usagi sobbed. Copper red snakes bound tightly around her body and pulled her away.

And Mamoru jolted upright in his bed, not quite able to breathe.

Mamoru stared into the depths of his coffee, unable to shake the vision of Usagi's unconscious and bleeding corpse being dragged into nothingness. He turned the stirrer moodily, expression stony.

_I won't let it happen, _he vowed silently. His other hand clenched at the metal siding of the Crown Arcade's counter.

"Uh, Mamoru? Buddy?" Motoki's voice interrupted his musings. Mamoru's stare lifted from his coffee mug to Motoki's worried green eyes. "Do you have some kind of beef with my counter?"

Mamoru mumbled an apology, releasing the tabletop. The metal had molded beneath his hand and the indentation of his fingers had been left behind, down to the thumbprints.

"Is something wrong?" Motoki reached for the chocolate syrup and added a generous squirt to Mamoru's coffee. He took in the circles beneath Mamoru's eyes with a worried look.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well," Motoki said, holding up a finger to a pair of giggling junior high students trying to get his attention a few barstools over. "A few reasons really. I haven't seen Usagi around you in a couple days." Mamoru's jaw tightened. "When I _have _seen her, she's... agitated." Mamoru's eyes darkened. "You didn't order a chocolate shake." Mamoru rolled his eyes. "You ran out of here when the girls were looking for her the other day and haven't said a word about it." Mamoru shrugged uncomfortably. "And you look like hell." Motoki cheerfully rounded out his explanation.

"Nightmares," Mamoru muttered in response to the last and ignored the rest. Tinkling bells cut through the continuous beep of the video games, announcing a customer's entrance. Mamoru's head lurched up from his prone position over his coffee.

"Speak of the little blonde devil." Motoki slung his washcloth down onto the counter.

Usagi stood, frozen, framed in the doorway. Mamoru swiveled on his chair, traces of exhaustion gone. Alert now, he scrutinized her from head to toe. Her eyes widened, like the rabbit she was named for, caught in a hunter's sights. "Hel_lo_ Odango," he said predatorily.

"Eep," she said.

"Or!" Mamoru said, affecting a mockingly thoughtful pose as she started forward, step by dragging step—a prisoner on her way to the gallows. Mamoru went on, "Should I call you—"

The look in her eyes promised pain if he finished that sentence. "Not unless I should call _you _'you-know-what,'" she said through clenched teeth. They glared at each other, and for a second, the moment felt ordinary. Then Usagi's eyes twinkled silver, Mamoru's flashed gold, and Usagi took her seat at the stool next to him.

"Lover's spat?" Motoki asked sympathetically.

Usagi's face flamed. Mamoru's frown deepened as they turned away from each other. "_In_teresting," Motoki said. His eyes flicked from Usagi to Mamoru and back again. "So guys," he said, leaning forward to cup his chin in his hand. "Have there been some… shall we say… developments?" Their glares turned on him and the blond slunk away. "Denial's not just a river in Egypt, you know!" he sang out from his new spot down the counter. He turned to take the schoolgirls' orders and the reluctant royals turned to face each other.

Mamoru dove right in. "So the avoiding thing. Thought we were done with that," he said bluntly, eyes flat on hers. He grasped his coffee stirrer and gave it a twirl. He released it and the centrifugal force kept it going. And going. And-

"Would you stop that?" Usagi hissed. She reached over and seized the stirrer, shaking it in aggravation and setting it aside on a napkin. "People can _see _you, baka."

"Spoilsport," he muttered.

Usagi's posture straightened. "You wanted to talk," she bit out. She threw her arms wide. "I'm talking."

"I'm still annoyed at you," he said.

"Nothing new there."

"Usagi."

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Mamoru." Usagi rolled her eyes and thumped her feet against the counter. _Thump. Thump. Thump. _With each beat, Mamoru's jaw ticked in time. Her flowered skirt swished with her legs and Mamoru's hand shot out to grip her knee.

"Please stop being blasé about this."

"I don't know what that means."

"Nothing new there," he said.

Usagi scowled and blew a raspberry at him. "Look, did you want to talk or not?"

"I'm angry with you."

"I know."

"I thought that you finally trusted me."

"I know."

"I should be the _last_ person you'd run from."

"I know."

"We have to talk."

"Let's go."

"_This _is where you live?"

Mamoru looked around. "What's wrong with it?" he said.

Usagi looked around at the unpainted white walls, the leather couches, the chrome tables and wall unit, expression dubious_. _"Nothing!" she said unconvincingly. "It's... nice." She trailed a finger along the back of a chair. "You know I think I saw walls this color on T.V. once." She strolled around his living room. "Except the guy who lived there wore this awful white buckled jacket... and _his _walls were padded."

Mamoru shugged. "It's clean. Who cares?" he said as she walked away to explore.

Usagi peered curiously into the hall closet. "Did you know," she started, sliding the closet door open, "that your towels are arranged according to size, color, and-" she flipped a few tags over "-brand?"

"Must be that damn closet-organizing dwarf again," he said as she moved out of his line of vision. "Listen, do you want anything to drink?"

A blonde head popped out of the hallway. "Hot chocolate?" she said hopefully.

He nodded, opening a cabinet, and assembling the ingredients. "Can do."

"With marshmallows?"

"I thought that was a given." He heard the sound of a door creaking as Usagi moved to exploring the different rooms.

"Your greenhouse room's pretty," Usagi yelled from inside. "I like these blue ones next to your roses, what do you call them?"

Mamoru stilled for a moment. "Forget-me-nots."

"Oh." He shouldn't have been able to hear her soft exhalation, but the breath whispered past his ear. The plants, he surmised. He was growing more used to the powers of Endymion, but it was still a little disconcerting. He felt rather than saw her join him in the kitchen, and wordlessly slid her steaming mug of hot chocolate across the table. Her shoulders hunched as she cupped her hands around it. He lifted his own mug to his lips.

An awkward silence hovered over them as Usagi traced patterns on the metal tabletop. The light glinted off of it and she shifted in her seat.

"So how do we do this?" Usagi, predictably, was the first to break the silence.

Mamoru cleared his throat and set his mug down with a clink. "Well, for starters, I think I should probably take you on a date."

"To dinner, right?"

"Of course. I'm taking _you_ out, Odango."

"Just checking." She tilted her head to the side, expression contemplative. "So... we're dating?" She nodded slowly, decisively, as she digested the idea.

Mamoru's mouth twitched in amusement. "We're dating," he confirmed.

"This means you have to stop calling me Odango," she warned.

"Oh, I'm _definitely _going to keep calling you Odango."

"You can't pull on my pigtails anymore, either." She tapped a finger to her chin in thought.

"No way that's gonna end any time soon."

"And I will require at least one complimentary sundae a week," she finished, wagging a finger an inch from his face.

He couldn't stop an amused smile as he looked at her adamant little face. "As long as I get a few bites." His eyes darkened as they lowered to her lips.

"Well… okay," she said. He watched with great amusement as a blush spread across her face. She twiddled her thumbs and blurted: "It's not just because of the past, is it? Because I like you for _you, _Mamoru, and if you're expecting me to suddenly be able to... to waltz, or to remember to use the proper fork, or to act like I _used to, _you had better remind yourself that that was a long, long time ago and-"

Mamoru chuckled, cutting her rant short. "Usagi, over the past few months you have driven me absolutely crazy_._" She bit her lip. "I've yelled at you, been more irritated than I ever thought possible, made an ass out of myself in public... generally acted how I never thought I would," he summarized. "But I've also worried about you when you weren't around, laughed when you were around, and been crazy jealous when anyone else was around you. So, no. It's not because you're Serenity and I'm Endymion. Although, it is an unexpected bonus," he admitted.

Usagi looked relieved. "What exactly do you remember?" she said. " From back then?"

"I've got bits and pieces," Mamoru said. "Mostly Endymion pops up in flashes. If I drift off or fall asleep, I'm getting things that I think are memories, but they've been shifting into…" _Visions_, his mind supplied. _No._ He refused to believe that what he saw last night would happen in any way. "…Nightmares," he said instead. "What about you?"

Usagi turned to the side. Her voice was soft and her expression bleak when she replied, "Everything."

He changed the subject, taking pity on her. "How are the senshi? Do they remember anything yet?"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "It wasn't the same for them. Venus and Mars have had pieces for a while now, but Jupiter and Mercury?" She spread her hands. "Nothing."

"The girls," Mamoru said. "Minako, Rei, Makoto, and Ami, I mean. They're the senshi, aren't they?" She nodded. "And who's Sailor Moon? Someone at school? Do I know her?"

Usagi shrugged. "You'll meet her sooner or later."

"You know, I thought I remembered everything important, but I don't remember her," he confessed.

She hummed in agreement. "Luna says it was because the moon was at her strength."

"Who's Lu—Right." Mamoru cut himself off as the knowledge caught up with him. "Advisor. Cat. From Mau. Talking animal." He sipped his hot chocolate, shaking his head in wonder. "This memory thing's tricky."

"No kidding," Usagi said with a laugh. "Anyway, she says the planetary warriors were all awakened and assembled at the Silver Millennium court. There was peace. They didn't need a senshi of the moon then."

"They probably could have used one that last night," he commented.

"Again, no kidding."

The mention of the eve of the final battle silenced them both again. This time it was Mamoru who broke it. "After I..." He motioned awkwardly to himself so she had no doubts what he meant. "How did you- Was it Beryl?"

Usagi shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut. "No." She laughed bitterly. "No, that would have been me."

"You?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Mamoru moved to protest, but she cut him off. "I'm not avoiding, I just don't want to get into the details and I'm sure you get the gist."

"Sere—Usagi… Don't do that again." He reached across the table to lift her chin so that she was forced to meet his eyes. "No matter what happens, you _stay alive._" The vision of her eyes going blank, her body going slack, red wrapping around her until she disappeared…

_I won't let it happen, _he promised himself. _So there's nothing to worry about._

Her eyes were stubborn when they met his. "You dove in front me and died," she reminded him. "You have no idea what that was like."

He didn't answer. He couldn't say that he was sorry. He'd do it again if it meant prolonging her life for even one second. And, he knew, he might have to.

Neither of them spoke.

"So when exactly did you figure out who you were?" she asked, giving up. He wouldn't apologize for it and clearly neither would she. "Endymion, I mean."

"Same time you did." Usagi looked at him blankly, and he continued. "You know, little battle, small light show, mayhem, past lives, that whole shebang?"

"And you're not overwhelmed with being thrust into the world of short-skirted super heroines and masked dudes?"

He blinked in confusion. "Well, I'm the only 'masked dude,'" he made finger quotes in the air, "around that I know of."

She stared at him for a moment until he could actually see the knowledge click in her mind. "Wait..." she leaned forward, smacking a hand flat onto the table. "_You're _Tuxedo Kamen?"

A rose appeared in his open palm in answer, stem still embedded deep in his wrist. "Ow." He frowned down at it. "I have got to learn an easier way to do that." He looked back at Usagi, who was staring, dumbstruck, at the rose. "Well really, Odango, who else could it have been?"

Usagi began to laugh so hard she could scarcely breathe.

"What? Is it so hard to believe that I'm Tokyo's caped crusader?"

"No," she said as she fought to catch her breath. "No, actually it makes perfect, _perfect_ sense." She dissolved into giggles. "Hang on, there's something I really need to tell-"

"Me first," he interrupted. He coughed uncomfortably, trying to be heard over her laughter. His tone was worried, and Usagi seemed to struggle to obtain a sober countenance. "Sailor Moon and I- well we had kind of a _moment _last week, but I already... well, I realized I liked you and I couldn't have both of you at once and—_will you stop laughing?"_

"Mamoru, you baka." Usagi's grin split from ear-to-ear. "_I'm _Sailor Moon."

Mamoru blinked, putting the pieces together: Weird glowy powers, trademark hairstyle, that _kiss, _those eyes, Serenity fading into Usagi fading into Sailor Moon, all three of them dead in one fell swoop—_No._

"Of _course_ you are," he said, giving himself a mental smack. He felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. "Well, that makes this a whole lot less complicated."

"Tell me about it." Usagi heaved a relieved sigh. "You have no idea how stressed I was—but then again, I guess you do."

He nodded. There was still the problem of this nightmare that he couldn't shake, but that was easily remedied. He'd simply have to work doubly hard to protect her. At least the worry of wanting two girls at once had turned out to be a moot point.

"So, I'll see you at school tomorrow?" she asked, gathering her bag and standing.

He nodded and fought to urge to rise at the same time, a habit that Endymion had passed on. "I'll pick you up," he said, eyes on the petite blonde before him—_his _little blonde, his inner voice thought gleefully. He kept a straight face and reclined his chair back onto two legs.

"All right, well then I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning." She leaned over, pigtails softly brushing his arm, like spun silk. She dropped a soft kiss on his cheek, turning bright red as she did so, but looking proud to have accomplished it. As she drew away, Mamoru caught her chin and took her lips with his own. Her eyes popped wide in surprise before sliding closed as they both focused on the touch, the sensation that was so new in this life, but so wonderfully familiar in the past. Her mouth was soft. He nipped at her bottom lip with his teeth, and at her quiet gasp he wrapped his arm around her waist to tug her from her bent position into his lap. The chair settled onto four legs with a thud, but neither of them noticed. She wriggled, settling herself in and he groaned, hand fisting in her golden hair as it moved to tilt her head. The kiss was a dance of reunited lovers, instinctual. They moved with each other, heads tilting, lips parting. Usagi sighed into him and wound her arms around his neck. She opened her mouth when he softly sucked on her bottom lip, whimpered as he gently touched his tongue to hers. It sent an electric shock ricocheting through the pair, and Usagi drew away, panting and red-faced.

"That," she told him, trying to catch her breath, "is going to take some getting used to."

He laughed deeply, tossing his head back. "If I remember correctly," he said, "that is always going to knock the wind out of us." He snagged her lips again for a brief peck. "But now that we get to do that whenever we want, I plan to enjoy every minute of it."

Not a great deal changed over the next couple of weeks. Usagi was still late to class sometimes, but now Mamoru occasionally was too. Neither of them, when they appeared (Mamoru grinning, Usagi red-faced) seemed sorry. They still had regular shouting matches, but they now ended rather abruptly (often mid-sentence) when one would seize the other by the shoulders and kiss the breath out of them. Mamoru and the girls reached a tentative truce when he and Motoki joined them regularly for lunch.

Usagi's reactions to the youma became almost unnoticeable with the merging of Serenity's consciousness and being at Mamoru's side dampened it still further – down to an accelerated heart rate and shortness of breath – but then that tended to happen around him a lot anyway. Battles became infrequent and something of a farce, with the weakest youma she'd encountered since becoming Sailor Moon. The worst she had to endure was the senshi's teasing when she and Tuxedo Kamen arrived together and Mamoru's bizarre paranoia over her before they left for the battles. _Yes, _she always assured him, she'd be careful. _No, _she wouldn't take any unnecessary risks. And _yes_, _fine, _she'd stay out of the way until she could use her tiara or wand.

Things were going so well that Usagi had started to congratulate herself. Who said she couldn't handle this whole princess, superhero, soulmate, reincarnation, saving the world thing? she thought, head in Mamoru's lap, wiggling her feet as she happily licked at an Oreo's filling.

"Want one?" She stuck the wet cookie in his face, where he made a noise that sounded suspiciously like "Eurgh." Her eyes narrowed. "I hope you didn't just make that sound at my Oreo."

"I'm not sure what kind of germs it has," he said distractedly, eyes narrowed behind his glasses at the Biology book he had in hand. The other hand stroked her hair absently.

"It has the same germs _you_ do." Usagi rolled her eyes. "Or have you developed amnesia over the past two weeks?" She'd forgotten to bring her manga with her to his apartment and had been waiting patiently for him to finish his reading for a whole—she checked her watch—ten minutes. It was time, she decided, for him to focus on something else. The living room was more pleasant to spend time in since she'd insisted on putting some of the roses out there, but that didn't change the fact that her boyfriend—a little ripple of pleasure brushed over her at the thought; it was still so new—was currently boring her out of her mind.

"I not only remember the past two weeks—" Mamoru turned the page of his textbook—"I remember the past couple of _lives._" The smoldering look he flicked her way made her face burn. "Vividly."

She managed to mumble an embarrassed, "Mamo-baka."

"When," he asked, setting his book aside (Usagi cheered internally), and focusing intently on the blonde in his lap, "are you going to call me something besides baka?"

"When," she shot back pointedly, "are you going to pick a name for me other than Odango?"

"I like Odango."

"Clearly." She settled down with a huff and licked a new Oreo. "If you cared about me, you'd eat it," she said petulantly, around the bite of cookie in her mouth.

He snatched the cookie from her hand and chomped down on it. "Happy now?" he asked, pecking her on the forehead and returning to his reading. She continued to stare at him. "What?" he asked without looking up from his book.

She shook her head. "Nothing." She reddened as she added, "Mamo-chan."

"All right, then." He turned to a new page and mumbled, "Usako."

There was a moment of silence, broken only by the sound of crinkling paper as he turned the page. Usagi tapped her toe lightly on the couch cushion. She squealed when, much to her delight, he let his book fall to the floor, slid his hands beneath her shoulders and flipped himself to lay beside her. She sat up slightly to grab his lips with her own. He cupped her small face in his hands. They were just getting to her favorite part (as Mamoru tilted her head so he had better access to the line of her neck), when a soft beeping interrupted them.

Usagi groaned and dropped her head to his shoulder. "Crap," she mumbled into a mouthful of his shirt. "Not now."

"Whassat?" Mamoru's usual composure had yet to be regained. His hair was still rumpled and his eyes were still dark, but they were sharpening quickly. "Is that your communicator? Odango?"

She glared at him, straightening her clothing. "So much for Usako, huh?" She rolled past Mamoru and off of the couch as her hair tangled around her from the movement. She reached one hand into her bag, rummaging around until she pulled her communicator out. Mamoru watched as she flicked it on. Hopefully, she thought, it would be some puny little thing that she could dust in no time, and then she and Mamo-chan could get back to-Her thoughts halted as she heard the frantic voice of Sailor Venus.

"I'm outside the Crown—_ahh!_" Venus's cry was filled with pain and the communicator was dropped with a clunk. After the sounds of a brief scrabble to pick it up, the screen bounced with her as she ran and her face filled the pink device's tiny display.

The senshi of love and beauty had never looked less like what she was, Mamoru saw as he joined a horrorstruck Usagi. The petite blonde covered her mouth at the sight of the injuries. He put a hand on her shoulder, and she grabbed at it, her gaze stuck on her friend. One of Venus's eyes had already swollen and purpled so badly that it was almost shut. A cut on her forehead was bleeding profusely and the orange sleeve of her fuku was ripped. "It's Kunzite," she gasped as she ran, and the screen split to show Mars, Jupiter, and Mercury, already en route, judging by the way each head of hair flew behind them, in full sprints. "And," Venus went on, "if I'm not very much mistaken, Beryl… among others" She fumbled to turn the screen to face the scene before her and they were treated to the sight of three beautiful youma. The Dark Kingdom's queen hovered above them, ominously still as she watched her underlings tear the city apart. The senshi grimly chorused that they'd be there in matters of minutes as Venus's communicator fell again from her grip and skittered across the ground. They heard the clacking of her heels as she abandoned it and sprinted across the pavement to challenge Kunzite.

Sharp talons showed in the device's screen as it was lifted and filled with the image of Beryl. "Come out, come out, little princess," she crooned. "It's time we finish this game we play." Beryl cackled, exposing her fangs, amber eyes cruel, and red hair winding around her face. Mamoru's heart dropped to his stomach.

_Red hair._

The screen went black.

Usagi woke from her shock and dropped to her knees to dig through her bag. She was muttering curses through tearful eyes as she threw things out of her bag. "_How_ did I miss this?" she said to herself. "If only I'd worn the brooch—" for, as she withdrew the brooch Mamoru usually saw her wearing, it was emanating an almost blindingly pink light—"I should have known, should have guessed, the fights have been too easy lately._"_ Her voice broke. "Come _on, _Mamo-chan, we need to go!"

Mamoru gripped her by the shoulders. "Usagi," he said firmly. "_We _are not going anywhere. The senshi and I will handle this. You are staying here." He couldn't let her near Beryl, he knew. The horrendously vivid nightmare varied from night to night, but it always ended the same way. A variation of Usagi, dead, in his arms as copper-colored bindings dragged her into the shadows.

Usagi looked startled. She pinned her brooch to her uniform's bow with shaking hands. "Mamoru, they _need _me out there. I have to—"

"-Stay. Here."

"Not a chance." Usagi's mouth set in a stubborn line.

"Figured as much." He shrugged unsympathetically. He strode towards her and tossed her over his shoulder.

She squirmed frantically, beating at him with her hands and feet. "Mamoru—put me down_—_you don't understand_," _she said desperately.

"No, _you _don't understand." He set her down on the tiled floor of his bathroom. "I refuse to let you put yourself in that danger again. I _am not_ going to let anything happen to you again—much less at _Beryl's _hands, unless you missed that memo," he said acidly. A rose appeared in his hand, but he had no time to gloat over the triumph of a transformation without injury. Tuxedo Kamen's cape swirled around him and his eyes gleamed angrily behind his mask. "I'll be back soon," he promised. He paused on his way out the door. "Try not to worry."

He shut the bathroom door behind him.

"How _dare_ he?" Usagi fumed. Those were _her _senshi out there, that was the woman who had destroyed _her _home, and this was _her _fight. She stomped to the door and yanked at the knob.

Neither door nor knob budged. She pulled and pushed with growing horror. He'd fused door, knob, and wall together. "Dammit, Endymion! Now is not the time to pull this master of all elements crap on me! _Mamoru!" _She screamed, trying to quell the inner panic. She pounded on the door, kicked it, beat it with her fists, crashed into it over and over again with her shoulder. "You've got to let me out! You can't do this-"

The slam of the door echoed through the apartment.

"—without me," she finished in a terrified whisper. She was alone. "Ok, calm down, breathe Usagi, breathe," she said. She inhaled and exhaled deeply, gripping one of her buns in a shaky hand and squeezing it like a stressball. "There's got to be a way out of this bathroom." The obvious answer of the door was simply not going to happen. Unless she was very much mistaken, Mamoru had also managed to transmute it into some sort of strong metal, and she hadn't even made a dent in it. She dismissed the idea of crawling through the air vent—she'd had a few too many ice cream cones this week to be able to squeeze through. Usagi pressed her wrist to her forehead to assuage the burn growing there. Her crescent moon had appeared, she saw in the mirror above the sink, and it did nothing to ease her worry. Her eyes lit on the small window above the bathtub.

"I wonder…" she mused, making her way over to it. It would certainly be a tight fit, but it was definitely bigger than the air vent. If he hadn't—

_Score!_ she thought as she propped it open. She pumped a fist. Baka had been so busy not listening to her that he'd forgotten about the window. She threw one foot eagerly out of the window, straddled the sill, and dropped the two stories to land gracefully in the alley below.

"Unbelievable," she said. Her pigtails flew behind her as she took off at a run towards the arcade. "Why couldn't anyone have been around to see _that?"_

Tuxedo Kamen didn't get the warm welcome from the senshi that he'd hoped for.

It was a gruesome scene. The glass windows of the Crown were shattered. The sidewalk they stood on was reduced to rubble. Civilians with sense had vacated the area, not even news vans trying to get close enough to get footage. Bodies littered the street. Some, he saw, were breathing. And others… Well, he hoped that he and his manly sparkles would be able get there in time. Motoki was inside, blood on his forehead, slumped unconscious over the counter, apron stained red. Mamoru couldn't tell whether he was breathing or not. The three youma had teamed up against Mercury and Jupiter, who appeared to be holding their own, while Mars and Venus were doing their best against Kunzite, but quickly losing ground. A red-headed woman hovered above them, watching intently, darkly magnificent in skintight purple.

Beryl. Just as he remembered her. _At least Usako's nowhere near the witch,_ he comforted himself.

"Where is she?" Venus threw the question to Kamen when he fell into step beside them. Mars nodded sharply to him and dropped to the ground just in time to avoid a vaporizing stream of light from Kunzite. Kunzite didn't speak to acknowledge his former prince, only laughed, sounding just short of unhinged. His silver hair whipped into his manic green eyes.

"Safe," Kamen shouted back, voice grim with satisfaction. He dodged a stray blow from one of the youma's razor-blade arms, and blocked Kunzite's strike with his cane. Mercury corralled the stray youma away from the fight with Kunzite, while Mars ducked under Tuxedo Kamen's arm, fireball formed in her hand as she thrust toward the general, releasing it. It dissipated with a wave of his hand.

"We need her _here_!" Jupiter shrieked as she was whipped off her feet from the youma's energy blast. Mercury threw a Shine Aqua Illusion towards the green-skinned demons and raced to pull Jupiter up. The attack froze the youma, but only for a moment before the ice cracked again and their melee began all over again.

Kunzite landed a punch on Mamoru's cheekbone. For a Dark Kingdom general, he didn't seem to mind the physical approach. "We don't need her here," Kamen shouted. "We—protect—her," he huffed between parrying Kunzite's strikes (he'd apparently decided that a broadsword would be more effective). "The five of us can handle these_-" _Tuxedo Kamen sneered in his old Shitennou's direction, allowed himself to feel moment of triumph when a return kick to the stomach resulted in surprised grunt from Kunzite- "_nobodies."_

"No, you _idiot,"_ Mars screamed, her voice obviously raw from shouting attacks. Her eyes were narrowed as she shot a burst of fire towards Kunzite's face. He rippled, disappearing and reappearing in the next moment. "We can't!" She blocked a punch and screamed as Kunzite delivered a powerful kick to her chest, sending her flying off her feet.

"Mars!" Kamen yelled. He ran towards her and Kunzite seized the moment of inattention to blast Tuxedo Kamen into a light pole. It cracked clean in half as his body whipped through it, wrapping in his cape. Kamen groaned as he got to his feet slowly and untangled himself. His body felt like the gravity had doubled upon it after the impact.

Mamoru internalized his pain to shift his focus back to the battle, where Kunzite was stalking towards his former prince, death in his eyes. With a growl, Mars sprang from the ground and charged towards the general; he swatted her away like a fly. Her back hit the concrete with an audible crack. She did not get up.

"Love Me Chain!" Venus cried, swinging her chain towards Kunzite. The glow of power surrounding the golden links faded before it even reached him and the cord wrapped harmlessly around his hand when it made contact. He yanked the end, sending the blonde senshi flying into him. She cried out when he dropped the chain to seize a fistful of her hair. "Oh, I remember you, witch," he said, glowering down at her. "I remember you running me _through!" _He roared as he tossed her aside. Venus's body flew through the air like a child's toy. She smashed into a nearby window and lay as still as a rag doll.

"Prince," the last Shitennou said, looking again towards Tuxedo Kamen. He started, locked in shock after seeing two of the fiercest warriors he knew batted away like they were no more than mere nuisances. Hearing Kunzite address him after a millennium was strange. In a way his voice was the same, like decadent chocolate; it rolled over the senses like silk. But it was bitter now, dark chocolate, and it left an aftertaste in Kamen's mouth.

"Traitor," Tuxedo Kamen replied tersely, shifting into fighting stance.

Kunzite chuckled. "Come now, Endymion," he said, throwing his arms wide with a jovial grin. "Why must it be this way? We were friends once."

"You were a decent human being once."

"It's true I've developed certain… habits," Kunzite admitted with a shrug. "But you must see, Prince, that this mingling between our people and those of the moon… it perverts the natural balance of things. If you would just renounce—"

"—I'm pretty sure we've had this conversation before," Tuxedo Kamen said. "My answer hasn't changed."

"So be it." Kunzite sighed. "I did try, you know."

"Too well."

"I tire of this game," Beryl announced from where she floated. Her voice was harsh, grating enough to make Tuxedo Kamen grind his teeth together. She flicked her hair over one shoulder.

"So do I!" a strident voice exclaimed. Tuxedo Kamen whirled in horror to see the petite figure of Usagi, fists clenched at her side. Her blue schoolgirl's skirt swept to her knees. Hair bare of the jewels that would mark her as Sailor Moon, brooch still attached securely to her uniform's red bow, she took in the destruction and battle spread before her with hard eyes and glared hatefully at the self-proclaimed queen.

Tuxedo Kamen took off for her at a run, sure that the blood was draining from his face. He stood in front of her, cape out-stretched to shield her, hand quaking as he extended his cane. "You've got to be kidding me," Tuxedo Kamen said, eyes darting between Beryl and Kunzite. He had to get her out of here. His mind raced, but he kept his voice light. "If you weren't going to listen to me, you could have at least bothered to _transform, _Usako."

Usagi reddened, glancing down at her uniform. "Youlocked me in a _bathroom," _she reminded him with a glare. "A _bathroom, _Mamo-chan!" She yanked her brooch from the front of her bow.

"Idiot Odango," he muttered, with one eye on her as he shifted at least part of his attention back to Kunzite, who bared his teeth in a poor imitation of a grin.

"Stupid Baka," Usagi mumbled during the brief light show in which Sailor Moon's form replaced her own. Beryl's expression grew suddenly hungry and the knot in Mamoru's chest tightened.

"Leave, Usako," he commanded. "Now. Get _out _of here." His voice was desperate, he could hear it, but his hopes fell as Sailor Moon shook her head pityingly, eyes sympathetic.

"You know I can't," she said softly. "I have to do this. I owe everyone that much."

The sting of frustrated tears surprised Mamoru, but he blinked them away furiously. "Why should it be you?" he demanded. "It isn't fair." He sounded, even to his own ears, like a plaintive child.

"Why should it be anyone?" Usagi hugged him from behind. "Believe me when I tell you that I understand how you feel. But things are different than they used to be. I'm- _We're _different. Stronger. We have a chance this time."

Mamoru shook his head and reached blindly for her hand. "I love you, you know," he said.

"I know." Her lips quirked as she glanced his way, stepping to stand beside him. "I love you, too."

In the distance, a cloud of dust rose as Jupiter and Mercury finally combined their powers to defeat the youma that Beryl had brought along. Their eyes pointedly avoided the unconscious forms of Venus and Mars as they made their way, sweat beading their red faces and limbs trembling from exertion, to stand with their princess.

Beryl let out a deep cackle, descending slowly. "Hello little princess," she purred, landing gently on the ground. Sailor Moon lifted one foot so that her feet were spread wide and she gripped the Moon Wand with shaky hands before her. Beryl tilted her chin in invitation, eyes glinting, and a sinister smile spread across her face as small fangs protruded.

"Come to play?"


	10. Chapter 9

_**Haru no Kousekiinai Arimasu**_

_**Chapter 9**_

_**By Natsudori Lina**_

Sailor Moon's back was aching. Bent backwards beneath the weight of Beryl's power, hair stuck to the nape of her neck, the flesh of her palms blistered against the heat of the Moon Wand. They'd been at this for hours, it seemed. Somehow, she'd always thought that, though brutal, the final battle would be quick. Venus and Mars had awakened some time ago to drag themselves to join Jupiter and Mercury, grim-faced, behind their princess, ready to lend what power they had left when called upon. In an unspoken accord, they did not waste their energy. They seemed to know that any efforts they made now would only weaken them for the final strike. Moon's arms, so easy to hold up when she'd first lifted them in defense, now felt like they had iron weights strapped to them. If nothing else, she thought wryly, at least she was getting a wicked arm workout today.

Somewhere to her right, Tuxedo Kamen's hair hung in dampened strings from his head. Kunzite had struck again with Beryl's first blow, sword heaved over his head. Kamen had intercepted the blow. Kunzite hadn't lost the manic energy that he'd had at the beginning. He flew at Kamen again and again in a frenzy of rage. Tuxedo Kamen's mask had fallen to the wayside some time ago, but he still managed to block most of Kunzite's strikes as he stumbled backwards. His fatigue was beginning to show.

Meanwhile, Tokyo slept and an unnatural stillness hovered over the city. Sailor Moon was afraid to ask how. She grunted and straightened with an effort. The ginzuishou let stream a burst of light, pushing the black energy back a quarter of the way.

"Give up," Beryl demanded in a rasp. She wet her cracked, dry lips.

Sailor Moon snorted in response. "You wish." She leaned her weight to her right, trying to relieve some of the strain on her left leg.

"How very like the spoiled little princess to assume." The beam of black widened. "No, you foolish girl. I do not wish. _Wishes _are for the hopeless. The weak. The ones who look upon the night sky and believe that twinkling bits of light in the sky will mend their sicknesses, fill their pockets, maybe even make someone _love_ them." Beryl's voice fractured on the bitterness it contained. Sailor Moon grit her teeth and funneled her power through the wand under the forceful deluge that rained like a black hail down from Beryl's hands. It wasn't enough. Bit by bit, the black stones of energy punched through Sailor Moon's silver. The Moon Wand acted as a conduit but when it came right down to it, Sailor Moon was discovering, it hindered the strength of the raw power of the ginzuishou. Beryl continued, spittle gathering in the corner of her mouth. "They look at that sickly glowing ball in the sky and think that it promises them something more. They think that _you_—your high and mighty race of Lunarian putrescence— that you care for them. They don't know, as I do, how you must take what you want from this universe. Because no one will help you. You must seek out what power there is and bend the universe to your will!" Beryl finished in a roar and Sailor Moon tossed the wand aside to cup the ginzuishou bare-handed.

It was like plugging a lamp into an outlet during a thunderstorm and feeling the power surge crawl into her body. It could only be so long before the bulb and her heart would burst from a light and current that it just wasn't made to contain. Usagi had never reached the core of the ginzuishou's power before and it was both electrifying and terrifying. Every cell in her tingled with a maddening exhilaration.

As though it was child's play, the silver light of the ginzuishou batted the black away. Beryl fell to her knees as the light engulfed her. Usagi barely noticed when white lace brushed her ankles and the light weight of pearls settled onto her wrists. She watched the spot where Beryl had fallen with avid eyes, but didn't dare lower her arms or the ginzuishou. It can't have been that easy, she thought.

It wasn't.

Beryl burst from the silver spotlight, away from the steady stream of power. In her hand was a beveled sword the color of marcasite. The blade was curved wickedly, with a jagged pointed hilt. She cackled like a woman gone mad as she flew at Serenity.

Endymion didn't waste time with words but Serenity heard his hurried footsteps as he tried to make it to her side. Kunzite yanked his cape and pulled him back and away. Kunzite didn't seem to expect it when a set of thorned vines split the pavement to wrap him up in their shoots. They jabbed into his flesh, tore the fabric of his coat. Kunzite howled as the vines twisted around his body, folded him in half. He choked on his own breath until his breath was no more. Endymion was already running again, towards Serenity.

Sailor Venus leapt forward to defend her princess, clutching a blade that shone like platinum, but Serenity seized it, the ginzuishou vanishing, to turn and block Beryl's strike. The swords met with a clang and Serenity cried out when the impact vibrated through her. She held her grip, refusing to give her senshi a chance to take over. This was her fight.

"You stupid, stupid, girl," Beryl panted. She bore down hard with her black sword, using it one-handed. She moved a hand to grip her own shoulder as though it pained her and Serenity felt a little gratified. And least the Dark Kingdom queen didn't seem used to the swordplay overmuch either.

Both of their feet left the ground just as Endymion reached them. A black wind lifted them into the surrounding air. Beryl seemed more at ease here, floating leisurely. Her purple dress rippled around her spiked black heels and really—Serenity thought furiously, struggling to stay upright—who on earth would _choose _to wear heels to a battle? Serenity kicked off from a nearby building in an attempt to launch herself, sword and all at Beryl.

The dark queen stepped aside to easily avoid the blow and charged at Serenity to pin her to the white cement of an office building.

"This is quite the switch isn't it?" Beryl mused, a cruel smile spreading across her mouth. Her lip split and bled, but she paid it no mind. "After all, once upon a time, if you'd found me on your planet I'd have been the one fighting the atmosphere."

Serenity kept her silence.

"Did you never wonder?" Beryl stroked an indigo talon down Serenity's cheek. She cringed away from the witch's touch, pressing her cheek to the wall. Beryl caught her arm again as Serenity started to raise her sword, and tutted in warning. "No, no, no, we're having a dialogue, little princess. Just think: what _if_? What if you had simply stayed in the sky where you were supposed to? Perhaps your so-called 'great' civilization would still exist. Perhaps thousands of lives would not have been lost due to your selfishness."

Serenity spat in her eye, the most ammunition she had since Beryl had her pinioned at the elbows, unable to lift her sword. "You want to talk selfish? What if you hadn't been so desperate that you started a war for someone who _never loved you?"_

Beryl struck her with the flat of her sword. Serenity's cheek throbbed with the blow. "He would have loved me." The whisper was more to herself than Serenity. "He _will_ love me. And your death will be slow, before the entire Dark Kingdom. My youma could use the entertainment."

Serenity wasn't going to die. Not stuck to the side of Star Trust Mutual Bank like she was now. Her mind raced. Something wasn't right. Beryl was too strong. How? The Dark Kingdom had been formidable before, but they shouldn't have enough energy gathered for an attack of this scale right now, not with the weak youma they'd been using lately. She flicked her gaze to the window she was pressed next to. Inside, people slumped over desks, still as death, except for the gentle rise and fall of their chests that betrayed the life still inside of them.

Beryl watched her, wary of the silence, the lack of resistance. "What are you about, girl?"

"It's them," Serenity said softly. She looked from Beryl to the peaceful figures inside and back again. "It's the people—the humans, isn't it? That's how you're doing this. You're taking their energy. That's why the entire city is still asleep."

Beryl shrugged. "Awake, their wills consume too much of their energy. It's wasteful. By inducing sleep, I can put it to better use. It's the least they can do for their queen."

"But you're not their queen," Serenity corrected her. "You're on Earth, Beryl, which already has a sovereign."

"You?" Beryl snarled. "You think _you're _fit to rule them?" She sneered into Serenity's face, red hair slicing into her eyes.

"No." Serenity craned her neck over Beryl's to see the ground below them, where she could see the senshi and Endymion gesticulating wildly as they argued about their own course of action. And then she yelled for all she was worth. "Endymion! Mamo-chan. We need the city to wake up! It's how she's—"

"Shut. Up." Beryl released one of Serenity's arms to hold her sword to her neck.

Out of the corner of her eye, Serenity saw, in a flurry or multi-colored skirts, her senshi rush to shake the bodies that had dropped where they stood, the ones that had been tossed into windows.

"Come on, princess."

It was hard to tell from the distance, but the civilians seemed to be stirring, one by shaken one. Not fast enough.

"I thought it was the hero's nature to prolong a chance for escape," Beryl mocked. "You may be able to extend your miserable life for a day or so."

Even from the height where they hovered, Serenity could see Endymion's eyes shining a molten gold. He slowly lifted his hands, like the conductor of an orchestra that they couldn't hear. The planet pulsed once, but Beryl was so lost to her own brilliance that she took no note.

"But one more word—"

They were losing altitude; the princess and the would-be queen, falling so slowly that Beryl still didn't notice. The black wind that whirled around them slowed. People stirred inside the building, beginning to lift their heads and look blearily around. The brace of Beryl's hand around Serenity's arm felt weaker somehow.

"And I'll—"

Her arm free, Serenity plunged her sword through Beryl's middle to the hilt. Beryl screamed and Serenity did too on a sob, thrusting every bit of power that the ginzuishou had to offer through it. Red, yellow, blue, green and gold shot from the ground and she spun them together too and through the sword, which hummed with the power.

Please. Who Serenity was begging, she couldn't say, but she asked again. _Please. _

The chuckle started low in Beryl's throat. "It's not enough." She threw her arms wide, laughing maniacally, and she and Serenity were buoyed into the air again, Serenity's back scraping on the stone of the building until they were far above the city, hanging in the clouds themselves. "_It's not enough! _I am too strong for you." Beryl's head rolled on her shoulder like she was easing a crick in her neck and she tenderly traced the edge of the sword that protruded from her stomach still. "You're. Not. Enough."

Serenity gripped her sword with both hands and pushed harder. Beryl only laughed louder. Maybe it had always been meant to come to this, Serenity thought. She screwed her eyes shut and reached down into herself to find her own core of power. She wasn't only the ginzuishou-wielder. She'd been Sailor Moon before that, and if that was what it came down to…

Every little nugget, every seed, every tingle of magic that she had went through that sword. Her fingers loosened on the hilt; she was losing the strength to hold it. Another push of power, maybe her last. Beryl stiffened. Serenity's hand dropped away and her head lolled backwards. Like the air went slack with them, they dropped from the sky. And the last thing that Serenity saw as she plummeted back to earth was Beryl's limp body toppling onto her, her hair knotting around the both of them like threaded embalming.

* * *

It felt wrong when they hit the earth with little sound but a soft thump and the crack of bone. Two beings of such great power, it seemed that there should have been more impact, like a meteoroid that formed a crater around it. The Sailor Senshi and a teenage boy in an avocado green jacket tripped over themselves in their rush to the tangle of hair, arms, and legs.

"Princess!" Venus reached them first and dropped to her knees. "No."

Mars, the next to get there, let out a choked sob. "We were supposed to protect her."

Jupiter and Mercury begged, as the four girls fell together to hold each other. A torrent of words gushed from them, from all the senshi. A river of "pleases," "you can'ts," "we love yous," and "come backs."

Mamoru started forward, a fog hanging over his mind. He had known words once, too. Used them like his roses in battle—pretty, but cutting. They still lingered somewhere within him, but as he stared at the two broken bodies on the ground, they escaped his grip, refused to travel to his tongue. Unmoving, sinister purple and brazen orange-red were shoved to the side from where they lay atop blue skirts and golden hair that fell from its buns. Usagi's eyes were closed, her limbs at unnatural angles. Gold played about Mamoru's fingers dimly, his power all but spent as he stood over the small figure of a simple schoolgirl.

Her breath came in shallow, stuttered gasps. She was unconscious, Mamoru saw with hope. Not alive. Not dead. Somewhere between.

Mamoru found a word. Just one, but it was enough.

"Odango."

The golden sparks flared to life like a switch had been flipped. They raced to do his bidding, leaping across the small expanse between the girl he'd known forever and yet too short time. There wasn't much left in him, but all he needed was the slightest bit of her soul to act as kindling and ignite—_There!_ Usagi's body bucked once on the rubble-strewn ground and Mercury broke off in the middle of a sob. Again. Mamoru grabbed Usagi's shoulders and pressed the sparks into her. Three more times. Just when he was ready to give up, she took a great, gulping breath of air and her hand latched onto his wrist.

"I thought we agreed," she wheezed as she opened her eyes. "That you were going to stop calling me Odango, Baka-chan."

* * *

The next day, Usagi was allowed to leave the hospital. The disoriented victims didn't seem to recall the floating figures and spectacular light show that had preceded them falling to the ground, but they _did _remember seeing Mamoru and the Sailor Senshi gathered around her, as she sat up, obviously injured. The doctors had kept her in the hospital for observation after the eyewitness accounts of the aftermath. The Senshi had taken to the rooftops once they were sure that Usagi was healing normally—well, as normally as they healed anyway. Mamoru had gotten away with a cursory look over and short statement to the police on the scene, but Usagi had a surprisingly strong grip on his knuckles for someone who'd come so close to death, so despite the paramedics' initial protests, he was permitted to ride along to the hospital with her. Usagi had also threatened that if they didn't let him come, she'd scream. She assured them that they didn't want that; they had no idea how loud she could yell.

Mamoru, unable to contain his grin when they looked at him in disbelief, said "She'll do it. She's crazy." He smoothed a hand over one of her buns.

To her disappointment though, no matter what volume she threatened them with, the hospital staff absolutely refused to let him into the room with her. "I don't care how loud you yell, missy," one particularly stern nurse told her, wagging a finger into Usagi's pouting face. "If it comes down to it, I'll run down to the drugstore on the corner and buy earplugs for the whole staff, but the examination rooms are for _family only _and I don't see a ring on either of your fingers."

Face reddening, Mamoru took that as his cue, pecking her on the cheek and whispering in her ear that a certain masked man would pay her a visit later that night. Usagi crossed her arms and settled back into the hospital-mandated wheelchair; the unflattering hospital gown wrinkled with the motion. "He had better," she mumbled. She pointed a commanding finger down the hallway, directing her words at the nurse behind her. "Come on Bernadette! Allons-y!"

Mamoru rolled his eyes as he walked out. "I never should have let her borrow my Doctor Who DVDs."

As the only casualties, Beryl and Kunzite's pictures were still circulating the news networks. The media was asking anyone who recognized "Jane or John Doe" to come forward to identify them. When alone, none in their group said a word when someone changed the channel, but Usagi's mother always scolded her for her lack of sympathy. Mamoru had squeezed her hand as she fidgeted in her seat after his first Tsukino family dinner. "Tsukino Usagi," Ikuko said from her position next to her husband, who'd spent the entirety of dinner glaring at Mamoru.

He made a mental note to bribe Ami to scan Kenji for any Dark Kingdom brainwashing. He'd almost prefer that to be the reason for the man's obvious disliking towards him.

"They were in the same freak attack that you were." Ikuko shook her head. "That could just as easily have been you."

Mamoru swallowed the reply that wanted to rise to his lips: "Tsukino-san, you have _no _idea._"_

Weeks later, the city and the senshi were cautiously optimistic about the fact that there hadn't been any large-scale youma attacks since what Japan News had titled the Aurora Attack (someone in their marketing department clearly had a thing for fairy tales). It was too much to hope for that the youma would disappear entirely, but without the organization that Beryl provided, the youma seemed confused when they made their way to the crowds, seizing citizens, and when the senshi and Tuxedo Kamen showed up, they said their attacks like a question.

Mamoru almost felt sorry for them.

When it had been two months since the last youma sighting, Usagi stomped into the arcade. She slung her black schoolbag onto the table and dropped into the booth across from Mamoru. She lifted her feet onto his knees under the table. "So this it?" she demanded.

"What's it?" He raised a hand in greeting to the girls who were grabbing seats at the counter. Minako and Rei were almost nice to Mamoru now, albeit with a needling sort of friendship. It seemed saving their princess after Beryl was out of the picture was all that Venus and Mars required and once that _itty-bitty _task was taken care of, they pretty much laid off.

Usagi leaned forward, intent. "This!" She widened her eyes at Mamoru like that would make him understand.

"I'm going to need you to be a bit more specific."

"The bo-ring," Usagi enunciated. "We walk to school. We go to class. No interruptions. We eat lunch like civilized people—"

"—Most of us."

"_Like civilized people, _Mamo-chan," she said with a glare. "I go to detention, we come here. You get your chocolate shake or coffee depending on your mood, I steal it depending on my mood, maybe the girls join us, and then you walk me home." She whirled a finger in the air. "And repeat. I miss fighting for justice," she sighed.

"What about fighting for love?"

She waved a flippant hand. "What fight? You've got me, I've got you. Bing, bang, boom, baby."

"Quiet contentment isn't good enough for you?"

She pointed at herself. "Loud," she said by way of explanation.

He raised his eyebrows and sat one elbow on the table. "Am I to understand that you're bored with me, Usako?" He stroked a finger down her stocking. She jumped and he grinned.

"Don't look so smug," she said.

"Come on, I'm _Mister_ Exciting!" he protested.

"No, _you_ are Mister Routine. Mister By-the-book. Mister A-place-for-everything-and-everything-in-its-place._ I'm_ the exciting one."

"Can't we just agree that we're both exciting?"

"You haven't kissed me all day," she said pointedly. "If you want to be exciting, I think you should work for it a little."

Ah-ha. Now he saw the glimmer of mischief in her eye. He took her chin between his thumb and pointer finger and dropped a soft kiss onto her lips. "How was that?"

"Getting there," she murmured.

He reached for her again and when her mouth opened eagerly under his, he lost his breath. He moved a hand to the side of her neck and she leaned into his touch without breaking the kiss. It was when he inched from his side of the booth's bench, around the table to Usagi's side and gripped her waist in his hands that Motoki bellowed from behind the counter. "This is a family place!" The couple sprang apart, cheeks heated for more reasons than one.

"Exciting," Usagi said, wide-eyed. She looked shell-shocked on her side of the booth. "Right. Definitely exciting."

Mamoru grabbed Usagi's hand and tugged her to her feet. She scrabbled for the handle of her bag. "Come on, Usako. If excitement's what you're looking for, I've got plenty of ideas."

She all but pushed him out the door.

With her small hand in his on the walk back to his apartment, Usagi bumped him with her hip. "I just want to make sure you know I was joking about all of that excitement stuff earlier. I get to be _normal _again and I get to be with the love of my… lives. I'm not about to take that for granted."

Though he had known it, it still tugged a grin from him to hear her say it out loud. He concentrated and conjured a silver rose, sans thorns, sans blood from his veins, and silently wound the stem around one of Usagi's buns. She blinked up at him. "What's that for?"

He dropped a kiss onto her head. "To remind you that you're so much more than normal to me."

_**The END**_

* * *

_**Author's Notes:**_

_Oh. My. Lord._

_Is this real life right now? I'm getting this urge to pinch myself because I started writing this… let's see, yep, Haru is over six years old. I "published" the first chapter near the beginning of my senior year of high school and forgot about it through most of college. There was a time when I wouldn't let myself say it, but I'd pretty much abandoned it._

_But here we are. It's done. It's really done and I kind of can't believe it. _

_Thank you to Kaitlyn Fall for beta-ing these last two chapters, to Angel for reminding me that I should finish this, Arashi for beta-ing for me WAY back when, usako_mamoru for just existing, and thank you for reading._

_And now I suppose I should get back to work on my original stuff. _

_Again, thanks for reading! I hope you've enjoyed and that you all have a wonderful new year in 2012! _


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